Children are curious creatures. They are interested not only in the world around them, but also in the history of their own origin. Trying to understand this issue, kids are faced with an unhealthy adult reaction. Moms and dads blush, stutter, resort to excuses, recall the legends of stork and cabbage. Let's talk about how to correctly explain to the child where the children come from.
To tell the truth?
When a preschooler asks you about the appearance of children, he is least concerned about human physiology and intimate relationships. The baby learns the world, trying to understand the basic laws. He is quite satisfied with the fabulous answer about the store or the stork.
However, soon the baby will be convinced of the falsity of such information. It will be enough to communicate with friends in kindergarten. Surely some of them have younger brothers or sisters. The enlightener of modern children is often a television on which you can personally see the process of not only childbirth, but also the conception of the baby. Confidence in the words of parents will be undermined.
How to explain to the child where the children come from? Psychologists advise initially to voice truthful information. But at the same time issue it in a dosed manner, taking into account the age and needs of the heir.
Common mistakes
The topic of gender relations, intimate relationships is very important for children. Incorrectly presented information can cause many complexes already in adulthood.
Therefore, try to avoid the following errors:
- Avoiding an answer. Forget the phrase: "If you grow up, you will find out." The child should not have the feeling that the appearance of children is a forbidden topic. In extreme cases, take a timeout, prepare for the upcoming conversation.
- Inadequate response to such questions. Try to have a conversation naturally, as well as when discussing other topics. It is not necessary to create in children a feeling that sexual matters are something dirty, shameful.
- The use of ridiculous words to describe the human genitals. Many parents have no idea how to tell the child where the children come from. They resort to encrypted designations instead of using the correct medical names.
- Palm Encyclopedias. The child wants to hear a personalized response from a loved one, and not read an impersonal text. You can resort to the help of books, but then read them together and discuss, comment along the way.
- Forcing events. Sometimes parents give children excessive information about sex, cesarean section, painful childbirth, not taking into account the age of the baby. All this can provoke the appearance of fears, psychological injuries.
Conversation with a crumb 3-4 years
At the youngest preschool age, babies are puzzled for the first time by the question of childbearing. However, the process of conception, as a rule, is not of interest to them. How to explain to a small child where the children come from? You can tell that the baby grows in her mother’s stomach. Show your photos during pregnancy, describe how they were waiting for your baby, how they prepared a bed for him, diapers, rattles.
When the baby grows up, the mother goes to the hospital, and the doctor takes the baby out of the abdomen. To bring the conversation to a neutral topic, talk about the animal kingdom. Tell us that the fish hatch from the eggs, the chicks from the eggs. But kittens and puppies also grow in their mother’s tummy, they are so warm and good. Usually, small children are quite satisfied with such explanations.
What to say to a child 5-7 years old?
At this age, children are already aware of the gender differences between boys and girls. Therefore, I have to talk about sex, but very carefully. How to explain to the child where the children come from? Begin the conversation with the fact that once mom and dad met each other, fell in love and wanted to get married. They were always together, sleeping in the same bed, kissing and hugging tightly. Once daddy’s cell, similar to a tadpole, got into my mother’s tummy and connected there with another cell. So there was a tiny baby the size of a grain of sand.
All women have a house for future babies - the uterus. In it, the baby began to grow, he appeared hands, legs, eyes and other parts of the body. While the baby was in his stomach, he ate the same food as his mother, through a special tube - the umbilical cord. Buy a children's encyclopedia on this topic, view photos. Tell us how they were waiting for the baby, stroking him through the stomach, singing songs. When the baby grew up, and he became cramped, the doctors took him through a special hole, which is the mother's bottom of the pelvis. Everyone was very happy about his appearance.
Ticklish moments
It is not necessary to wait for children's questions to start a conversation on the topic of childbearing. If the son of 6 years does not show initiative, find a suitable occasion. It may be the pregnancy of a woman you know. How to explain to the boy where the children come from? First, find out what information the child currently owns. Perhaps she needs a correction.
Sometimes situations arise that confound parents. Let's consider some of them:
- The kid learned indecent words from his friends. Explain that rude, ill-mannered people say so . In your house you do not want to hear such words. Instead, cultural people use other names: penis, vagina, "make love."
- The child saw the intercourse of animals or an intimate scene on TV. Explain that adults do this when they fall in love. They want to sleep nearby, hug, kiss, be together. Sometimes children subsequently appear.
