Very often you can hear recently from parents: "I have a spoiled child! I do not know what to do!". Indeed, for modern society, capricious and naughty children are a huge problem. Especially when the baby is still very small. Not everyone knows how to respond to children's moods and tantrums. And even more so, few people know how to raise a normal child. After all, each person is an individuality. Therefore, there is no exact algorithm for the behavior, only a few tips. So how not to raise a spoiled child? And how can one distinguish an ordinary childish whim from a real hysteria? Now we have to find out.
Signs
Many believe that all children are spoiled and naughty initially. After all, the child only develops and tries to prove himself, to express his own desires and needs. Nevertheless, this assumption is just an excuse not to engage in raising a child. In order to fix the problem in time, you will have to somehow identify it. There are 8 signs of a spoiled child. How to react to the behavior of the baby? More about this later. In the meantime, let's try to find out what indicates the spoiling of the child :
- The kid is trying to achieve the desired here and now. In any way and instantly.
- Unreasonable tantrums. Over time, they become more frequent.
- Annoyed, the child quickly gets bored with new things.
- Ignoring requests from adults. All actions are carried out after a long clarification of the situation and persuasion.
- Greed and an increased sense of ownership.
- The child is trying to expose parents (and adults) in a bad light, to disgrace.
- The requirements are constantly in the spotlight.
- The kid manipulates his parents, requires rewards for obedience.
All this indicates that the child is spoiled. Not all signs will be fully manifested. Enough of some of them. Remember, not all children are spoiled and naughty. Therefore, there are tips to help parents not to raise a whim, as well as properly respond to abnormal behavior.
What is spoiling
But to begin with, it is worthwhile to clearly understand what children's spoiling means. In general, some parents believe that the absence of complete obedience is our term. This is not true.
A spoiled child is just a naughty, ill-bred child. He does not know the rules of conduct, culture, and the word "impossible." Remember that even the baby has an opinion. Therefore, the lack of complete obedience cannot be called spoiled. In general, pay attention to 8 signs of a spoiled child. If they appear regularly in your baby, you will have to think about correcting the situation. Otherwise, small whims and disagreement with your instructions are permissible.
In society
The first situation we will look at is disobedience in public. A very common phenomenon, especially at different playgrounds. Suppose you have a spoiled child (3 years). It is at this age that the kids already clearly understand what is “bad” and what is “good”. Therefore, if the behavior of a child at 3 years old is terrible, it's time to start adjusting the education. But you need to start with yourself. How to react if in a public place the baby has a tantrum, and he does not obey?
There are several options. The first is to talk with the baby. Practice shows that such behavior is useless. After all, a spoiled child does not hear what they say. It’s worth trying, but you don’t really need to hope for success. The second method is to turn around and leave the playground / public place. All "showdowns" regarding behavior should be arranged at home. After all, in public you will not put yourself in the best light. A little whim is just what you need! So he will try to manipulate you.
However, sometimes you can just be an observer. Does your child not obey? Climbing where it is not necessary? Let him see what happens. Warn about danger and let the child do what he wants. Sometimes only this can help. Not quite right, but very effective. Especially when it comes to some actions on the playground.
Houses
If the children are spoiled by their parents, then it is very difficult to deal with the situation. After all, such kids will throw scandals and tantrums everywhere: on the street, at home, in educational institutions. And you need to somehow stop this.
What to do if the child arranges "concerts" at home? Here you can already use several other methods. It is necessary to explain to the child what he is doing wrong. After that, punishment should follow. Let him know that he will be punished for disobedience. True, try not to "go too far." Your reprimands should not be too cruel.
For example, you can deprive a child of cartoons, sweets, or some goodies. Quite effective ways. But they do not work with everyone. Another good tip is to put (or put) a child in a corner. Let in silence and solitude think about his behavior. This method works well if you have a spoiled child (4 years or older). Do not react to all the vagaries and tantrums.
Complete disregard
By the way, the lack of reaction to disobedience is another technique that has been successfully used by parents. To do this, you must have "steel nerves" and a lot, a lot of patience. After all, it’s difficult to endure the onslaught of the child. Especially if he is still in preschool age.
Did the baby have a tantrum? Is he capricious and stubbornly demands something? In response, let him receive complete indifference and ignoring. On some children, this approach works flawlessly. Several times, it’s enough to show that you still insist on your own - and the baby will lose interest in harassing you. True, if you have a small spoiled child (2 years old and younger), then you will also have to fight with a sense of guilt, which children love to “crush”. Have strength and patience. You will need them.
