Two children in a family is wonderful from any point of view. The child grows not alone, and he is not bored. And with age, they will be support and support for parents and each other. The time interval between births of children can be different. In this article we will talk about the difference between children 2 years. The nuances of education, as well as the advice of specialists and mothers, will be affected.
The first year of the life of the second baby
If the difference between the children is 2 years, how to deal with them? Now we will tell. A small age difference makes children more united. With age, they will have almost the same interests, and often - one circle of friends. But how to deal with children when one was just born, and the second is still 2 years old?
The very first thing - a woman should be prepared for the fact that it is again a diaper, sleepless nights and almost no privacy. Well, if the second pregnancy is planned, and the mother is ready for the birth of a second child. It is not uncommon for a second baby to be born due to a lack of protection. Many mothers believe that it is impossible to get pregnant when breastfeeding. And in these cases, a woman who has not regained strength can become aggressive and frustrate anger in children.
Mom should be prepared for the fact that children of 2 years are more often sick. They begin to go to kindergarten and there they quickly become infected (this is how immunity is formed). Therefore, you need to be prepared for the fact that babies can become infected. It is good if there is a grandmother and grandfather who can take an older child to themselves for the period of illness to protect the baby. But, again, a sick child recovers faster when mom is nearby. Therefore, it is important to think in advance what to do best when the oldest child falls ill. This is the biggest minus in the difference in age between children 2 years.
Jealousy for mom
An older child may be jealous of mom. Although with a difference of two years, jealousy is not as pronounced as with a difference of 5-8 years. This is more often manifested if, with the advent of the younger, the elder had to sleep separately from his mother, he was weaned and, of course, due to the fact that the crumbs would get more attention. Therefore, it is important to monitor the child’s reaction, as he may not quite consciously harm the baby, when even for one minute he will be left alone with his younger brother or sister.
The right acquaintance
In this case, you must definitely introduce the children correctly. Under the control of an adult and in a comfortable position, you can give the baby hold on hands. Body contact is necessary. In no case should you forbid the child to touch the baby, you just need to show how this is done correctly. Be sure to show your love, do not push the child away, even if the baby at this time requires more attention. For example, the mother changes the diaper of the baby, the eldest at that time went to the pot or asks to bring water. Do not push the child away with the words that now is not up to him. We need to make it clear that my mother heard him and will soon fulfill his request.
Matching Games
Mom should let the children play together, under the supervision of an adult. At first, the older child can simply entertain the baby with a rattle, and later they can build a pyramid together. So jealousy of my mother will be faster. In this case, women say in reviews, the difference of 2 years between the children plays into the hands. Since already at the age of one, the youngest child will find it easier for parents. Children will already be able to find a game that will interest both. And adults at this time, while looking after the children, can cope with household chores.
Pros and cons of such a small age difference between children
The advantage of this age difference is that parents still remember well all the nuances of caring for the baby. For example, what helps with colic is how to properly introduce complementary foods. They can swaddle a baby quickly and bathe him.
The difference between the children of 2 years on the one hand is convenient financially. Not yet given to friends yet a crib, diapers and romper. The house is full of baby toys and baby care equipment. On the other hand, babies need diapers, baby cosmetics and other daily expenses.
A child in two years already begins to go to kindergarten. This, on the one hand, is convenient: during the day it is easier for mother to cope with one baby. The difficulty is that the mother will have to help the older child adapt to the garden. Sometimes it takes time and effort no less than caring for a baby. Upon arrival home, parents should be interested in the older child (how they spent the day, what they ate, how they walked, and so on). Be sure to allocate time for games and communication.
An important role with such a difference in age is played by the upbringing of the oldest child. Since the youngest will try to repeat his brother or sister in everything: in games, in the manner of communication, in obedience to an adult. If a mistake is made, it will be much more difficult to educate the youngest correctly. But if the child behaves correctly, then this will facilitate the educational process with the baby. This is also a big plus with a difference between children of 2.5 years.
In the reviews, women write that parents should be prepared in advance for the fact that grandparents will not be able to take two children at once for the weekend, especially if the older one is very active. For their age, keeping track of two fidgets will simply not be able to. Therefore, it will be necessary to choose which child is best sent to parents in order to give the body at least a little break and rest.
Mom should be prepared for the fact that the older child will have to be accustomed to the new mode of walk, not immediately after a quiet hour, but how it will turn out because of caring for the baby and feeding. You can ask relatives (sister, mother, brother) to walk with the elder. In this regard, the difference between children of 2 years is inconvenient, since the correct mode of the baby can go wrong if there is no one to help.
Do not compare children!
Never compare children and do not set an example to each other. This over time can develop a feeling of jealousy and even hatred for each other. Do not offend the younger one by the fact that he constantly has to carry things over the older one, especially if the children are same-sex. The youngest should have his own toys and new things.
