Tantrums in children 4 years old is a standard stage of growing up through which absolutely all kids go through. Sometimes the fault of the vagaries of the parents themselves. How to prevent this and how to cope with children's hysteria, we will consider in the article.
Main reasons
Tantrums in children 4 years old are normal at this age. Babies have many desires and interests, which often diverge from the understanding of adults. If the child is unable to achieve his goal, then it is common for him to experience a feeling of anger and irritation. Therefore, we can conclude that the main cause of tantrums are disagreements with adults.
Consider the situations that most often provoke the baby's whims:
- The desire to attract maximum attention to your person.
- The desire to get something important and necessary.
- The inability to express your discontent verbally.
- Lack of sleep, tiredness and hunger.
- A disease or condition after it.
- Enhanced custody by adults.
- Strict parental control over the child.
- The lack of a pronounced attitude to the positive and negative deeds of the crumbs.
- Mistakes made during child rearing.
- Separation from an entertaining and interesting activity.
- Weak or unbalanced warehouse of the child’s nervous system.
- Incomplete system of rewards and punishments in the baby's family.
Tantrums in a child of 4 years and the causes that cause them are most often associated with the above situations. Faced with the vagaries of children, parents do not always understand how to behave correctly in such cases, and only want the kids to calm down as quickly as possible, satisfying their requirements.
Tantrums of children quite often bring adults out of a state of equilibrium. Parents should understand that much depends on their behavior and reaction in such situations, namely, whether the tantrums will last for years or cease to exist after several unsuccessful attempts. In practice, it was found that adults who are indifferent and calm to children's whims, often achieve positive results in the fight against such manifestations.
Mom help me
What is the essence of the occurrence of tantrums in a child of 4 years?
The fact is that children at this age are characterized by tantrums not on the basis of “want”, but because of resentment. And a cry with tears is a banal appeal to mom for help, as negative emotions overwhelm the baby to such an extent that he is unable to cope with them on his own. In this case, it is very important to help the child understand the situation.
To do this, you need to find out from him information about what happened, what he was scared of, and give advice on how to behave. It will be useful to explain that this is solvable and give some recommendations. Some parents adhere to the rule: the children themselves will figure it out. But, if the baby came to mom for help, then he needs it. Send it back and advise you to solve the problem yourself, it's like betraying. And this is very bad for the future development of the personality of the child.
How to fight?
What is a child’s tantrum at 4 years old? What to do in this situation? Before turning to the issue of combating this phenomenon, it is necessary to understand the essence of such concepts as “hysteria” and “whims”. It is common to resort to the last children intentionally in order to get what is desired or impossible, as well as forbidden for them at a given moment in time. Whims, as well as tantrums, are accompanied by crying, screaming, stomping feet and scattering toys or other improvised items. Often they are impossible. Usually manifested in the reluctance to go to kindergarten or walk, as well as when the baby requires sweets and other sweets.
Tantrums refer to an involuntary form of manifestation of emotions. Often this condition in a child can be accompanied by loud crying, scratching his face and beating his fists against a wall or table. Often there are situations when a baby has uncontrolled convulsions, in which the baby is peculiar to bend with a bridge.
Parents should consider that children's tantrums are a strong emotional shock, which is additionally supported by a feeling of irritation, despair and aggression. During this condition, it is very difficult for children to control themselves, which is why some can start banging their head against a wall or floor without feeling pain. Tantrums tend to intensify with the attention of others. They will quickly stop after the disappearance of other people's interest in this process.
A child in 4 years rolls tantrums
As mentioned above, such a reaction is often manifested due to the erroneous behavior of adults in such situations. Most often, such children do not know the word "no", because often they are allowed and allowed by relatives.
Kids at this age are very smart and observant. They know very well that if mom forbade, then you can approach the grandmother or dad with the same request, they may not refuse. To avoid such situations, you should determine with all family members a list of permitted and prohibited things. Try to adhere to a consensus in the education of crumbs and be consistent. That is, if mom forbade, then the rest should also adhere to this position.
Cause for concern
Constant tantrums of a child at 4 years old can signal possible problems with his nervous system. Contact a neurologist if:
- Tantrums are repeated very often, turning into an aggressive form of behavior.
- In a baby, they continue to occur for a long time.
- During attacks, the child inflicts damage on himself and others.
- Periodically, during the whims of the baby, the baby loses consciousness and holds his breath.
- Hysterical attacks are especially acute during a night's sleep. They can be accompanied by serious mood swings, the appearance of fears and nightmares.
- The state of hysteria ends with vomiting and shortness of breath. After which the baby may become tired.
If the child’s health is in perfect order, then the reason lies in family relationships, as well as in the reactions of relatives and close people to the behavior of the baby. In the fight against such conditions, it is very important to maintain calm and self-control. Be patient with your child. Try to compromise. Many of the whims and tantrums of babies can be prevented if you timely find out the cause of their occurrence.
