Children who have a good self-esteem from an early age, as a rule, reach great heights in life. How to increase self-esteem for a child? It is simply necessary from the very beginning of the educational process to instill such qualities that then an adult can stay in the wave of competition in adult life both at work and in personal relationships.
How to increase self-esteem for a child at 6 years old? Do not force him to follow clear rules, it is necessary that he understand their meaning and begin to adhere to them on his own. A child should initially believe in his own strength, fulfill himself and try to make any action better than others.
Parent fault?
Most often, parents do not try to find a middle ground in the manner of education and adhere to one of two options. They either constantly perform all the actions of the baby instead of him and at the same time report that he will not succeed. Or they are forced to do some work of the child on their own, which is simply not yet within his power.
In the first case, the baby, in the end, will believe the words of adults and conclude that he can not do anything. And in the second case, the baby will get tired of the failure of his actions and will cease to show initiative.
In most cases, only adults are to blame for the poor self-esteem of the child. Therefore, you need to think before making a child inappropriate remark or even insult him.
Reasons for uncertainty
A child who is brought up with love will certainly appreciate his skills, health and the people around him. Such qualities will be very useful to him in his future profession. A girl with normal self-esteem will never allow herself to be offended at an early age, and then she will not tolerate humiliation in marriage in adulthood.
Children with good self-esteem constantly want to achieve more in all areas of their lives. They study well, attend various sections and are engaged in self-education. But often parents themselves reduce their own self-esteem with their own hands.
Below are a few situations that are quite common in family relationships and lead to a decrease in self-esteem in children:
- "You yourself can’t do anything." Moms often from the first years of a child’s life even make feasible actions instead of their child. She does not allow him to open a pack of juice, fearing that he will get dirty. He does homework instead of his son so that he does not receive a deuce. Thus, a sense of independence is suppressed and the child no longer tries to do anything by himself.
- "Masha knows more letters than you." You can never compare your child with others. Even if a comparison is made with children in the same family. All kids are individual, with their own temperament and abilities. Someone learned letters faster, while another already knows how to play chess, while the third very quickly removes toys. Do not compare school grades with other classmates. How to increase self-esteem for a child? Even if a child brought a troika - he deserved it. This, of course, should not be encouraged, but it is not worth humiliating a child. The main thing is that in the future the child should choose his life direction correctly and follow it.
- "You are a disgusting child." This is another gross mistake of parents in raising children. They evaluate not his bad actions, but his personality. In other countries, such phrases are prohibited for their children. Moms tell them, making comments: "Such a good boy did such a disgusting thing." This is a very correct approach to education. Especially often you can hear such a phrase from the lips of Jewish parents. Maybe that's why there are a lot of successful people among the representatives of this nation?
These errors lead to the humiliation of the child as an individual. He gradually resigns himself to posing questions and ceases to strive for the best. A calm existence without unnecessary attempts at self-realization will become a better way of life in the future.
A few more mistakes
There are also reverse situations when parents do not allow self-esteem to rise and prevent such attempts of the child in the bud:
- "Do like everyone else, and do not lean out." This relic in education lasts from Soviet times. The child is equated with everyone and is not allowed to show him personal qualities. Previously, it struck everyone in the head that everyone should be the same. This is a very wrong position. In our time, the time has come for competition, which means that only the strongest win in it. How to increase self-esteem for a child? If the boy has a craving for dancing, then you should not send him to the sport, like everyone else. Maybe in time he will become a champion in ballroom dancing or a world-famous ballerun.
- Indifference. Very often, parents in the swiftness of life flow cease to notice the small successes that the child makes. The maximum that the baby can hear is “Well done”. But he wants to be appreciated by his painted portrait or stuck figure from plasticine. Indeed, in early childhood, most often parents become the only spectators and listeners of the baby. Only they can support him and appreciate it.
- The rejection of appearance. Self-esteem can be destroyed in an instant, if at least once "walk" on the defects of the child's appearance. Most often, the words of adults close people are perceived as true truth. In no case should you tell your teenage daughter that she has recovered greatly. You need to buy a gym membership and offer to go there together or do a couple of morning runs. Very often, the comments that were made to the child in childhood about his appearance, develop in the future into very strong complexes.
- Excessive rigor. Often, parents for any reason do not miss the opportunity to punish a child for any innocent Sami offense. Therefore, the child subsequently is afraid to perform an extra action so as not to receive a comment. Subsequently, a very insecure adult grows out of such a child.
It is very important to always keep abreast and feel the mood of your child. The result of educational conversations or actions will depend on this. When a child is very excited, you should not mentally “finish” him even more. Let it calm down a bit and then the notations will be more productive.
It is worth noting that remarks and punishments in plain sight of other adults and children also significantly reduce self-esteem. It is better to understand all the mistakes and misconduct at home, and not in a public place.
And in the circle of the child’s friends it’s generally not worth making loud remarks, otherwise he may also lose friends, which leads not only to a decrease in self-esteem, but also possible depression.
Common mistakes: how to raise a child’s self-esteem at the age of 10?
Very often, adults who could not realize themselves in life begin to "recoup" on their own children. For example, a mother who could not become an artist actively begins to give her daughter to drawing classes and does not even notice that she absolutely has no talent and desire to develop further in this direction.
It should be clearly understood that the child is a separate person, not a repetition of you. Perhaps the child wants to study foreign languages, but he is not given a chance to turn around in this direction. As a result, it turns out that the daughter will not become an artist and in the field of translators will not be able to assert herself.
