Almost every parent faced this problem: if a child steals, what should I do? The help of a psychologist will be very helpful. To combat child theft, you should first find out why the child does this. The causes of theft are as diverse as the causes, such as a runny nose or cough. In each case, the correct means of "treatment" should be chosen so as not to aggravate the problem and not to fix vicious trends.
What is theft
In ancient Russia, the tatma was called a man who hunts thefts. Accordingly, "tatba" in translation into modern Russian means "theft." It is clear that in ancient times, and now Tati-thieves did not use and do not enjoy respect: forcible, often secret, appropriation of someone else's good is considered immoral and legal.
With distrust, people were even members of the family of a thief.
This word has many synonyms. To steal means to rob, steal, grab, plunder, appropriate. All these concepts in the minds of the injured person are associated with injustice, resentment, protest, the desire to punish Lidedey.
Why does it exist
There are many reasons why people go to stealing, some of them cause even understanding and sympathy among others. For example, a hungry person can steal food in a store because there is no money to buy it, and he is not able to earn it due to illness or due to age. The hope of receiving money for the treatment of a sick relative pushes others to a desperate attempt to rob an ATM.
Categorical condemnation is caused by theft because of greed, unwillingness to work, envy of someone else's material well-being, out of revenge, hatred, selfishness, and impunity. Another (but not so obvious) reason lies in the incorrect moral attitudes received by the child in a dysfunctional family, where theft is considered a normal way to live comfortably. What if the child began to steal money? First, think about whether relations in his family can be called quite warm and trusting.
Parents, be careful!
Not all thieves were brought up in immoral families. Parents of many of them were not able to notice in time the first deviations in the behavior of the child, which were the forerunners of theft in adulthood.
Studies by professors T. Moffit and A. Caspi (Duke University of North Carolina) convincingly prove that completely harmless childhood traits and habits in the future translate into antisocial behavior, including lying, a tendency to steal, and protest behavior towards public rules and regulations.
Hysteria, inability or unwillingness to analyze the consequences of their behavior and actions are signs of a future criminal. More prosperous are those children who were taught from an early age self-control and responsibility.
Why are kids stealing
Younger preschoolers have not formed an idea of honesty as a norm of behavior in society. They lack the ability to tame momentary impulses of their own “want”. The baby does not yet have a clear idea that everything around - at home, in the store, in kindergarten, on the street - is divided into “mine” and “not mine”, so it’s completely natural for a child under 5 to take something without permission . Impulsiveness pushes him to the momentary acquisition of the thing he likes, and the violent reaction of adults to this is obscure.
Among other reasons for the theft of babies are the pedagogical mistakes of adults:
- their indifference and indifference to child theft: "Growing up - he will understand ...";
- an expression of admiration, approval of quick wit, resourcefulness: "Dexterously stole - no one even noticed!";
- an excessively harsh reaction - physical punishment, insults, after which the child begins to act consciously and more sophisticatedly. Theft is becoming a form of protest against parental cruelty.
What control should be, what to do if a child steals in a store, if he has enough toys, favorite sweets and chocolates? An unpleasant discovery for parents may be that their baby began to steal at home or in stores because other children in the yard require him to bring money or goodies, threatening reprisal.
What to do to parents
First of all, do not panic or torment yourself with thoughts about the dark future of the child, do not blame yourself for his poor education. In the psychological literature for parents, you can find out what to do if the child begins to steal. First of all, find out the reasons for this behavior and explain (possibly more than once) why this should not be done in the future. A calm, reasonable tone of conversation is much more effective than a noisy scandal with a child.
If he brought someone else's toy or thing, you must:
- be sure to find out if it was taken without the permission of the owner;
- take it to the owner with the baby;
- in the absence of other persons, to apologize and prompt him to do it too, but without threats, violence, insults.
What if a child steals money, should he be punished? In the event of repeated theft, you can deprive for a while his beloved dishes, toys, buying sweets for a certain period of time, calmly but firmly explain that further theft is categorically unacceptable.
Necessarily and purposefully, parents should form the child’s ability to control their own desires and actions, teach prudence and restraint. You can use relevant literary works, cartoons, play puppet shows with a subsequent analysis of the behavior and feelings of the characters.
When parents doubt the correctness of their actions or simply do not know what to do, if the child began to steal, then you should contact a psychologist for help.
Reasons for Teenage Theft
The strongest blow to parental self-esteem is the discovery that their intelligent and cultured teenage child steals at home or at school, thus trades in shops and in the market. If a child steals money, what should I do? Such thinking for adults is one of the most burning. The very first thing is to understand the causes of this phenomenon:
- Parents often consider the teenager’s desire to have some thing to be trifling and do not consider it necessary to spend money on its purchase; they sharply demonstrate this: the teenager, avoiding unnecessary conversations, steals this thing in the store or money for its purchase.
- What if a child steals money at home? It is worth suspecting addiction to smoking or alcohol, drugs, gambling.
- A bad and dangerous company requiring cash or other “contributions”.
- Attempts by theft and spending on the needs of friends to establish themselves as an extraordinary person in a group of peers or older people.
- Noble desire to provide someone with financial assistance.
The question of what to do if a child steals is relevant not only for low-income families, but also for those in which there are no material problems. Most often, teens steal in families where there is no warm, trusting relationship, there is a lack of parental attention, then theft becomes a way for a teenager to declare himself as a person.
Prevention of teenage theft
What if a child steals at home, steals in a store or elsewhere? This is a problem for all family members. This is also an occasion to reconsider their relationship with him: how trustworthy they are, respectful, whether the adolescent has the opportunity to express his attitude to something, whether he is subjected to excessive or insufficient custody. His lack of life experience and complete dependence on adults is not a reason to consider him stupid and not entitled to his own inner life and feelings.
