In women, the maternal instinct is laid from birth. In childhood, they show their care and affection for dolls, animals, younger brothers and sisters. Having picked up their child, they instinctively feel all his needs. If we talk about a category such as "a good father," then not every man can be considered such. For the stronger sex, a child is, of course, happiness. However, many may take the role of the pope lightly. Fortunately, everything (and even paternity) can be learned.
Why is it important to be a good father?
In the modern world, it is imperative to be a good father to a son or daughter. Unfortunately, life does not always favor not only adults, but also children. Dad is the main protector who can protect his child from all the injustices and dangers lurking around. In addition, the parent must pass on to his child an invaluable life experience that will help him overcome obstacles on his own.
Who is a good father? First of all, the one who will teach the child to live. It will teach you to distinguish good from bad, right from wrong. Unfortunately, children deprived of fatherly love often turn off the right path, connecting with a bad company, addicted to alcohol and other bad habits. Of course, having a good dad nearby does not at all guarantee a happy fate, but this person will be able to warn and protect his child from mistakes.
What prevents to be a good father?
Unfortunately, men about whom one can say: "He is a good father!" - not so much. Especially when it comes to young dads, who themselves can still be considered children. The main reason is the fear of fatherhood. Marriage and the birth of children appear to the man as the end of a free life. In addition, the child must be held accountable. Therefore, many popes prefer to adhere to the outdated theory that the mother should raise a child.
Another reason that can prevent a man from establishing contact with a child is grandparents and other relatives. The desire to help a young family in raising a child is certainly valuable. Nevertheless, it is worth realizing it only when there is an objective need for it. Otherwise, young parents (and especially fathers) lose their sense of responsibility for their child.
And of course, the psychological atmosphere in the family often affects paternal qualities. Disagreement between husband and wife often affects relationships with the child. But here it is important to understand that a good father is not necessarily the one who lives in the family. This is the person who takes care of the baby and shows interest in him, regardless of life circumstances.
Key Features
Sooner or later, many men begin to think about how to become a better dad and a good father. In this matter, it is important to listen to your inner voice, not relying on generally accepted standards and ideals from the cinema. Nevertheless, there are a number of key characteristics that any parent must meet:
- disinterested love for their children, regardless of life circumstances;
- openness to communication and willingness to share their experiences with children;
- you need to spend as much time as possible with the children, because neither money nor gifts can replace paternal attention;
- perseverance and patience, even if the kids are capricious and refuse to obey;
- you need to be a good example for your children;
- Do not be too serious in dealing with kids, because there should always be a place of fun;
- the ability to provide children with everything necessary for a fulfilling life;
- constant self-improvement and personal growth, which will open up new opportunities not only for the father, but also for children.
How children imagine good fathers
If you do not know how to be a good father, you should not go for advice to adults. Best of all, the children themselves will answer this question. So, kids highlight the following qualities of an ideal dad:
- a man with golden hands who can always fix a toy and repair everything in the house;
- a modern man, not obsessed with conservative views (you should be loyal to all the fashion trends that your children want to follow);
- can always amuse not only the child, but the whole family, and turn any difficulty into a joke;
- believes in the abilities of his children and in every possible way supports them on the path to success;
- First of all, he is not a strict parent, but a loyal and reliable friend whom you can turn to for help even in the most delicate situations;
- Respectfully and reverently treats his wife (even if they have not lived together for a long time);
- can always establish order in the house without resorting to screaming and violence;
- fulfills promises, and also does not give false hopes;
- all his actions are aimed at satisfying the interests and needs of the family;
- can give valuable advice in any situation.
How to become a good father - practical advice
Trying to become a worthy father for their child, many men go to extremes, following the standards and senseless advice of others. Nevertheless, if you are not sure of the correctness of the actions that your heart tells you, it is better to turn to the advice of psychologists who focus on the following points:
- Leave the idea to be the best. The ability to change diapers and assemble a designer is not so important as the ability to create a warm family atmosphere.
