Already at the stage of pregnancy, knowing that soon a long-awaited son will be born, every woman thinks about how to raise a boy a real man. It would seem that there is nothing complicated in this - according to prevailing stereotypes, for the correct growth and formation of knowledge, the boy needs the attention of his father. And not just attention, but the direct involvement of the parent in the life of the child. Modern psychology has debunked the myth that only in a complete family is it possible to raise a real and strong man - both a married woman and a single mother are able to raise him.
Birth
When the baby is born, he needs all the love and care of the mother. Until a conscious age, according to studies, a child does not distinguish between people by gender, but by the first year of life, he easily determines where his mother, father, sister, uncle or other relatives, acquaintances. From the very moment of birth, the boy needs more warmth and affection than a newborn girl, since small representatives of the strong half of humanity are more vulnerable physically and psychologically. No need to limit communication with the baby - even at such a young age, the child feels attitude towards himself. Pointing at the hands of a crying son, you should talk with him, reminding him that he is a man, he is strong and brave.
Growing up
When the boy is three years old, communication with males becomes a necessity for him, and it does not matter who it is: dad, husband of a friend or grandfather. For him, the main thing at this age is to comprehend and adopt all male behavioral qualities and habits. In how to raise a boy as a real man, psychology at this stage of his development advises against forcing the child to do anything at the request of the parents, against his will. This is fraught with the occurrence of misunderstanding in the family, as well as the manifestation of personality complexes in a baby at a more mature age.
From boy to man
The child, becoming older and taking as a basis the features of the behavior of the representatives of the stronger sex surrounding him from childhood, builds communication with peers and relatives. Attitude towards women in a boy is formed thanks to his mother - it is she who personifies femininity, beauty and domestic warmth. Looking at mother, the baby at a subconscious level remembers her features, both external and character, which in the future will affect his preferences in choosing a life partner.
Can a mother raise her son on her own
Many women, in attempts to give their child the love and care of a father, often sacrifice themselves. At the same time, each of them finds excuses for his actions: “So what if the husband beats me / doesn’t work / drinks / cheats, but the boy has a father. To grow a man out of him, he needs paternal care.” Often, such a “care” is manifested in the form of constant poking and urging, since with disrespect for a woman one can hardly expect strong fatherly feelings from a husband. Men of this kind in no way, except, of course, the conception, will not participate in the upbringing of the baby, all the cares for him will completely rest on the shoulders of women.
As a result, after long and painful attempts to correct the “negligent dad” and the futile search for a compromise, the family breaks up. This pushes a woman with a small son to look for a new dad for the baby. Sometimes everything is repeated in a circle, and in other cases only a few find a good family man and father. You should not think that, having parted with her husband, a single mother will not be able to properly raise a boy - such is the strength of any adequate and loving mother. To do this, you must follow a few simple rules for communicating with a child.
How to raise a boy a real man without a father
From the moment of awareness of the surrounding world, a mother should develop in her son responsibility for herself, her words and actions. Over time, the boy will begin to understand that the promise must be fulfilled, and correct the mistakes. The child should be explained only in a calm, affectionate tone, without scandals and tantrums. It is important to remember that the baby must constantly be given the right to choose - the only way he will feel independent.
There is one more important aspect in how to raise a boy as a real man: the son must feel his worth. But one does not need to cultivate egocentrism in him - such a person will grow up as a "daffodil", and his further adaptation in adult life will be much more difficult. Significance is not instilled on the scale of the universe (I am everything for this world), but only in relation to the mother. For example, when boarding a public transport, a mother may ask her son to help her or during a walk she turns to him with the words: “Take my hand, suddenly I will fall, and you will hold me back”.
Any mother should understand that communicating with males to a child in order to become a successful and confident man is vital. She is obliged to allow her son to see his father (if any), to spend time with him. At the same time, she should constantly be aware of all the events taking place in his life, talk with him about this and help solve problems. How to raise a son a real man? Become his friend, the best and closest. With a lack of male attention of the boy, of course, after agreement with him, you need to write to any sports section - the sport disciplines, helps the child adapt in society.
