Many parents want to have large families with at least two children. This is very common where parents were the only children. It is not surprising that now, having started a family, they want to have many kids. In this article we will tell you when it is better to give birth to a second child.
Pregnant again!
Family planning is always a crucial moment. However, it often happens that the decision to have not only a second, but also a first child is delayed indefinitely.
Many couples become parents for the first time unplanned. That is why the question of when to give birth to a second child is now posed after all housing and financial issues have been resolved. However, it is possible to wait a very long time to expect an improvement in living conditions in order to start another little one after that. Meanwhile, the best age for having children is passing. Waiting for the implementation of all your plans and ideas, you increase the risk of having children with pathologies that are directly related to the age of the future parents.
Age aspect
Doctors, to the question of how old it is better to give birth to a second child, answer unanimously. The most optimal for conception and the first, and even more so subsequent tomboys is the age of 30 years.
This age interval is usually analyzed from two points of view. From a biological point of view, it is clear that during this time period, a woman’s body is able to successfully conceive, endure and give birth to healthy children. After all, it is no secret to anyone that over time the body fades, diseases acquired in the process of life take over. The reproductive system is most affected by time.
As for the everyday point of view, it turns out that young mothers have more vitality and energy for raising children. At this age, most likely you can create a strong large family, where there will be no shortage of love, tenderness and care, which is so necessary for children. And all financial and other material issues should be resolved gradually, without delaying the birth of children because of them.
What do we really have?
In modern society, we see the exact opposite picture. People first strive to achieve heights in life, and then, perhaps, have a family and children. Meanwhile, the biological clock is ticking, and at the moment when you decide to have a baby, this may not work out. Therefore, you may not even have time to wonder how much is better to give birth to a second child.
In practice, we see already, one might say, elderly ladies who give birth to children "for themselves." Of course, modern medicine is able to help such women, but there still remain those malformations of children in which medicine is powerless. But the great age of the mother is one of the first reasons for the birth of children with disabilities. Thus, we ourselves consciously destroy our gene pool, passing on to the next generations incurable chromosome and genetic diseases.
Women are diligently trying to suppress their maternal instinct due to various circumstances. Someone does not want to spoil the figure and the young body, delaying the birth of a child for a long time. Others do not dare to have children, because in their life there is no stability, they worry that they can not give anything to their children. Many simply do not have their own angle, and in this case also postpone the birth of the first and subsequent children. However, do not forget that the house is not only a material construction, it is also close and dear people who will always help. And all other questions are a matter of gain.
Age difference between children
So, if all of the above points of doubt did not concern you, you have already become parents once, then it will be quite appropriate to make out the following question, with what difference is it better to give birth to a second child.
There are also different points of view on this issue. Many believe that the best age difference between the first and second child is 1-3 years. In this case, the children will get along better, because the level of their development will be approximately the same. The other side of this issue is that caring for and taking care of children with such a difference in years is quite difficult, since each of them at this age still requires a lot of attention.
Another part of parents is of the opinion that the age difference should be greater. They believe that this will help to avoid many difficulties. Firstly, it will be easier to follow the child when you are in an interesting position, because then you will not need to constantly pick up a peanut. Secondly, the first child may already become an assistant for you, then it will be even easier for you to take care of the second child.
However, psychologists do not recommend hanging care for younger children on older children. No matter what age your first-born are, they are primarily children, and you did not have a second child. It is because of this that in many families there are conflicts and hostility among brothers and sisters. Because children stop receiving love and affection in the volume in which they need it and feel that nobody needs it.
Children relationship
This aspect also needs to be considered when deciding when it is better to give birth to a second child. After all, depending on what the difference between the children will be, their relationships will develop like that. So, let's look at different time intervals between two children.
- 1-2 years. Children born with such a difference are often called the weather. They look like twins, and passersby don’t really notice that there is a difference between the children. Such kids always get along better, because their interests are closest. Usually such children even attend one group in kindergarten and one class at school, this helps them to better adapt among their peers, because they always have a loved one at their side.
- 3-4 years. Doctors believe this difference is most optimal for the female body. However, from the household point of view, such children already have competition for the attention of parents. Their interests, games, modes, food, etc. are also different. At the same time, the oldest child can already help his mother, and the youngest will copy it. This greatly facilitates the life of a modern mother.
- 5-7 years old. At this age, seniors already often go to school, and it’s much easier for mom to bear and give birth to a second child. While on maternity leave, you can help the elder with his studies, and he, in turn, will already be an indispensable assistant for caring for the younger. In addition, young children usually adore their older brothers and sisters, and absorb their behavior like a sponge.
- 8 years or more. The greater the difference between the children, the less common interests remain. For parents, arranging a life with such a difference becomes quite simple, since they have experience in raising children, and older children are completely independent. However, in this situation, there are 2 possible scenarios: either patronizing relationships between children, or, conversely, hostility from elders.
