Parents always want their children to be happy. But sometimes they try too hard to cultivate an ideal. Children are taken to different sections, to circles, classes. There is no time left for kids to walk and relax. In the eternal race for knowledge and success, parents forget to just love their child and listen to his opinion. And if you look at the family through the eyes of a child, what happens?
View from below
Adult ideas about the family are different from children's views. Family through the eyes of a child looks different. The young creature does not always understand that parents need to earn money in order to buy a "vital" toy or go to the next master class.
Children want adults to pay more attention to them, and parents want to relax in a chair after work, and not play catch-up or hide and seek. Different priorities and values distance children from adults. And if the parents do not notice in time that a split has occurred, they will not be able to do anything when the crack turns into an abyss.
How to understand your child? Parents must be psychologists. They are obliged to be interested in the wishes of the baby, and not to impose their opinion on him. The process of education should be individual. You can’t bring up all children according to the pattern, hoping to get the perfect result.
Playful child
All children are born loving and kind beings. Kids are ready for communication and endless games. Children, like sponges, absorb everything that they see and hear. The family through the eyes of a child is a role model. Toddlers want to be like dads and moms. But if adults do not pay enough attention to their offspring, then the child can "get out of hand."
The kid will be naughty for any reason, will often be naughty and indulge. Sometimes a child can behave too aggressively. Parents will scream at the child, try to reason with him. But that will not help. Why?
You must always try to enter the position of the child, to understand the reason for his behavior. Pranks and leprosy - this is the way the baby to attract attention. If the child broke or broke something, then the parents will immediately be there. Yes, at first adults can scream, but when the baby cries, they caress him, and the moral lecture ends. After such antics, adults will play with the child, feeling guilty for the recent outburst of anger.
Vicious children
Toddlers can grow outgoing and kind, and can be taciturn and shy. Someone might think that the child has such a character, and by nature he is an introvert. This is not true. Any child loves adult attention. But if attention is expressed in constant reproaches and criticism, the baby will not like it.
The child will quickly understand: in order not to receive punishment, you need to hide from the parents the traces of his wrongdoing. The kid will not trust adults, and, therefore, will not believe them. Parents will lose credibility in the eyes of the baby. If the child is lucky, he will be able to find love and support in the form of a teacher in a kindergarten. It is with her that the baby will take an example. A woman will become a best friend, support and support for a child. Parents will only be surprised how a good and active kid in kindergarten can be moody and taciturn at home.
Obedient child
Parents always want their baby to grow up healthy and smart. But sometimes in this quest, young mothers are too zealous. A loving mother can over-guard the baby, not give him the opportunity to do something on his own. And if the child takes the initiative, a portion of censure will await him.
The child will quickly get used to the fact that adults always decide everything for him. It turns out that it is easier to obey their authoritative opinion, because they are so smart. The kid will not take the initiative and will obey any demand of family members.
From the outside it may seem that the child is very good, sweet and obedient. In fact, the baby will suffer from hopelessness. From childhood, he will not have any desires and aspirations. He will never become a leader in the company or authority in the family. The child will reproach his parents all his life for the fact that they ruined in him a craving for knowledge and a love of simple joys.
Family problems
For parents, a child will always be a stupid little creature that understands nothing. But if adults look at the family through the eyes of a child, they will be greatly surprised.
The kid always considers himself the center of the universe. It seems to him - everything that happens in the world is done for him. Therefore, if adults quarrel, the child immediately thinks that it is because of him.
Studying the family through the eyes of a child is quite problematic. Children can not always express their thoughts, and even more so their feelings. Kids from the first years of life to adolescence believe that parents exist solely to bring joy to their person. And, if adults are unhappy with something, then you need to look for a problem in yourself.
Dad yelled at mom? The kid was upset and began to think what he was guilty of. Mom kicked dad out of the house? The child is at a loss, how dad could leave, did he really stop loving them? Any quarrel between parents is very painfully tolerated by the baby. The more often adults swear, the more complexes they hang on to their child.
Questionnaire for children
In kindergarten, teachers pay great attention to the mental health of their wards. Specialists develop many techniques. The seven eyes of a child can be seen with a simple questionnaire. How can he look like? The teacher asks the child questions, and he quickly and frankly says what came to his mind:
"I think our family ...". Ideally, the baby should say that she is happy, cheerful, friendly. Or any other positive epithet. In this case, it can be considered that the child is comfortable living among the closest adults.
"My mum…". Beautiful, smart, caring. Such a simple definition suggests that the child is very attached to the mother. And this is normal. Mother for a child is the main person on the planet. The kid should describe it with the most beautiful adjectives that are in his vocabulary.
"My father…". Brave, courageous, cheerful. This definition helps educators understand that the father is the authority for the child. Dad is not always the closest person, but the baby should love a man, and not be afraid of him.
"I love parents for that ...". That they love me, they play with me, they entertain me. The child must understand why he loves his parents. If the baby finds it difficult to answer, then the relationship in the family leaves much to be desired.
- "I want the parents ...". They spent more time with me, bought toys for me, and drove me to the park. Such desires are quite normal. No matter how wonderful the parents may be, the child will find something to complain about. But when a baby wants his parents to love him, then you need to seriously think about family relationships.
Questionnaire for parents
Carers should hold parent-teacher meetings. Such events should be arranged in the form of a conversation. Family through the eyes of a child and family through the eyes of an adult may differ.
How well parents understand and know their child is very easy to find out. It is necessary to give adults and children the same questionnaires and see if the answers match. The world of the family through the eyes of the child rests on what the baby loves. Adults should be well aware of the preferences of their child. What might the list of questions look like? More or less like this:
- Everything you love: occupation, color, dish, thing, holiday.
- Best friend.
- A cherished desire.
- The best cartoon.
Picture Analysis
A happy family through the eyes of a child is a tiny world where a baby is loved and extolled as a treasure. It is very easy to find out the relationship between the baby and adults. Parents should give the child the task of painting a family. How to interpret the result of the activities of the children?
- Priority. The child will draw all family members one after another. If the relationship of the child with adults is good, then the baby will put himself in the center. Next to him, on both sides, should be the parents. Next can go grandparents, aunts, uncles and pets. If the child did not draw someone, it is foolish to think that he simply forgot. This means that the person who "did not fit" on the sheet does not have any effect on the baby.
- The size. The larger the person in the picture, the more authority he has for the child. If the baby painted himself the largest, then his ego is swollen, and the parents are used to fulfilling all the orders of the baby at the first call.
- Color. Bright colors show a good attitude of the child to family members. If one of the adults is painted black, this is an indicator of a child’s personal antipathy to an adult.
- Distance. If family members are located close to each other, it means that the child believes that he has a good relationship with adults. Is one of the relatives standing separately? So the child does not like the personality.
Prudent education
Parents must learn to look at the family through the eyes of the child. This rule should apply not only to the mother and father, but also to the next of kin.
In order for a child to grow in love, one must not forget to show it from time to time. It is vital for the baby to know that he is loved. How to raise a child so that he grows up as a full-fledged personality?
Everything is simple. It is necessary not to pamper him, but not to deprive him. Be fair, punish for the cause and reward for achievement. And do not limit creativity and always give a chance to speak.