Parenting a real man: common mistakes
- An excess of love at a conscious age provokes a wrong perception of the world around the child. Undoubtedly, it is possible and necessary to love and protect your child, but there must be a measure in everything. Mothers should pre-configure themselves at the moment when the son grows up and has a family. Some women are particularly keen on taking a child out of their parental home; they simply cannot reconcile themselves to the fact that their beloved son is now without a mother.
- A cruel attitude, pressure from parents never helped to bring up a strong and courageous man. Of the families who believe that shouting and assault, as well as the lack of the right to choose, are the norm, there come out clogged, shy and embittered guys who have low self-esteem and disrespect for women in their luggage. It is worth remembering that our children are a reflection of the "weather in the house" and the behavior of parents.
- The lack of attention from both the mother and the father makes the future man lock himself in. Growing up, these boys become estranged, many of them, in order to make their parents notice themselves, get in touch with bad companies, start drinking alcohol, drugs, and acquire various bad habits.
Future man: raising a full family
Some mothers make one very big mistake - worrying about the health and safety of the newborn baby, they do not allow the father to fully enjoy communication with him. It is the very first moment of the meeting between the pope and the son that is the key point in how to raise the boy as a real man. If a wife refuses her husband several times his desire to help with a baby, then the future healthy communication of the father with his son may come to naught.
Mom and dad
A mother should more often leave her child with her husband, facilitate their joint pastime - organize various trips for their men, send them fishing. In any conflict situations, the mother must be neutral, but do not forget to talk with the baby about his misconduct.
How can a father bring up a boy as a real man? To do this, you need to be an example to him in everything from the attitude to his wife and ending with his position in society. The child intuitively feels whether dad loves mom, whether he respects her. Even if both parents try to create the image of an ideal family with their son, and behind closed doors they constantly quietly find out the relationship - it will be difficult to raise a real, mentally healthy member of society from a boy.
Books are the best assistants in the educational process
Many parents are looking for the answer to the question of how to raise a boy a real man. The book, which contains the good old tales, helps to tell the child in detail about the role played by him in life. Knights, heroes, princes with remarkable strength are always ready to help the weaker sex - beauties enchanted by evil wizards.
The distribution of roles in each fairy tale allows one to explain to the little boy that men are strong, heroic and selfless people. Thanks to fairy tales, the ideal image is formed in the child’s subconscious, which he wants to strive for.
How to raise a son with a real man: advice from psychologists for mothers
- Teach your child the rules of etiquette. It does not matter at what age to start, the main thing is that from an early age he understands how to talk with elders, why women need help, and how important the words spoken by him are.
- Explain to your son that all his emotions: fear, embarrassment, joy, sadness and sadness can and should be expressed in words.
- Accustom the kid to order, let him help you around the house.
- Organize reading evenings, read good life stories and tales to your son, share your impressions with him.
- Teach your child to play correctly. Supporting his failures, tell the boy that one defeat is not a reason to give up and abandon the goal.
- Show him that affection is not a weakness.
- Let your child help you and others. Just let, not force.
- Promote frequent communication between dad and son.
Recommendations for fathers
- Throughout pregnancy, support your spouse, talk with a baby growing under her heart. After his birth, try to spend as much time as possible next to him. It is at this stage that you will begin to understand how to raise a real man from a boy, using only your skills and love for the child.
- Find free time, try to be at home as long as possible - endless business trips and irregular working hours take away from your baby the precious childhood spent with dad.
- Show your emotions more often. The love, laughter, and tears associated with your son are not considered weakness. Looking at you, the boy will understand that there is nothing shameful in this.
- Be disciplined, set a daily routine for the child. How to raise a son so that he grows up a successful man? Make his day useful, help him solve tasks. Gently, without assault, establish discipline standards, while calmly and firmly insisting on respect for oneself and the mother.
- Learn to have fun with your son. Joint leisure should bring joy to both the child and you.