Teenagers have a unique feature - they don’t tend to trust words. They prefer to check everything on their own, which sometimes can cause sad consequences. When a child experiences a crisis of adolescence, he communicates mainly with his peers, and parents are not able to control his actions. In the vast majority of cases, adolescents do not listen to the older generation, but most often do everything in defiance. Sometimes adults do not even know what their child is doing.
The statistics are rather sad: many children aged 12 to 15 years die at construction sites, find themselves under the wheels of cars or drown. They tend to ride on the roofs of trains, cling to buses, jump from a height, do rash things to argue. Thoughtless actions and decisions can affect the future fate of the child, which is why it is very important for parents not to miss the moment of transitional age. In addition, the teenage crisis is very often accompanied by first love, which, as a rule, is characterized by emotionality and sensitivity. Such strong and vivid feelings sometimes lead to cases of suicide (when love is non-reciprocal or when the relationship ceases for some reason). On the part of adults, love at an early age is just a temporary phenomenon, but with the eyes of a child everything looks not just serious, but vital. It seems to the teenager that he will no longer have other love, so if the relationship does not work out (and especially if they are complicated by the betrayal of the partner), then further life loses all meaning.
In addition, in adolescence, there is a formation of personality and social position, which remain for the rest of his life. It is from the transitional period, including the parental attitude to all changes, that the future fate of a person will depend on whether the child will be a leader or will remain an ordinary person.
If we compare the crisis of adolescence with all other crises, then it tends to develop slowly and incrementally. The child gradually becomes naughty and impudent. That is why it is quite difficult for parents to replace the line beyond which a son or daughter from an obedient turns into an uncontrollable one. The first sign is a demonstration of their independence. This phenomenon can manifest itself in completely different ways. The child may not attend school, not spend the night at home, close in his room and even sometimes become a member of secret organizations and sects. All the advice of adults and their recommendations are not for the slightest value. The crisis of adolescents is accompanied by excessive sensitivity. The child is very worried about changes in his body (breaking voice in boys, signs of puberty and problem skin and hair).
That is why the carrot and stick method is simply unacceptable. Insolence and rudeness is an attempt to contact with adults and a kind of disguise of uncertainty and confusion, and this is not as bad as it might seem at first glance. Everything is much worse if the child does not want to talk at all. Even a negative attitude is already some kind of interaction and an attempt to report on your problems. Do not be afraid and worry, the crisis of adolescence is a natural phenomenon that plays an important role in the formation of personality. All parents should be prepared to survive this period of the child’s life, with the least loss. The main weapon is patience, understanding and no force methods, despite the grievances and pain that can be caused by the rash behavior of the child.
If you look from the side of psychology, then a teenager is much more afraid of his condition than his parents. After all, he completely does not understand what is happening to him. An important function is assigned to parents: they, as owners of extensive experience, should be prepared and make maximum efforts so that the teenage crisis becomes the beginning for a successful and happy life in the future. It’s worth preparing from birth. From the first days of life, it is worth building relationships based on love, trust and mutual understanding. You need to be not only a guardian, but also a friend who will always help and tell you. From the first days of the kindergarten and ending with the last day of school, it is worth talking with the child. Postpone the work and all things, because if the key moment is missed, then nothing will be done further. It is necessary to take a direct part in the life of the child. Keep abreast of events and know all his friends. Learn about problems and be sad, learn about victories and rejoice. Do not treat adolescents as children, show that you perceive the child as an independent person with the right to defend his opinion, no matter how wrong it may be. With a sharp change in behavior, do not try to climb with advice, it can only do much harm. It is worth exploring the situation, chatting with friends and only then proceed with actions. Follow the basic rule of parenthood - love the child, whatever it may be, and treat everything with understanding. Do not forget that compromise is the best solution to all conflicts. Only then will all the negative go in a different direction, leading to leadership positions. The crisis of adolescence, with the right approach, can be the period of greatest closeness with a child. You can direct all actions in the right direction, but you should not decide everything yourself. The success of the relationship lies in mutual assistance and mutual understanding.