- Do not go in cycles in the child. After his appearance, you must continue to live the same as before him. Of course, the baby will make its own adjustments in your life routine, however, you should not deny yourself such pleasures as going to the theater, going on vacation, etc. If you have a good mood, then communication with the child will be much easier.
- Do not shift the entire burden of caring for the child to the mother. At least a couple of times a week, stay alone with the baby, giving his wife personal time for gatherings with friends and shopping. So you can establish personal contact with the crumbs and establish a healthy atmosphere in the family.
- Try to recall your childhood in detail - what you liked and what was missing. Try to create ideal conditions for your child.
- In no case do not resort to assault in the family. Even once stumbled, a good father in the eyes of a child will turn into a family tyrant.
- Never listen to the advice of others (especially if you did not ask someone else's opinion). Every family and every child is unique. Raise children guided by your inner instincts.
- Childhood passes incredibly fast, and therefore appreciate this time, spending every free minute with your child.
Good dad for a boy
In the upbringing of a boy, perhaps the most important role is played by a good father. The characteristics a parent should have are:
- the ability to say "no" to indicate the boundaries of what is permitted;
- the ability to make demands and stimulate their unconditional implementation;
- protecting your son, do not forget that adults in his eyes should remain authority;
- do not make yourself an idol, because you are a simple person who can make mistakes;
- in order to become a good father in the future, a child from childhood must understand the value of the family, which is important to show by personal example;
- be a real man, but do not overdo it.
Nice dad for girls
Many men are interested in how to become a good father for their son. And daughters, in turn, need a loving father. Despite the fact that mothers give primary importance to the education of girls, sometimes dad can play a decisive role in shaping the character and worldview.
The main mission of the father in raising his daughter is to protect against all the hardships of the world. Feeling the support of the pope, girls will be much easier to endure life's difficulties and hardships. In addition, the father is a kind of ideal on which the daughter should rely in choosing her life partner.
How to raise a good father from a husband
Despite the fact that in modern society women work along with the stronger sex, many men are still guided by remnants of the past. Considering the upbringing of children to be the duty of the wife, they practically do not pay attention to their children. Nevertheless, smart women know some tricks, thanks to which you can make a good father out of your spouse:
- despite the fact that a man may not have the necessary skills in dealing with children, you should never remove him, especially if he takes the initiative;
- Assign a number of childcare responsibilities to your husband (for example, bathing, preparing mixtures, lulling, etc.);
- as often as possible leave the father alone with the child (and meanwhile, go to the beauty salon or to the shops).
Sometimes it is a woman who plays a decisive role in shaping a man’s relationship with her children. A wise wife will always understand the psychology of her husband, as well as his fear of meeting and chatting with a little man. In order for the family to be happy and full, a woman should literally “teach” a man to love his child.
How to become a friend for a child
Of course, the father is the authority for the child. Nevertheless, it is friendship between children and parents that can yield much more valuable pedagogical results. So, to become for your child not just a parent, but a faithful companion, it is worth following the following tips:
- respect the child, his desires and life position, because young age and inexperience are not at all signs of stupidity;
- always smile at your child (even if you’re not feeling well, you need to find the strength to do this);
- earn the trust of your son or daughter by listening carefully to stories of his joys and difficulties, and by sharing your concerns;
- if you spend a lot of time at work or on business trips, do not forget to call the children, chatting with them about trifles, as well as about serious things;
- Find a common hobby (sports, creativity and so on).
Father is work
Paternity is hard work. With the advent of a new man in the family, a man has to completely change his lifestyle. The first change is that a significant part of your budget will go specifically for purchases for the baby. But the most important thing is that the father will have to completely reconsider his lifestyle. This is due to the fact that the child should take a positive example from the parents.
conclusions
Every child needs a good father. Signs that can determine the parent's compliance with this title are quite numerous. A man must carry out tremendous work on himself so that the child can be proud of him and take an example from him. This will help you internal instincts, as well as the advice of psychologists.
Of course, all children love their parents, no matter how many flaws they have. But the relationship should not be based only on consanguinity. The love of a child must be earned. A father must first of all become for his son or daughter protection and support, a reliable friend, as well as a breadwinner and a strong foundation for the family.