As a result, he is not a self-fulfilling person with a bunch of complexes and with an unfulfilled dream. How to increase self-esteem for a child in 13-15 years old? Everyone understands that such actions are far from evil, but it is worthwhile to calm down your ambitions in time and let the child choose his own life path.
Praise your child!
How to increase self-esteem and confidence in a child of any age? A very important rule that parents most often forget about is the praise of their child. And not for beautiful clothes or a smile, but for deeds. He helped you pack things up, felt sorry for the kitten in the yard, brought a neighbor's bag - all these actions deserve respect and praise.
There is an opinion that due to unnecessary attention, a child can be spoiled. Then parents generally forget about their functions - the main evaluator of the actions of the baby. If a child is constantly left without praise after his positive actions, he eventually ceases to do them.
How to increase self-esteem for a child at 5 years old? This age is very controversial regarding the understanding by the child of the consequences of their actions. Therefore, it is necessary to feel the measure in the number of comments made to him in one day. If you constantly tell the child about his shortcomings in behavior, then he will get completely confused and get out of control.
A few more rules: how to raise self-esteem for a child at 7 years old?
There are several tips to help answer the question of how to increase a child’s self-esteem:
- Starting from an early age, you need to share your personal thoughts with your baby. In this case, he will feel himself an important part of the family. For example, before a trip to grandmother, you can choose her a gift together or discuss during a walk which store we will go to first. And, of course, you need to listen to his opinion. Otherwise, the significance of children's opinions in the family will not be proven.
- Request for help. You must stop thinking that the child is too small to do simple housework. For example, at 7-8 years old you can easily vacuum the floor or water the flowers. And at 13, a teenager can easily cook dinner not only for himself, but for the whole family. You need to let go of your hyper-custody and understand that children are growing, and can do a lot on their own.
- Many parents are unhappy when a boy cannot protect himself in contentious situations. It is not necessary to teach the child the first to attack, but standing up for his interests in certain situations would not hurt. For these purposes, sports qualities would help, so the sections will be an excellent solution to the problem. Just understand clearly that you should not expect quick results.
- Relive all the difficulties together. A lot of children with great bitterness perceive any even the smallest loss. It is very important to tell that without such situations there can be no major victories. The child must understand that the path to success is often quite difficult, and it is necessary to go through many tests to achieve your goals. Thus, children gain confidence in themselves, and attempts that result in failures are quickly forgotten.
Many parents underestimate the talents of their children. When escorting a child to school, he must definitely wish him luck and say that he will surely cope with all the tasks. Thus, adults program children on successful actions.
And if you constantly say that the son is as loser as his father, then you can not be surprised at poor performance in school. Children often very sensitively distinguish between sincerity and falsehood. It is necessary to truly believe in your child, even if, at a subconscious level, parents understand that he is weaker than others. From such faith, the child becomes stronger at a subconscious level. So he can acquire unexpected positive qualities for himself.
Proper help
Often, adults do not adhere to the golden mean, even in the simplest occupation - homework. They either completely fulfill it instead of children or leave their child alone with unsolvable tasks.
How to raise self-esteem for a child at 9 years old? It is necessary to carry out such tasks together, but do not immediately say the answer in order to save your time, but push the child in the right direction and then the decision will come to the child independently.
It is very important to offer your help, not to impose it. The child must ask for help himself, then he will feel your support in controversial issues in the future. It is also possible to raise self-esteem for a child at 10 years old in this way.
Complexes about the appearance
Children's self-esteem very often suffers due to any deficiencies in the body or speech. Therefore, parents should see the problem on time and try to solve it. Otherwise, complexes will develop in the future that even the most experienced psychologist may not be able to handle.
How to increase self-esteem for a child at 12 years old? It is necessary to talk with the child about his unrest. For example, if a child is suffering from excess weight, then along with him, get used to proper nutrition and exercise. The problem of protruding ears in a girl can be solved with the help of a hairstyle, and with a burry speech - contact a speech therapist.
If the problem cannot be solved, then it is necessary to assure the child that he is the best and most beautiful, despite his flaws. Thus, a strong, versatile personality will grow out of an insecure and notorious child.
Do not overwhelm!
It is worth remembering that with improper upbringing, you can grow a proud narcissus. Therefore, praise must be very careful. It is not necessary with every simple action of his child to fill him with kisses and honors.
In this case, the child will not be able to fragment the significance of his actions. In the team it is forbidden to allow one participant to commit acts that are prohibited to others.
It is necessary to compliment the child, but with regard to appearance, such words should not be excessively frequent. A child from an early age should feel the limits of what is permitted and stop in time in his wrong actions in order to avoid the prescribed punishment.
Parents should show the child that he is not the head of the family, but his opinion is expensive and taken into account. First of all, he is a child, and must respect the elders and listen to their opinion.
conclusions
Self-esteem, first of all, is formed in the family where the child lives. Success in all areas of life in the future will depend on the degree of its development. It is in the power of the parents to prepare the child for the future adult life.
Many successful people could not reach their heights if they knew that this was impossible. How to increase self-esteem for a child at 13? First of all, you need to love your child, listen to his opinion. In this case, he will open his wings and fly with confidence in life. Only confident people can achieve all their goals.
All these rules will help to understand how to raise self-esteem for your child. Then peace and tranquility will reign in the family. Parents will be sure that the heir will become a successful person in the future, and even if some goals are not achieved, then a big tragedy in the family will not happen.