Recently, quite often you can hear that future fathers are present at the birth of children. Joint births have become very popular. However, talking about their benefits is clearly not necessary. It is important to take into account all the nuances, especially since the process is associated with the birth of a person. Quite often, women in such a situation behave in a manner unusual for them in ordinary life. To make a balanced and deliberate decision, it is necessary to study all sides of the issue.
Where to begin
In order to understand whether a husband needs to be present at childbirth or not, you need to decide for yourself whether you are ready for such a step. It is important to decide why a woman wants her partner's presence. Do not demand this from a partner in the family who has problems. Childbirth with her husband can be a catalyst for their deepening. There will be a feeling of guilt, which the partner will experience for the pain and burdens of the woman. It is necessary to exclude the desire to manipulate.
You need to know the opinion of the husband and how he relates to joint birth. After all, you can find many stories in which women were very sorry about what happened.
In any case, for the spouse to make a final decision, his preparation and introduction to the information will be correct. Joint trips to courses of young parents and reading positive stories about joint birth can create the necessary emotional mood for a man to make a decision. Pressure from a woman in the issue of joint birth with her husband should be completely excluded. Indeed, in the male head there are myths that are important to dispel.
The probability of a man getting shocked from everything he saw during childbirth is not as great as it is customary to think, for the reason that the spouse is at the head of the woman. Rumors of a decrease in attraction to his wife are also exaggerated. In this case, the sex life of obstetricians would be completely absent.
So if a man himself shows a desire to be present during childbirth and it coincides with the desire of the future mother, then there are no obstacles from the side of the doctors. However, this issue is best resolved in advance, since joint birth with the husband may be unacceptable in some cases. Doctors usually warn about them. In addition, before sending to the hospital, preparation for joint birth is necessary. This applies to the technical, organizational, moral and physical aspects.
The role of men during childbirth
Women who have had experience with childbirth paired with a spouse note that their help was difficult to overestimate. They helped to distract from severe pain, provided support. After all, childbirth can last up to 12 hours, starting from the first signs, ending with the separation of the placenta. No doctor can devote so much time to one patient. At such a moment, it is the future father who can become a real assistant who will run after the nurses, control the periods of contractions, and bring water.
It is very difficult to predict how the woman in labor will behave, and the husband during childbirth will be able to become a person who will make important decisions if necessary, if the expectant mother is not able to do this. Before you go for childbirth with your spouse, you should tell him about how this process occurs, what stages it consists of. Indicate what his role will be on each of them.
The first stage and the help of the spouse
The husband at the birth of his wife at the first stage can:
- Record the time and intensity of contractions, as well as breaks between them.
- Support a woman, create a comfortable psychological environment in order to prevent panic and tantrum.
- Help relax in between contractions or do a massage to relieve tension from the lumbar region.
- Help in the woman performing exercises aimed at alleviating her condition.
- Helping to maintain proper breathing during contractions.
- Ensure maximum contact with medical staff for a joint decision on interventions, whether it is drug administration or surgery.
Second phase
With the onset of more intense contractions and contractions, the second stage begins. At this time, the child passes into the pelvis and beyond. During this period, the role of men is reduced to such actions:
- Active management of the breathing process and reminders of how to do this correctly, as a woman in such a situation can be distracted and forgetful.
- Help to take the most comfortable body position during muscle contraction.
- Moral support.
- In addition, to more clearly convey the instructions of doctors to the woman in childbirth, since at the time of delivery the woman is not able to concentrate at the same time on the birth and on the instructions, and the partner can do it.
Sometimes getting information about how far a child has come can greatly encourage a woman and give her strength.
After the immediate birth is completed, the young father can cut the umbilical cord under the supervision of a doctor and lay the baby on the mother’s chest. Often times like to capture such moments on the camera or the camera to keep memories.
At the last stage, the placenta is separated. The process can also be painful, and yet at this stage, the father has the opportunity to thank the staff for their help and support.
