All caring and loving parents will care about the isolation of their baby. And not in vain. The fact that the child does not want to communicate with children can be a sign of a serious problem, which in the future will affect the formation of his personality and character. However, there is another version of closed behavior. The reason for non-communicability may be in the features of the temperament of the child. Not every parent is able to determine in which particular case the baby needs support. Therefore, it is necessary to understand the reasons that force a child to reject communication with peers.
The problem of children's isolation
Technological advances have led many people to pay more attention to their gadgets instead of talking to friends and family. That is why modern children are much more shy of the previous generation. A couple of decades ago, kids frolic in the yards, played with dolls, catch-ups and many other games. Now the children see that parents have only one conversation at breakfast, and the rest of the time they are occupied by laptops and phones.
At first, adults try to distract their child with cartoons, including them at any time of the day, and then they ask: "They are not friends with the child, what to do and how to change it?" You need to communicate more with the baby, playing games with him that will improve his communication skills.
Definition of closure
Closure is not a manifestation of a mental illness. This is just the triggering of the protective mechanism, which manifests itself in those situations when the child wants to protect his small world from external problems. Closure is rarely inherited. This character trait is acquired. Most often, the child does not want to communicate with children because of stressful situations that greatly influenced his perception.
They could happen in kindergarten, at home or on the street, at the time of games with peers. Many parents note that the baby can become shy and withdrawn quite sharply. Yesterday he was active and sociable, but today the child does not want to communicate with other children and rejects their attempts to make friends. This once again confirms the fact that isolation is a signal to parents that something worries the baby.
What leads to constriction and unwillingness to communicate
Handing the tablet to the child in order to distract him with the next viewing of the cartoon, adults, without realizing it, develop closeness and unwillingness to communicate with their peers in it. Such a lifestyle makes it clear to the baby that communicating with someone is a waste of time. It is much better to sit on the sidelines and go about your business. Especially when there are such interesting games on the phone, and funny cartoons on the tablet that perfectly distract from real life. Due to the availability of gadgets, the child does not want to communicate with children and prefers privacy. Therefore, parents should limit their use of a tablet or smartphone.
Symptoms of shyness
Recognizing a closed child is quite simple. Excessive shyness and closeness are manifested in the following:
- The child does not like to talk. He becomes quiet and practically does not contact anyone. If he has to turn to someone, he does it very quietly or in a whisper.
- The child does not want to communicate with peers. This can occur when moving to a new kindergarten, preparatory group or school. It is difficult for him to communicate with children on a new playground, he increasingly prefers collective games to independently dig in the sandbox.
- He never expresses his own opinion, always and in all respects obeys his parents and never rebels. A quiet and calm child may seem ideal for many adults, because of this, few people notice that his tightness and isolation go beyond permissible boundaries.
- The child does not know how to be friends. This should alert parents, because it is in childhood that it is common for a person to be as friendly and disposed to communicate.
- He is attracted to strange hobbies. For example, instead of asking all the children for a kitten or puppy, the child dreams of a spider or snake.
- Increased emotionality. Any failure makes him shed tears.
All these symptoms should tell parents that the baby needs their help and support. Having defined them, you should not attack the child with questions about why he is behaving this way. You need to try to delicately enter into confidence in him, talking on abstract topics.
Unwillingness to communicate and temperament of the child
Many parents try to justify the isolation of the baby with his innate temperament. Of course, such an opinion may well be true. However, even in this case, you need to carefully understand what exactly he feels when he does not want to communicate.
The following types of temperament exist:
- Sanguine.
- Choleric.
- Phlegmatic.
- Melancholy.
In addition to these types, there is another important factor that affects the determination of the personality of everyone. It can be determined by the way in which people tend to replenish mental energy reserves. For example, extroverts need to communicate with other people. They cannot live without their energy and often lose heart when they have to be alone for a long time. Introverts are a completely different type of people. They replenish energy from themselves. Only in seclusion, they gain mental strength.
Many parents believe that the isolation of the child is a manifestation of introversion of temperament. To understand whether this is true, you need to learn to distinguish a real introvert from a shy child.
