When a child does not obey his parents, this noticeably worsens the relationship in the family. As mom and dad begin to get nervous more often, break down on a child, try to get him to do something. This, in turn, worsens the attitude of children to their parents, and their behavior often becomes completely uncontrollable. It is necessary to find some kind of approach to the baby, learn to communicate in a normal tone, develop a certain model of behavior that will suit all family members. In this article we will learn how to make a child obey the first time without screaming and unnecessary nerves.
How to Obey Obedience
Young children quite often seek to help their parents in everything, but often this help only gets worse. And many mothers and fathers simply forbid the child to do something around the house, sometimes even scolding him for it. And then we are surprised that, having matured, our children refuse to do household chores. But did their parents teach them to do this?
To teach a child to obey at 2 years of age or a little later, any activity should be encouraged. The son wants to help dad hammer a nail, or the daughter seeks to wash the dishes with her mother. There is nothing wrong. It is necessary to provide the child with the opportunity to be useful, and even if such help is not quite appropriate, it is impossible to deprive the child of the opportunity to help.
You can teach a child to do something in the house gradually. First, do the work with him, then tell in detail what he should do and how, and after a while the children themselves can already cope with long-familiar tasks. Another good trick is the game. Children love to play, and therefore any, even the most boring occupation, they may like if presented in a playful way.
Bans
Children do not like the word "impossible", but parents cannot do without it. Permissiveness does not lead to anything good. Young children especially often take advantage of the weakness of their parents, and in order to achieve something, they simply fall into hysteria. Parents, to stop crying or to save their nerves, allow the baby everything, if only he would not hysteria. As a result, nothing good comes of this. And such behavior of adults in childhood negatively affects the behavior of a child at an older age. Bans are a mandatory part of the upbringing process, but the main thing here is to find a middle ground. So that parents do not go too far, psychologists have developed some recommendations on this subject.
Parental flexibility
Psychologists recommend that the child’s activity be divided into four zones of permissibility, where the green zone will indicate what the child is allowed in any case, he has the right, for example, to choose the toys he will play today, the right to choose a place to play, and the like. This is followed by a yellow zone where something is allowed to the child, but subject to the fulfillment of some task. For example, if the lessons are done, then the baby can safely go for a walk. Orange zone - only a few exceptions will apply here. We all know that on weekends you can go to bed later or eat more chocolate than usual on holiday. These permissions will be included in the orange zone. And of course, the red zone is something that cannot be done under any circumstances. The child must clearly know about all the prohibitions and never violate them.
Consistently and consistently
If you brought something into the red zone, then in no case should the child be allowed to violate the ban. Otherwise, he will understand that it is possible to break the rule, and will cease to obey his parents. The same rule applies in the yellow zone. Many parents forbid children from using the computer until they have done their homework. No need to succumb to the entreaties of the child and be allowed to do homework after playing on the computer. Since then he will completely cease to pay attention to study. If parents have established some kind of prohibition, then they must firmly stand their ground.
And also all prohibitions must be discussed with all family members. After all, it often happens that dad forbids something, and mom allows without any questions. Similar behavior also does not bode well. Children quickly understand which of the parents needs to address a particular issue, and as a result, they do not obey any of the parents. Moreover, such situations often lead to quarrels between adults.
Proportionality
Do not demand from the child something impossible and even be angry with the baby if he can not do something. There are difficult prohibitions that some children are simply not able to fulfill. For example, how can you make a preschooler sit still, not talk, don't run and don't jump. Children at the age of three generally say “no” to almost every request of their parents, and this is considered normal for this age. Mom and dad should know some features of the age of their child in order to behave properly with the baby.
How to choose the right tone
Not always the strict voice of mom or dad brings a positive result. Most likely, it will be much easier to persuade the child to do something if you speak calmly and friendly. It is not in vain that they say that the forbidden fruit is sweet. When a parent speaks in a rude and strict voice, the baby may be offended, take everything at his own expense and do something in spite. But if you turn to him in a good way, then he will treat the ban, rather, as a request.
How to punish
Any failure to comply with the prohibition shall result in punishment. There are some rules regarding punishments that can be very effective:
- Many parents try to make a child feel bad: put in a corner or give on the pope. Psychologists believe that this is not worth doing and will be much more effective if you give the child something good so that he does not do something, than punish him for the perfect action.
- Punishments should not be of a public nature, as this degrades the baby. Everything related to punishment should take place at home and without prying eyes.
- Do not try to humiliate a child with punishment. This can greatly damage his self-esteem.
- Punishment takes place only if the child has really done something. And to punish just like that, for "prevention" is strictly prohibited. After all, the baby does not even understand what he was punished for, and accordingly, his behavior will not change for the better.
- Parents should avoid any physical punishment. It is only allowed to hold the child by force if he wants to run away somewhere or climb into a dangerous place.
Some leniency
There are no ideal people, and therefore, ideal children. There is no child in the world who would obey his parents one hundred percent, and this is the norm. After all, if the baby will live only according to the instructions received from the mother, then no life experience will be gained. Sometimes, instead of thousands of explanations, it’s enough to let the child do something that will cause him little harm. For example, nothing terrible will happen if he touches the flame of a candle. Having received these sensations, he will once and for all remember them and will no longer climb there. But such permissions take place only if it is safe for the life and health of the baby.
Relationship with caregiver
How to make children obey the caregiver if they just don’t hear him. In some kindergartens, this is attributed to a large number of children in the group and to loud noise, but in reality this is far from the case. Most likely, the teacher simply has a too quiet voice or the tone is set incorrectly. You need to work a little on pronunciation, but do not shout at the children, as this will not change the situation. The voice should be loud and clear, with a little strict intonation, giving a setting for a particular action. You can also try to contact the children in a playful way, offer them various nursery rhymes and games.
Age features
It is especially difficult in kindergarten with children of three years of age. Many parents and educators wonder: how to make a child obey at 3 years. Indeed, it is at this age that he most often encounters the word "no." If educators are ready for this period, then parents simply give up. After all, always a cheerful and flexible kid turns into a naughty child. Parents need to prepare in advance for the protests of the child, develop a certain model of behavior, and learn to find compromises. Well, if they learn to negotiate with the child, allow him to make a decision on their own, but at the same time they will receive from him what they need.
Conclusion
As you can see, following such simple rules, you can easily make a child obey his parents at 2 years old and at an older age. The main thing is to be able to find an approach to the baby, learn to negotiate with him, and not establish a rigid dictatorship, as parents often try to do. But in most cases they receive only protests and even more complicated relationships with their children. And following the above tips and keeping calm when communicating with children, you can make the child obey without screaming, maintain your health and establish relationships with your beloved child.