So sometimes a man can become the best assistant for a woman during childbirth. And joint preparation for them will bring future parents closer together and give them the opportunity to equally share responsibility after the birth of the child. It is involvement in such an important event that will make the father more attentive and close to his family. Indeed, the awareness of the birth difficulties that a woman makes for the sake of having a baby can make the family even stronger in the future.
What is needed for joint birth?
If a decision has already been made, it is important to know what you need for a joint birth with your husband. After all, not everyone imagines all the specifics of the process and is prepared for it. That is why it is important to send a man to courses where they will explain to him what childbirth is, how they pass and how he should behave. On them, he will be able to master the basic techniques of analgesic massage and breathing, as well as how exactly you need to support your partner in a psychological sense.
Analyzes
In order for childbirth with a spouse to be possible, certain formalities must be followed. We will talk about them further. Be sure to take tests for the presence of her husband in childbirth:
- for syphilis;
- hepatitis C and B;
- AIDS.
You also need to undergo fluorography, get a certificate from the therapist about the state of health.
However, the list may be smaller or larger, it all depends on the requirements of the hospital or the selected clinic.
Things for father
The set of necessary analyzes and documents for dad needs to be supplemented with a bag. She is different from her mother's and includes the following set:
- Clean replaceable clothes made of cotton (some maternity hospitals may themselves give out such clothes).
- Clean socks.
- Rubber Shoes.
- Food and drink.
The latter is especially necessary. After all, childbirth is not a momentary process, but a man’s stay in a state of hunger near a woman giving birth can become even more difficult test for all participants in the event. For joint birth it is also allowed to take equipment for filming.
Joint birth: the pros and cons
Like any new trend, the situation when the husband is present during childbirth causes a lot of controversy. Each of the parties substantiates its attitude to this issue in its own way, citing its own arguments and arguments. They can be reduced to a specific list, which you must familiarize yourself with when making a decision. When can I take my husband with me for childbirth:
- If the level of trust is so high that it does not cause discomfort for a woman from not the best condition and appearance.
- In a stressful situation, a man can pull himself together, mobilize and behave appropriately.
- If a man is ready to take responsibility for the baby.
However, it is more reasonable to refuse to find a partner during childbirth if:
- Confidence between spouses has not reached a high level. Most often this can be found in very young couples.
- With a conservative approach to the education of one of the partners. Pressure can cause the opposite effect.
- There are doubts about the appropriateness of joint labor at one of the partners.
- A woman is not used to sharing her problems with a man and letting him solve them.
- In a man, the emotionality is so high that in stress he cannot control himself or is easily amenable to panic.
- A man does not differ in endurance, because childbirth lasts for hours, and the wait is unbearable for him.
- Spouse used to be the center of attention. This type of men is also not suitable for attraction to childbirth.
- The husband does not know how to take responsibility.
When a man himself expresses a desire to be at the birth of his second half and does it consciously, such an event can give the couple a positive experience. Overcoming trials together makes relationships better and stronger, and childbirth is nothing more than overcoming difficulties. They give incomparable happiness with nothing.
That is, giving birth to a husband:
- Improve relationships, especially when they were already trusting. This can be characterized by a peculiar transition to a new level of proximity.
- They help to form paternal instinct faster. Male psychology is designed in such a way that men begin to experience love and affection for a child only after some time. Most often, only by the time the child begins to speak.
- They make it possible to establish a special relationship with the child if acquaintance with the father occurred in the first minutes of life.
With all the pros and cons, anything can happen during childbirth. For this reason, finding a man next to a woman in childbirth is not possible in all cases. Sometimes it happens that the presence of an extra person is unacceptable for medical reasons.
When you can not give birth together?
Modern medicine is capable of miracles. However, she is not always able to control pregnancy so that there are no complications. Moreover, some pathologies and problems are detected at a fairly late date.
Let's look at possible reasons that may prevent a spouse from attending childbirth:
- The presence of threats and pathologies during pregnancy.