Remember that you are more important
A child at 4 years old does not obey? Tantrums of the baby should not act on you as if you are falling under his influence. Remember that it is you who educate your child, not he you.
If you need to go about your business, and the child raises a cry and does not let you go - go and work. The baby, of course, will cry and scream. Alas, this cannot be avoided. But over time, he will understand what is required of him. According to child psychology, the best parent is someone who uses his power to take care of his own baby, and knows how to do it right.
Think about your baby's future
When a 4-year-old child feels hysterical, it’s not always easy for parents to remain calm. Most adults tend to feel like a bad mother or father at such times. Despite all the rules and peculiarities of raising children, you must rely on your intuition. And if at the moment you think that applying the “parent should be more important” rule is inappropriate, then do not follow it. But remember that there is no need to abuse such weaknesses.
Sometimes you can talk with your child for 15 minutes when he does not let you go. But only if such tantrums are not regular after the next conversation. Try not to strain inside yourself.
To respond to the tantrums of children 3-4 years old is the same as to extinguish a fire that has already begun. The art of parents is not to deal with the vagaries of the child, but to prevent the occurrence of such situations in the future.
Psychologists advice
Tantrums in children 4–5 years old require proper behavior on the part of parents in response to such whims.
There are several actions that are contraindicated to parents in such situations:
- With hysteria, in no case can not fulfill the desire of the baby. Of course, this action will calm the crumbs, but soon everything will be repeated again, but already on the beaten path.
- You should not argue with a child, let alone tease him.
- Do not switch to a raised tone, as this will not calm the crumbs, but only increase hysteria and anger.
- Do not punish or encourage a child. Try to make the vagaries go unnoticed.
- Do not take the baby’s words in such a state too seriously, since during a tantrum he can say anything without thinking about the meaning and consequences of what was said.
- If the attack happened in front of other people, do not be ashamed of it in front of them. The little manipulator realizes that you are inferior to him in front of his surroundings, and soon tantrums can begin to be repeated in public places.
- You should not involve others in the process of whims, then the baby will understand that his tears do not affect anyone, and the performance will quickly end.
How to stop quickly
Tantrum in a child at 4 years old: what to do? In different situations, you can react completely differently. But it is better to adhere to the following recommendations:
- If the hysteria occurred in a public place, then it is necessary to show your indifference to such a behavior of the baby.
- In moments of anger and tantrums, it is not common for children to be aware of what is happening to them. Mom needs to try as clearly as possible to explain to the child a similar condition and the reasons for its occurrence.
- Do not categorically refuse a child anything when there is an opportunity to explain in detail the reasons for this. Children over three years old tend to understand adults. Therefore, to reassure the baby is much easier.
- You can predict the situation in advance. For example, if you are going to the store, try to explain to the crumb that today it will not work to buy a toy, since there is no such possibility yet.
To cope with the vagaries of a child aged 4 years is quite real without serious consequences for his psyche. But before taking categorical measures, you should understand the causes of this condition, and only then proceed with the search for methods of struggle. Communication with the baby should be at a confidential level, and not by demonstrating the indisputable authority of the parent. But we must remember the rule in which the adult is more important. Of course, this is a pretty fine line between leadership and trust, but, nevertheless, it should be respected.
Protracted crisis
We examined all the necessary information regarding hysteria in a 4-year-old child and the advice of a psychologist. But it is worth stopping at one more moment. There is a concept of protracted hysteria, which requires a more detailed consideration, since such a condition can lead to serious problems.
What then do psychologists advise:
- Try to prevent whims and tantrums. If the child’s day was very busy and full of emotions, then bathe the baby as early as possible and put to bed. You can offer herbal tea from chamomile.
- Try to distract the baby during this condition. Offer to see a book, pictures, and more. Say something that can act on it, as well as distract.
- Often the appearance of tantrums contribute to the audience. In such situations, it is necessary to stay with the child alone in silence for about three minutes. Then you can quietly and confidently talk to him, switching your attention to foreign things or objects.
- Feeling of loneliness. Children over two years old are not afraid in a familiar environment alone. Therefore, during the occurrence of regular moods or tantrums, leave the child to sit in a separate room for 4–5 minutes and think about his behavior.
- Keep yourself in control. Remember that the child goes through the stage of growing up and it is very difficult for him now. For the first time he faces a huge stream of emotions and tries to fight them. And very often such a fight leads to tantrums.
- Do not heat such conditions with analysis. Avoid such statements as “it's your own fault”, “I told you that you shouldn’t do this”, “because you didn’t listen to me”.
- Be consistent in your words and actions. As mentioned earlier, the main culprits in the tantrums of children are their parents. At first they all allow them, and then bans suddenly appear. Or, for example, mom forbids, and grandmother or dad allow. The kid in such situations learns to manipulate very quickly, and the simplest method in this case is to throw a tantrum. Therefore, it is so important to discuss in advance with all members of the family what can be done crumbs and what not.
Talk to your child despite his age. You can discuss everything even after the baby calms down. The baby must understand the true reasons why he cannot get what he wants here and now.