Couples whose marriage is 20-40 years old will be surprised to find themselves at a modern wedding: many traditions have changed. If your twenty-year-old daughter says that each of the hundreds of guests needs to give presents at the celebration, do not rush to grab his head and say: “No!” In fact, almost everything has changed in our lives. Why not upgrade wedding traditions? Let’s try to figure out who, for what and what gifts should be given at a modern wedding.
The Soviet bride knew for sure: a gift for guests at a wedding is necessary, but not one, but sometimes about a dozen. The circle of gifted people was generally clear: close relatives of the groom (mom-dad, siblings, grandparents, uncles, aunts, occasionally godparents). Gifts were selected quality. Given the general shortage, almost any
gift to guests at the wedding turned out to be necessary. After all, he was purchased by coupons (invitations) in the bridal salon. It is difficult for today's newlyweds to imagine that terry towels, tablecloths, bathrobes, shirts, scarves, fabric cuts, dishes, bedding can be a shortage, but there were. These very simple household items and clothes were purchased as a gift to guests by the bride and groom, who received the desired access to rare goods on the shelves of a regular store. Newlyweds usually did not exchange gifts.
Competitions at weddings of the Soviet era, of course, were held. Souvenirs for them also relied mostly humorous. Something was bought by the newlyweds, something by witnesses. This was definitely not a big problem, because all these souvenirs were worth a penny. And most importantly - no one claimed to receive a serious gift, it was enough to make a homemade cardboard medal or a diploma to the “Most Active Guest”.
It turns out that the tradition of giving guests at a wedding also existed among our ancestors, but the sacred meaning of the ceremony was different. As a rule, the bride handed things woven, knitted, embroidered with their own hands. Father of the groom received a belt, mother - a luxurious scarf, groom - an embroidered shirt, relatives - a tablecloth, towel, napkins. In this way, the bride demonstrated her skill, home spirit, and gifts were filled with special energy. The groom, however, had to show his material viability, so he tried to buy his mother-in-law a rich fur coat, father-in-law - new boots, the bride - jewelry and fashionable clothes.
In recent years, a tradition has emerged to present each guest at a wedding with small souvenir bonbonnieres. The roots of tradition should be sought in medieval France. “Bonbon” is “candy” in French, and bonbonnière is “candy box”. Thus, the bonbonniere is a beautiful box for chocolates. At various celebrations in France, guests were presented with sweets to thank them for attending a wedding, baptism, or communion. The tradition successfully survived centuries and migrated to other European states, and in recent years to Russia and the CIS countries.
In France, almonds, usually covered with glaze, were put in candy stores, but today it can also be small chocolate candies in foil or candied fruits. Bonbonnieres look like bags, sachets, envelopes, boxes. You can prepare them yourself and pick up the tone of your thematic wedding. By the way, according to tradition, there should be 5 tablets in the candy store: symbols of fertility, happiness, prosperity, health and longevity. Today, this amount is usually not respected, rumor says only that the amount of sweets should be odd.
Moreover: practicalism prevailed over the windy sweet tooth of the French. Today, more and more couples are thinking about souvenirs that will leave a memory of the celebration for a long time. For example, a fridge magnet with a wedding date and photos of the newlyweds will help guests not to forget your wedding day, and you can even count on gifts for a wooden wedding (for the fifth anniversary of a life together).
Some couples come up with more and more original ideas for souvenirs for guests: it can be calendars, glasses and newspapers of special design, trinkets, vases, tiny jars of jam ... A gift for guests at a wedding can be humorous. In this case, we are already talking about individual souvenirs, which, of course, complicates the already difficult life of future newlyweds.
We examined the main options for wedding gifts, but did not answer the question: “What should be done according to wedding etiquette?” In the era of globalization, it is rather difficult to talk about the existence of established rules; in fact, there is no single wedding etiquette. Of course, bonbonnieres are not a Slavic tradition, but it has taken root, and many like it.
Today, only the newlyweds make a decision who should be given souvenirs, and what kind of gift the guests at the wedding will be appropriate. You can not give anyone. A bright ceremony, a festive banquet, a show program is the main gift for those present. You can give gifts to close relatives, as your mothers and grandmothers did. And you can prepare souvenirs in the French style for all participants in the celebration (each or 1 per family). The decision is up to the bride and groom. Believe me, there are no clear rules. According to the observations of the leading weddings, today about a third of banquets are held without gifts for guests, but this does not make the holiday either less fun or less happy.
However, if finances allow, why not make this cute gesture - a bonbonniere as a gift - to thank the guests for sharing this day with you. Surely you will enjoy both you and everyone present. You can put a thank-you card in the bonbonniere. Perhaps we should not forget that you do not get gifts for a golden wedding, but pleasant little things that should not be too expensive. Souvenirs are presented at the end of the celebration or during the gift ceremony as a response “thank you”.
In any case, be sure to thank the guests verbally.