- Childbirth associated with risk to mother and baby.
- Delivery using cesarean section, as this is a real abdominal operation and there is a risk of infection due to any negligence.
The list may be longer, depending on the hospital and obstetrician.
Birth stress
Among the medical contraindications to partner births can be called the stress experienced by a man. Particularly sensitive people can take what is happening so close to their hearts that they will begin to feel guilty that they can develop into a real complex. The labor activity for women is arranged, so that her brain can move away from what she experienced very quickly under the influence of a powerful release of hormones of happiness. This is what helps girls not to be afraid of repeated birth.
So, taking your spouse with you to the hospital, it is important to be sure of his readiness, and such a decision should not be a tribute to fashion. In this case, joint birth can cause irreparable harm to the relationship as a whole.
Some features
However, one can often find descriptions from the experience of doctors when the spouse's presence negatively affected the woman. This also needs to be known to the couple who decided on joint birth. It is necessary to discuss in advance what and how to do when the moment comes so that the future father will leave. This will save both the need to apologize or feel guilty about each other.
In addition, it can be said that forcing a man to attend childbirth in order to improve relations is unreasonable. If the couple does not agree, then giving birth to a husband can lead to complete disagreement, while having withstood all the worries and seeing a child, a man can simply enter into a very serious struggle for him because of awakened fatherly feelings. After all, if divorce cannot be avoided in any case, then you need to be prepared for such a turn of events.
Definitely, you can’t take revenge on a man, therefore, for any offense that only a woman knows about. After all, during pregnancy, the hormonal background changes so much that all the words seem unjust.
The significance and consequences of joint birth for the family
The presence of a husband in childbirth always has consequences, which can be completely different. They can even be divided into groups. So, after childbirth:
- The intimate attraction between spouses can simply fade away. It is generally accepted that this is due to the fact that a man did not see his woman in the best possible way. Although rather, such a result is associated with a bad and not strong foundation in the relationship initially.
- The second development scenario is that the man will begin to see the woman as the mother of his child, showing her respect and honor while exalting her. Such a development of events can cause the extinction of the fire in a relationship. Then the whole initiative needs to be shown to the woman in order to make it clear to the man that she is still a loving girl and partner.
- It is also possible that the couple will experience a feeling of unity and deepening relations and a special spiritual affection, which further strengthen the union.
- And the last option, when the couple in life did not change anything. Although it is difficult to imagine, given that a family is truly born only with the advent of the child, especially when it is a continuation of the feelings of the parents.
It is impossible to say unequivocally that a husband should not or should be next to his wife during childbirth. The solution is individual for everyone. It requires reflection and preparation. If a man wants this and the woman agrees, a joint study of the issue and preparation can make the process as comfortable and painless as possible for further relationships. It is very important not to press each other and be able to discuss all the exciting issues.
After all, being near a husband in such a crucial exciting and difficult moment can give a woman strength and confidence, both in her safety and in the safety of the child. After all, with a girl who has become a mother, all thoughts are automatically directed to providing comfortable conditions for a new life. The man who is closest to all is perceived by the newly held mother as a source of protection.
The presence of her husband in childbirth, reviews
Many young dads say they are glad they took part in childbirth. They note that at that time they were useful to their wife, helped her mentally and a little physically. The hardest thing, men say, is to look at his wife’s contractions. In the process itself, it becomes easier morally. After all, soon it will end and the long-awaited baby will be born.
They also write in reviews about the presence of her husband in childbirth, that this is necessary. After all, the spouse at this moment is in dire need of support. A husband is especially needed if the birth is not at the hospital, but at home.
Some guys think that giving birth to a husband is unacceptable. In the reviews they write that nothing like this will bring anyone anything good. Believe that joint birth is harmful to intimate relationships. They destroy them in some way.
As you can see, there are radically different opinions about going to childbirth with her husband. In the reviews, people also write that before the event they were scared about the possible consequences. But nothing happened, relations only improved, became warmer.