- A friend in the kindergarten assures that the stork brings children. Talk about having a baby is a real miracle. Therefore, on this subject there are many beautiful tales and legends that are very interesting to listen to.
- The kid shares his knowledge with everyone he meets, which puts his parents in an awkward position. Say that some topics are usually discussed only with loved ones.
Almost a teenager
At the age of 8-12 years, you can safely introduce children to anatomical terms. Talk about sex as a natural process that adults do. Don't know how to explain to the boy where the children come from? Relax. Most likely, he already has some idea of the bed scenes.
It’s more important to convey to the child the idea that sex is beautiful when people love each other. Trust and mutual responsibility are all the more necessary when it comes to the birth of children. In order for the baby to have everything necessary, mom and dad must get an education, find a good job, arrange housing.
Be sure to prepare your child for puberty. Buy a good encyclopedia with lots of illustrations. Changes in one's own body should not take the offspring by surprise.
Conversation with a boy
To a growing son, dad usually explains where the children come from. In addition, the father will be able to talk about emissions, erotic dreams, breaking voice and other changes awaiting the future man. Representatives of the same sex will better understand each other, will be able to avoid embarrassment. If there is no father for some reason, entrust the delicate task to grandfather, uncle, older brother. The boy should know about the changes that are taking place with the girls.
At this age, you can talk about first love. Explain to your son that being shy about the girl you like is normal. Do not make fun of clumsy attempts to attract attention. Teach your child to find common activities with the chosen one, do something pleasant for her, ask about interests and respect the decisive "no."
Conversation with a girl
If the father explains to the son where the children come from, then in the case of the daughter, this honorable duty rests with the mother. It is important to prepare the child for the first menstruation so that this does not cause fear. Tell us about other changes in the body - the appearance of hair on the body, breast growth, teenage acne. Do not forget to mention the rules of hygiene.
Explain that after the onset of menstruation, the girl may become pregnant. However, her body is not ready for bearing a baby. Teach your daughter to respect herself, to defend her borders. Reassure your child that saying no to other people is normal. You can not step over your reluctance and do something, following the lead of peers.
Sami with a mustache
Opinion polls show that teens put on the first sexual experiments between the ages of 14-16. They already know very well where the children come from. How to explain to the child that early sexual activity can lead to serious problems? Unfortunately, there is no single recipe. Notations and bullying at this age are not perceived.
If you have a trusting relationship with your child, give more concrete examples from the lives of people around you in your conversations. Be sure to inform him about methods of contraception. Inspire the idea that sex is primarily the responsibility that both partners have. It is possible to have children only after the body of the future mother gets stronger and is ready for bearing. Abortion is unacceptable, as it can entail serious consequences for the girl, up to infertility. In addition, it’s immoral to kill a tiny, but still human.
What a young man should know
Once a father explained to his son where the children come from. Now is the time to talk about condoms and sexually transmitted diseases. The boy must understand that a girl can become pregnant when she first has sex. Inspire the guy that it is the man who must show responsibility, taking care of contraception. Show your son where he can get condoms, as many teenagers are embarrassed to buy them on their own.
At the same time, emphasize that being a virgin is not a shame. On the contrary, a great willpower is needed in order not to succumb to the herd feeling. Sex without mutual feelings often brings only disappointment. Going to bed with someone you love is a completely different matter.
If a girl refuses to have sex, this does not mean that the guy is bad. It just might not be ready. It is important for a girl to feel loved, to fully trust her partner. It is necessary to give her time, and not to insist on her own.
What to say to a girl
Do you recall with nostalgia the time when you did not know how to explain to your daughter where the children come from? Now she’s grown up, started to be friends with boys, and your fears grow exponentially? First of all, learn to trust the girl. Permanent prohibitions provoke rebellion.
However, warn your daughter that she should think about her safety alone with the boys. By inviting a girl to listen to music, a guy may mean a completely different occupation. You can’t follow his lead for fear of rejection. Psychological research proves that men value those women for whom they had to compete. It is important to respect yourself and be able to say no if you don’t want something.
Introduce the girl in detail with contraception methods. Explain that a birth control pill cannot protect against a sexually transmitted disease. With interrupted intercourse, the possibility of pregnancy persists, as well as during the first time. Inspire your daughter with the idea that it is the girl who needs to take care of her safety.
Not sure how to explain to the child where the children come from? Drop fears and confine the conversation to a specific situation. A conversation is easier to start by citing a third party as an example. Always answer your child’s questions, maintain a trusting relationship so that children come to you for information, and not to a friend from a parallel class.