So what if your child is stealing?
- Parents must, from an early age, form a concept in their child that he does not have the right to dispose of things at his own discretion, even if he uses them: take them without permission, and take them home. Respect for his property should be demonstrated, permission to use his things should be requested.
- The lack of new impressions, sensations can push them to search for thefts. Therefore, the organization of rich leisure time is one of the ways to prevent theft in adolescents (circles, hobby sections, excursions and trips, family trips, family holidays). But also involving the teenager in the discussion and solving serious life problems (for example, repairing an apartment or finding opportunities to help a sick relative) makes him significant in his own eyes. The responsibility of an adult for his life and for those around him begins to form from 6-7 years of age with responsibility for his things, for the order in his room, for the fish and the kitten.
- Children and adolescents should learn from adults about the invisible side of human life - about the feelings that a person may experience in various situations (for example, when he was robbed). A lively description and analysis of one’s own behavior in the past, experiences in various, including unsightly, situations will make a teenager much more impressed than a long notation about the inadmissibility of theft. Confession in your past mistakes is also a valuable signal of confidence in the teenager: "I know you will understand and not repeat my mistakes."
- Adults noticed an unusual behavior of a teenager and asked: "If a child steals, what should I do?" The advice of a psychologist will certainly concern the organization of tactful monitoring of his behavior outside the home - this is an obligatory part of the prevention of teenage offenses, including theft. With whom is he friends, with whom he feels hostile, and for what reason, what interests do children relate to, how do they spend leisure time, what rules are maintained within the group, what forms of behavior are welcome? Are there any disturbing changes in his behavior after meeting with friends (for example, nervousness, aggressiveness, isolation)? Does he need advice, help? When clarifying these issues, the child should feel a sincere interest in his affairs, and not an adult's desire to control his every step.
As far as a person's ideas about honesty are formed, he will be so honest, so parents should be largely concerned about the ethical side of raising a teenager. Moreover, a personal example of a mother and father is the most significant argument for him in a situation of choosing his own line of behavior.
Money: give to a child or not give?
Sooner or later, this problem arises in every family, especially where parents are puzzled to think: "What if the child steals money?" But first you need to find out why he does it, what his own needs he wants to satisfy. A small child can steal money at home, not realizing its true value and only hearing adults talking about the need to earn, earn, save, spend. From 5-6 years old, he begins to comprehend their meaning and the rules of competent use, if parents try to teach him this. He should be present, and then participate in the discussion of the family budget, upcoming costs, ways of accounting and economical spending of money.
At the age of 6-7 years, the child is quite capable of correctly managing small pocket money - about 50 rubles. in Week. Adults must agree among themselves when and how much will be given to him. In this case, one should discuss with him what the money will be spent on, and then demand a report, give advice on how to dispose of it more correctly.
With age, the amount issued should be increased to a reasonable extent. From about 9 years old, you can teach a child to save money to buy the desired thing, saving a small part of the received pocket money. He must know the prices of products in the store, be able to calculate the estimated and incurred expenses, change.
With the consent of the teenager, pocket money can be given to him not once a week, but once a month, for example, on the day of his father’s salary. This will make him spend money economically, teach him how to plan expenses, for example, for a friend's birthday present.
A teenager can be instructed to keep track of family financial receipts and payments so that he learns that there are mandatory, urgent, and most important expenses for utilities, medicine, and transportation. Other expenses can be reduced or eliminated altogether, some should save money (for a summer trip to the sea). These financial lessons will teach the child to restrain his desires, take into account the needs and desires of other family members and at some point prevent him from stealing.
Is he a kleptomaniac?
This frightening word comes to mind for parents who are desperate in the fight against child lies and theft, when they don’t know what to do if the child steals at home, steals in the store, began to steal money from neighbors ...
However, kleptomania is a mental illness that is quite rare - in about 5% of thieves. Its reasons have not yet been identified, but the signs are clearly defined:
- A kleptomaniac often steals and alone not out of need for something, but in order to get specific experiences from the very process of preparing and carrying out the theft of someone else. He understands intellectually that he is committing a bad thing, but is unable to stop, just as he cannot refrain from the next dose of an addict or an alcoholic, a smoker.
- The kleptomaniac is most often indifferent to stolen things: if he hasn’t used it, he can hide it and forget it, throw it away, give it to someone, destroy it.
- The scandals that parents roll up support the state of pleasure from perfect theft: again the stormy emotions that he simply enjoys.
- In relations with others, who sooner or later begin to suspect a chronic thief, the child has distrust, mutual aggression. Because of this, he feels depressed, rejected ... and again goes to theft.
If you suspect that the child is suffering from kleptomania, you should seek the help of a psychologist: he will tell you what to do if the child steals constantly and does not give in to any measures of influence. Kleptomania is treated with medication and psychocorrectional methods after a thorough examination by specialists.
How will a psychologist help
Parents, often not wanting to take dirty linen out of the hut and fearing neighboring gossip, alone, for a long time and quite unsuccessfully struggle with child theft. The result - the problem does not disappear, but goes deeper and may appear sooner or later in an even more sophisticated form. This means that if a child steals and adults do not know what to do with this, the advice of a psychologist will be very helpful.
Using special techniques, the specialist will try to identify the causes of theft in the child and give specific advice on how to address them. They can concern both the correction of his behavior and the psychological family climate. Obviously, if a child steals, then the whole family needs the help of a psychologist. In individual and group classes, adults will learn to avoid situations that provoke child theft, to properly respond to its manifestations.
If signs of kleptomania are identified, the psychologist will give recommendations to seek advice from a psychiatrist, neurologist to resolve the issue of the need for her treatment.