This article is intended for parents who love their child. It often happens that native people cannot find mutual understanding, especially if there is a generational conflict. It was with the aim of improving relations with his child, the authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish published a famous book. So we learn what it is about, and what exactly the authors suggest.
A bit about writers
The authors of this bestseller are two women, experts in communicating with children. Adele Faber - a famous psychologist and teacher, Elaine Mazlish - her good friend and associate. They have their own families, and each of them has three children. However, upbringing almost does not bring difficulties when a mother can exert the right influence not only on her family, but also share tips with other parents. Having such a wealth of experience, the writers decided that the book would be based only on personal experience. The main component of this bestseller is a description of life situations that happened to them.
Content
The book provides our attention with a kind of guide on how to talk so that children listen. Simply, this literature teaches proper communication with your own child. Here you will not find the boring theoretical aspect, only a positive approach and incidents taken from personal experience. The authors by their own example show how to act in a given situation. Women urge not to forget that your child is also an individual and requires an individual approach to him. Also, a book on how to talk so that children listen, teaches the correct formulation of speech and maintaining the parent's self-control in any, even in a conflict situation.
Book format
The bestseller has been translated into several languages and presented not only in print but also in audio format. The writers also gave training seminars, and subsequently the book included some communication stories told by parents who attended classes. The author’s arsenal has more than one book on child psychology. Their literature covers the rules of conduct with children of different ages, as well as with adolescents, brothers and sisters. And finally, there is a separate copy, especially for parents. Books can be found freely available on the Internet, as well as in any bookstore. Their circulation is quite high.
Practical advice from the authors
As it has already become known, the book “How to Speak for Children to Listen ...” presents various situations from life and gives advice on how to act. Let us try to formulate the main content in short words. Consider the basic “commandments” of good parents.
1. Give the children the right to choose
This approach will allow the child to learn to control his life, as well as become independent. It is not necessary to let him choose all of everything. It is enough to provide a couple of options that will suit both you and the child.
2. Respect your efforts and efforts.
No need to tell the baby that what he does is easy. We use this phrase for encouragement and support, but the child perceives everything differently. If you can’t complete the task, you get a feeling of frustration due to defeat in an easy matter. Therefore, just praise and guide the baby, regardless of the complexity of the task.
3. Do not “fall asleep” with questions
Confidence that when asking a child about an object or process, you heat up his interest is a common mistake of many parents. Most children in this situation prefer to simply brush aside their parents. Wait until the child himself wants to talk with you. You can even just show interest and listen silently. Then everything will become known and understandable.
4. Do not rush to answer
Sooner or later, your child will come to an age when questions from his lips pour in: “Why,” “How,” “Where,” and many others. But do not rush, after the next word, fleetingly pick up the answer and explanation. Let your child think a little about the question and find the answer or solution themselves. Such an action will bring more benefits and allow thinking to develop better.
5. Search for information outside the home
It is important to teach the child that outside the apartment there are also a lot of things that will help him in understanding the world. Explain that you can and should apply not only to parents, but also to various other sources and resources.
6. Do not take away hope
When a child dreams and fantasizes, he receives a lot of new emotions. If we over-guard it and guard every step, we will deprive the children of the experience they need.
Reader Reviews
Having studied Internet resources with a description of the book by readers, we can conclude that the majority of the votes are in favor. The book "How to say that children listen ..." reviews leaves only positive. People believe that this manual should be tabletop for every parent. It contains only instructive moments! The book on how to talk so that children listen makes parents think about their speech and its perception. Here is what the authors write:
We rarely think about how we talk, what we talk about, and even less often what our child feels about it. Few of us put ourselves in his place. Even before I had my own children, I was 100% sure that I knew how to raise them. And how wrong I was ...
Indeed, the authors of the book offer parents to put themselves in the place of their children and feel for themselves the possible options for the development of dialogue. The whole range of emotions from the outside can be caught even in a visual form. In the book on how to talk so that children listen, the dialogs are presented in the form of pictures. You can just look at yourself and everything will become clear.
Most of the readers write that you need to study the book slowly and, preferably, more than once. An important element is the implementation of all the exercises described in the book. After all, everything read will be absorbed in memory gradually. Each time, analyzing the situation, one can find something new and understand what was previously incomprehensible.
Many mothers admit that not all and not always apply tips. The reason is simple - sometimes they get tired, forget, sometimes they take emotions up. But the main thing is to try to learn something from the book "How to Talk, for Children to Listen, and How to Listen, for Children to Speak," to learn how to use it.
In conclusion, we can say that the manual is really important and necessary for those who cannot find a common language with their own child. First of all, the authors urge us to understand it and learn to listen, no matter what. Psychologists call only for sincere praise and respect for children's choices, for the acceptance of his feelings and for the issuance of just fair verdicts. You can’t always be an ideal mother in everything, but you can come close to a model of perfection, which is what the authors of the book try to help about how to talk so that children listen and how to listen so that children speak.