Positive aspects of the birth of a second child
When is it better to give birth to a second child after the first, and is it worth it at all? The first child is all new, unknown. In addition, it is very convenient, because all your parental love can be given to one child. Many parents, in whose families one child, try to give him expensive things and numerous toys. As the baby grows up, parents have more free time that they can spend on themselves. But then why, after many years, many parents think again about a newborn baby?
Another child in the family is the additional efforts and costs, both financial and psychological. Take at least cooking. Now you need to cook separately for the baby, for the older child and for the parents themselves. Realizing all this, parents still decide on their second child. Why?
This question undoubtedly has a number of positive aspects:
- This is a new friend for an older child. Now he will never be bored and lonely.
- An older child will not grow up selfish. Unless, of course, properly raise a child.
- In the future, parents will have another pillar.
- A chance to once again experience the joy of motherhood and fatherhood.
- An opportunity to show the eldest child his life path that he does not remember. Show how his parents cared for him when he was so small.
- Creating the right family model that will be useful in the future for an older child.
- An opportunity to correct mistakes in education.
- Motive for improving the financial well-being of the family.
- A chance to experience joy every day, having a large family.
Health status for the birth of a second baby
The time after which it is better to give birth to a second child depends on the moment of the end of the first pregnancy. If a woman gave birth on her own, then the recommended period from birth to the conception of a second child is 2-3 years.
Pregnancy is a difficult and exhausting period of a woman's life. During the bearing of a child, a woman gives most of her nutrients, vitamins and trace elements to her child. In addition, the muscles, joints and spine of a woman underwent significant stress.
If soon after the end of the first pregnancy, the second occurs, then the child in this case may not receive all the substances he needs. This threatens the life and health of the baby. After all, the mother’s body has not yet recovered, the supply of necessary vitamins and minerals necessary for a successful pregnancy has not been replenished.
After the first birth, a woman should undergo an examination, take measures to improve her health. A recovery period for the body must pass so that you can conceive, bear and give birth to a second child healthy.
Another option for completing the first pregnancy is possible - cesarean section. In this situation, the time of the onset of repeated pregnancy will depend on the condition of the uterine scar. Usually the second child is born also through surgery.
Pregnancy while breastfeeding
There is a myth that when breastfeeding the firstborn, it is impossible to get pregnant with a second child. But this is only a myth, and the presence of weather children in most families confirms this.
Many women do not even have time to think about when it is better to give birth to a second child. Therefore, after completing the first pregnancy, you should definitely consult with your doctor about contraception available to you during lactation.
Remember! Getting pregnant while breastfeeding is just as easy as not during lactation. In addition, the onset of pregnancy interrupts the flow of milk, and your first-born, who now needs it, will be deprived.
Psychological aspect
In addition to the question, how old is better to give birth to a second child, there is also the question of psychological readiness for this. As for the birth of the first-born, the psychological readiness of parents for the birth of a second child plays an extremely important role.
After the birth of the first child, many mothers and fathers want only one thing - to relax. Therefore, it is not worthwhile to have a second baby in such a situation. You are living people, if you need rest, then provide it for yourself. No need to follow in the wake of relatives or large friends. If you are not ready, do not rush to have another child.
Haste in resolving this issue can lead to unpleasant consequences. This is fraught with the birth of a second child with health problems, a disorder in family life with a spouse and a depressed state of the woman herself. You should not put such tests to all members of your family.
How to prepare a senior?
The age at which it is better to give birth to a second child also depends on the psychological readiness of the eldest child to accept the fact that he will no longer be the only one in the family.
In order to prepare the first-born for the appearance of a brother or sister, it is important to let him know that he is also loved and appreciated. You can’t shock the child with this news right away, you need to prepare it gradually.
Pregnancy at 40
When asked how much better it is to give birth to a second child, doctors answer - up to 35 years. But what if you decide on a child only 40?
Infertility can develop by this age, due to stress and illness experienced during life. However, if pregnancy has occurred, then the risk of complications during childbirth and the presence of genetic diseases in the child increases.
It should also be borne in mind that when a child is 15-18 years old, you will be 56-59 years old. Can you give him enough money and time at this age?
Mom at 50: is it possible?
Women after 50 no longer wonder when it is better to give birth to a second child. Since menopause is already approaching at this age, and women cease to be protected, believing that they can no longer conceive at that age. However, this also happens.
The second child at this age does not feel superfluous, even if the parents suddenly die, because the older children come to the rescue, and even, perhaps, grandchildren.
Extremely late birth
Women at 60 years of age may experience "empty nest syndrome", and then they decide on a second child, so as not to feel alone. But here the risk increases not only of the development of pathologies in the child, but also the probability of leaving the baby alone if the woman does not have support in the form of a strong family. At this age, you should pay attention to other forms of motherhood: adoption or guardianship.
When it is better to give birth to a second child - this is a purely individual issue. But you should not expose your body to such stress at the age of 60. Find something to your liking, devote more time to your grandchildren. This will be more useful.