How to identify a true introvert
Children who are introverts from birth have no problems with self-esteem. They communicate quite easily with peers, but instead of this communication they will always prefer privacy. An introvert child is always confident in himself, easily finds a common language with other children, but at the same time he is not looking for new friends and acquaintances. Only having met the most worthy object for friendship, he will meet him and deign to meet. Just by intriguing the introvert, you can find an approach to it and get into the number of close people. Parents of such a baby will not have to wonder: "How to teach a child to be friends?" Therefore, one should not justify the constraint and isolation of temperament.
Shy and closed introvert
Other babies may have signs of introversion in their temperament, but also have increased shyness and isolation. Such children are afraid of large crowds, worry when they are addressed, and also begin to get lost in public places. Despite the fact that introversion is an inborn predisposition that cannot be corrected, isolation can be overcome. You can’t leave everything as it is. If you do not help the child in his communication problems, it can harm his future. Growing up, it becomes increasingly difficult for a person to overcome his fears and complexes. Therefore, parents should help the baby cope with this in childhood. In addition to them, there will be no one to do this.
Is child closure a norm or a deviation?
When a child does not want to communicate with children, many parents consider this to be ordinary shyness, which the baby will outgrow on his own. Nevertheless, child psychologists consider excessive isolation a serious drawback that could negatively affect the child in the future.
Everyone is prone to shyness. However, there is a difference between its manifestation in individual cases (in the doctor’s office, on a date, during a speech in public) or in a situation where a person suffers from it constantly. For example, if a child is afraid to once again approach his peers in order to play or talk, it is necessary to help the child overcome the discomfort and fear of communication.
The consequences of shyness and reluctance to communicate
Closure of a child can cause the following problems:
- The kid will be criticized by other children. Too shy always become the subject of attacks and ridicule of peers.
- Because the child will constantly feel anxiety and excitement, chronic nervousness and depression may develop.
- It will be much more difficult for a closed baby to realize his potential and show talents. As you grow older, shyness will become even more severe and pronounced. This will not allow a person to achieve success in any industry.
- Personal problems may occur. Closed people most often remain lonely throughout their lives, they do not marry and do not have children.
It is because of these reasons that everything must be done to help the child overcome the psychological discomfort associated with the reluctance to communicate with other children.
The influence of character on isolation
Character types also affect a child’s shyness. If he prefers quiet games to noisy from early childhood, most likely, this is just a manifestation of his personal preferences. In this case, you can not force the child to communicate with peers through force, this will violate his psychological comfort. We need to try to get him as interested as possible in these games so that he himself wants to participate in them. You can invite a couple of his friends home to make it easier for him to show his social skills in a comfortable environment. It will also help parents determine why the children are not friends with their child.
It is completely different to act if, by type of character, the baby is lively, energetic and active, but due to some circumstances has changed in behavior. In this case, each responsible and loving parent should find out the reason why the child does not want to play with other children. You need to gently and delicately communicate with him. Perhaps he himself will talk about what upset him. Most likely, the kid had a fight with one of his friends and is offended by them. Not wanting to communicate with them, he only shows his character, making it clear to the offenders that they did wrong to him.
Advice from child psychologists
Most experts advise parents of closed children to follow the following line of behavior:
- Do not tell the child that he has problems. Otherwise, this will lead to the development of complexes.
- It is necessary to evaluate the situation in the family in order to make sure that the reason for isolation is not in it.
- Praise your child for expressing their own opinions. Need to ask his advice, share important family topics. He should feel like a full member of a society whose opinion is taken into account and appreciated.
- It is necessary, without imposing, to try to improve the baby's communication skills. Invite his peers home, help the child join the new team.
- Take a closer look at the behavior and clothes of the baby. When wondering why children do not want to play with a child, you need to make sure that he does not have strong differences that set him apart too much. This may be an unusual style of dress or his speech. In this case, it is necessary to eliminate the cause that causes the baby to have difficulty communicating and repels other children.
In addition to the above recommendations, in some cases, doctors prescribe children taking medications that improve cognitive abilities, as well as reduce the level of anxiety and feelings of the child.