Even with the most convinced careerist over the years, the idea may appear that she wants to leave a trace after herself, to love someone and take care of someone. In a word - understanding that it is time to have a baby. However, a potential dad may simply not be ready for such a turn of events. What to do wisely in such a situation? What if the husband does not want children?
Fear of responsibility
Among the reasons why the husband does not want children, this is the most probable. Almost all adolescents at the height of interest in the opposite sex are cautioned against rash acts, motivating this with the fact that the child is an extremely big responsibility. Stories of relatives and friends like: “There, Zinka from the third entrance gave birth, her husband can’t feed his family. I have to ask my parents, but they are also not young ... ”they only add fuel to the fire. A man may have nothing against the idea of raising a baby, but he is afraid that he is corny not ready for such responsibility.
What to do
Family psychologists in this situation are advised to get a dog or other animal. A man will learn to take care of someone who is weaker, will see returns. You can tell him about your childhood, about how your father took care of you in due time. You can visit friends or acquaintances who already have babies. Having seen his friend as a happy dad, a man can realize that not everything is so scary.
Uncertainty in feelings for a spouse
Here, everything is somewhat more complicated and depends on the situation. It is very important to understand: the husband does not want children because ALREADY is not sure of feelings for you, or MORE.
What to do
In the first case, you most likely missed the right moment, and your beloved has long been peeking "to the left." If you got married just recently, you should not rush things - probably the man really wants to make sure that you are a reliable person who is worthy to raise his children. But to keep her husband with the help of a child is not worth it. First, it is better to resolve intra-family conflicts or even part and seek new relationships - the baby must grow up in a strong and loving family.
Don't rush
It is not so important how old your spouse is: some are already psychologically ready for the appearance of a new family member when they are 20 years old, and some when they are 40 it seems too early ... The essence of the problem is that a man often sees marriage not as a step into adulthood , to a completely new stage of it, but as another exciting adventure.
What to do
Show your respect for your husband, and the next time he decides to extend the term (“Come on, maybe in a year or two?”), Agree with him, but immediately make it clear that you do not intend to wait any longer. Believing him, you will show that the word spouse for you is the law. When a husband does not want children precisely for this reason, it is important to let him feel the inevitability of this step. But in no case do not oppress him with hints of age and that it is time to settle down - this will push him even harder.
First you need to stand firmly on your feet
It is also possible that the husband does not want children, believing that this is fraught with new huge financial expenses, which he is not able to extend.
What to do
First, think about whether you yourself demand too much from him. Perhaps with your requests of a cosmic scale for anything else, he does not have any money left. Make it clear that first of all, the child needs the love and care of the parents, and not the Gucci sliders or platinum walkers.
Marriage of convenience
If a person’s marriage is guided not by bright feelings, but by the bank account of the bride’s parents or herself, he will most likely be apathetic about the idea of having a baby (“If you want, come on, if you don’t want, don’t need to”).
What to do
If you are sure that you want a child from this particular person, he will not create any obstacles for you. However, be prepared for the fact that all the worries and responsibilities will completely fall on your fragile shoulders.
Health problems
Only this reason why the husband does not want a child can be called serious.
What to do
Let him know that you really want a baby, but only from him and nothing else. Call a man for a frank conversation, let him talk about his problems. Tell a couple of examples (maybe a little embellished), when your friends and relatives successfully recovered from infertility. Remember that in more than 90% of cases the work of a competent specialist will give the desired result, the main thing is to find a good doctor!