The question of how to raise children worries every responsible parent. This topic is so vast that a whole book (and not one) can be devoted to it. However, there are basic principles derived by many years of research by doctors, psychologists, therapists, and educators that everyone should be aware of.
Contact The task of raising children is made easier if a strong relationship is established between the child and the parents (or one of the parents). Unconditional love and understanding, support - this is what parents should become for their child. It is in you that he should never doubt. Let your child know that he is beautiful, love him with all his flaws, even if he disappoints you. You should not expect that he will not repeat your mistakes, that he will be impeccable. This is impossible, he is part of you, and perhaps not the best. But only your love will help him become strong, confident, resourceful, develop correctly. Learn for yourself and teach your child to discuss a problem with you, to find a solution together.
Punishment is the main way of education. What should it be? First of all, remember, violence is not good. It gives the child the “right” to be offended, instead of recognizing his guilt. But the absolute absence of punishments in the child’s life will lead to his spoiling, disobedience, lack of boundaries in behavior in society. Such children are called ill-bred. There must be a middle ground in punishment. A symbolic slap can be used if you have exhausted all your strengths for verbal explanations.
Education in the role. Children in our society are gradually confronted with an awareness of the difference between girls and boys. This difference is expressed in the imposition (in the good sense of the word) of a certain role. No matter how unpleasant it may sound, girls really have to do it, and boys do it. Let your daughter have a pink dress, and your son will have real "boyish" jeans. These little things are important for the normal development of the child. The upbringing of boys will be different from the upbringing of girls - this is the order of things in a civilized society. But this does not mean that you cannot teach your daughter to be strong and courageous, and you cannot teach a boy to love and show indulgence. You are free to strive to educate in your child those qualities that you consider necessary. But never neglect gender identity.
The composition of the family. To raise a child, whether it be a boy or a girl, both parents are needed. If one of the parents is absent, this can significantly affect the normal development of the child: it will violate the self-determination of itself as a boy or girl (gender identity) and so on. Sometimes circumstances are such that little depends on us. In this case, you should try to compensate for the absence of one of the parents. It is desirable that both in the child’s life be present at least until they reach 5-7 years of age. If there is no such possibility, he should ensure his communication with friends of the family, from whom he could take an example.
For education, the order of the birth of children in the family is also important. For example, in the case of the eldest one, it should be borne in mind that it is he who needs parental love more than anyone else, he is more prone to jealousy than other children. He needs to be condescending, because as an older child he really, by virtue of circumstances, had a harder time.
The youngest in its qualities is the exact opposite of the first-born. He is spoiled and not independent, indecisive. This should be taken into account, every day solving educational problems.
The education of twins should be reduced to the search for personality. For example, you should not dress children in the same clothes. At least all the time.
Encourage mutual support in children, always emphasize that in this world only they have each other. This will reduce jealousy, resentment and improve the atmosphere in the family.
I myself. Another facet of the problem of how to raise children is the issue of independence. This quality is one of the main advantages of modern man. But, unfortunately, many parents make this mistake: at a time when a child is psychologically ready to try, prove himself, imitate adults to feel independent, they often stop these attempts without noticing it. And all because while the child is trying, he makes a bunch of mistakes (crumbles, litter, spills), and everything has to be redone for him. And from his help more problems. But despite this, one should not give in to the desire to drive off his child (take away a rag when he tries to clean the floor, smearing dirt). Patiently show your child how to do it right.
How to raise children? This task, perhaps the most difficult in our life, requires a lot of effort, sacrifice and constant attention to our children. The main thing in education is to give your child love, to teach you how to get out of difficult situations, to value yourself and achieve high goals.