Dialogue
However, sometimes it’s worth, as already mentioned, to talk with the child. This option is suitable for the initial stage of spoiling. And he often works with schoolchildren. Practice shows that you have to deal with very little ones by other methods.
What to say if you have a spoiled child? Try to somehow explain what his mistake in behavior is. After that, you need to find a compromise. For example, very often tantrums in children occur in relation to the observance of the daily routine. Offer some kind of compromise. For example, we go to bed an hour later, but in return you need to wash the dishes / work out / help parents / behave quietly and calmly. In general, each parent himself must know the trip to his child. Arrangement and dialogue is perhaps the best educational method. But it rarely works as it should.
Battering
Remember one more holy rule - no matter what a spoiled child (5 years, 2 years or older) is, beating cannot be used in education. Firstly, this is wrong. Beating a child is the last thing to do. Secondly, this behavior gives rise to even greater disobedience, resentment, and anger in babies. And the son or daughter is likely to begin to do everything to you for evil.
This rule applies to the use of the "father's belt". This method of education takes place, but it is not welcome. Instead of assault, it is permissible to give a small slap on the pope. Not strong. Just so that the child understands that he is doing something wrong.
Unfortunately, sometimes you can’t do without a belt. This option can be considered when the stage of disobedience is already the very last. And in no other way does the baby understand his mistakes. True, to apply the belt, too, need to be dosed, wisely. You can’t whip a lot, only 1-2 times, for educational purposes. Fortunately, after several such executions, the child’s behavior usually changes for the better.
Indulging
In some cases, parents just try to fulfill the wishes of their baby. This is the wrong decision. Indeed, because of this behavior, spoiled children are obtained. Unfortunately, many lack patience. And you just have to do what a spoiled child requires.
Practice shows that once you go on about a child’s case, he’ll completely “get out of hand”. Remember, in no case do not succumb to children's requirements. Especially if they are contrary to your family values and principles. With spoiled children, sometimes you have to be very serious and restrained. Otherwise, you just make more problems yourself. With age, spoiled babies become bolder and bolder. Demands from them are growing, and the form of disobedience is developing exponentially. And to cope with them, if you indulge a child, it will be impossible.
Right attitude
And now a few tips to help not raise a spoiled child. To begin with, all educational activities must be carried out immediately after the birth of the baby. Often it is small children who begin to pamper and surround with enormous care. To fulfill all the whims, vagaries and desires. It is not right. It has already been said - indulging is not permissible.
By the way, this does not mean that you need to immediately not pay attention to the needs of the child. Rather, the opposite. You must find a middle ground that will help meet the needs of the baby without frills. Do not run right over to the child as soon as he demands it. Parents just have to listen to themselves and also feel when their kids really need attention.
Too much custody is not allowed for children. They are also individuals and will manifest themselves from about 2-3 years old. By this period, the baby should know for sure what is "possible" and what is "not." If you will communicate with the child in the right doses, then there will be no tantrums and disobedience. Remember, not a single person will become "silk." He will still somehow show his feelings and emotions. Children do this through tears and tantrums. Be prepared for the fact that such phenomena can not be avoided.
Influence from
You will also have to gain strength in order to somehow "filter" the communication of strangers with your child. Excessive attention creates spoilage. The main mistake of many parents is the constant environment of the baby with loving grandparents. The older generation will very often allow what mothers and fathers forbid. Convincing them otherwise is useless. No, this does not mean that it is necessary to forbid grandparents from communicating with their grandchildren. Just control this process and maybe even write a special set of rules for communication. As a reminder or reminder.
If your baby often stays with the older generation and after this conversation becomes moody and spoiled, it will be necessary for some time to protect loving and kind grandparents from the child. Until you can raise a baby and adjust his behavior. And while your parents themselves do not understand what can be allowed to grandchildren, and what cannot. Again, a memo with rules will help here.
Useful Tips
In general, in order not to raise a spoiled child, you have to deal with him. Pay enough attention to the child, develop him in every possible way, try to satisfy his needs. But no frills. Sometimes a lack of attention from parents can cause the baby to begin to "hysteria." Or, conversely, the impetus for this is excessive custody.
Do not forget that you should set an example for your child. Behave culturally, restraintly and correctly. Talk about behavior, explain what is “good” and what is “bad”. It’s worth starting from a young age.
In some cases, disobedience and tantrums along with spoiling should be treated. In the truest sense of the phrase. If you yourself are not able to cope, it is better to consult a psychologist. A professional will surely find out the cause of the disobedience, and then be able to adjust the behavior of the child. But be prepared that you will have to change your views too.