Proper education
What are the rules in parenting with a difference between children of 2 years? In reviews, mothers write that proper education plays an important role in this case. If mistakes are made, then this can not only result in jealousy between the children, but also provoke hostility towards each other. It is necessary to make it clear to the children in advance that there is no pet among them, and the relationship to both is the same.
It is not recommended to give the younger baby concessions. For example, give the car / doll to the youngest, as he cries and asks. One child will develop egoism this way, and another will have a feeling of resentment and envy. This will form the wrong attitude in children and in kindergarten, school. One will believe that everything is allowed to him, and everyone owes him. And the other can grow up closed and will allow itself to be offended.
As already mentioned, do not compare children. Everyone has their own skills and abilities. And if you constantly say that the youngest is such a fine fellow, everything is so good at him the first time, then this will greatly offend the older. We must not forget that sometimes the successful development of a second child is a merit of an older brother or sister. It was by looking at him that the child quickly learned to eat, collect toys for himself, dress and so on.
It is impossible for the child to constantly demand to sit with the younger one, help him clean the room or take a walk with his brother / sister. The child does not owe this to the parents. Raising a second baby is an adult's responsibility. And the fact that the oldest child helps is good. But the desire should come from the child himself, and not by order of the parents. Moreover, the difference between the children is 2 years, and the oldest child, in fact, himself still needs the help and support of an adult. Do not deprive the baby of childhood.
Children mistakes
When making mistakes, everyone is responsible for them independently. It often happens that the second child plays, scattering toys, and the older one tidies up, because he should help. Or the younger one poured tea, and gets to the first-born, as he overlooked. Such improper upbringing will only spoil the second child very much, and subsequently it can result in severe trouble (especially with age), since he will not know what responsibility is for what he has done.
Common games and a feeling of greed
When playing with children, you need to choose such an activity that is not only clear, but interesting for both. This only strengthen the bond between the children. Do not ask the older child to ask the younger one to play dice or assemble a complex constructor. These are games for different age categories. But hide and seek, ball games and similar games will be interesting to both.
The younger ones always want the same thing that the older child has. This is a normal feeling of greed and property, which will pass with age with proper education. To prevent this, children can first buy the same toys and sweets. Then the desire to take away will pass by itself.
Jealousy in children
Jealousy in children is a normal reaction to the appearance of a new family member in the apartment. It can be with a difference between children of 2.5 years, and 10 years. Therefore, before the birth of a second child, parents should have a conversation with the first-born. Explain why mom will spend more time with her brother or sister, but not because she loves more, but because the baby still does not know how. You can and should attract a child to help care for the baby, but not necessarily. This may be a request to bring a diaper, check whether the baby is sleeping or wake up, to help gather things for a walk and so on.
With proper and full-fledged upbringing of children, they will be support for each other both in the family and throughout life. And between them there will be a rather strong feeling of love and a desire to help each other in difficult situations. No friendship will break such friendship and love.
2 years difference between children. Psychologists advice
The first child should be ready for the appearance of a brother or sister. To embellish expectations, you can tell how he will now have fun playing together, walking. Moreover, mother’s love will not go anywhere, and it will be enough for two, and if necessary - for three children. The main thing is to keep a promise.
Immediately only after the birth of the baby, you need to properly introduce them. Allow the first-born to well examine the brother / sister from the hospital, stroke. Do not scold if he wakes the baby during the games. It is necessary to delicately teach the child to behave quieter, without subsequent insults and hatred of the baby.
What is most afraid of parents whose difference between the children is 2 years old? Jealousy But if everything is done correctly, and the child does not need affection and love, then jealousy will pass by. Since it will be difficult for mom to take care of both at once, dad can come to the rescue. He can play with the baby or the firstborn. You can do this one at a time, depending on what the second child needs. Since dad, unfortunately, will not be able to breastfeed.
Tips for the experience of moms. The difference between the children is 2 years
Each mother has her own experience in raising children with such a difference in age. There are mothers who take advantage of the fact that while the baby is still very small, the main concern is laid on the shoulders of the grandmother. She can walk with the child, buy it, and so on. And they themselves spend time at this time with the older child., Gradually increasing the time they spend with the baby, so that the first-born child does not immediately feel less attention from the mother.
Women say that children must be taught to spend free time together. Better when the games are family, along with dad, you can even only on weekends. In this way not only feelings between children will come together, but also the family will become stronger. If the child is still very jealous, then you need to look for a way out of the situation. You can again attract grandparents to help. They have more experience in raising children, and their nerves are stronger. Since the mother had not yet managed to recover psychologically after the birth of her first child, the second baby was already born.
Finally
The difference between children 2-3 years old is good due to the fact that children grow up not spill water. But the period is difficult for parents psychologically. You need to have time to mess around with the baby and not deprive the first child of love and attention. If it’s not right for parents to raise their children (jealousy, childish egoism and constant quarrels over toys appear), then you can use the advice of a psychologist.