It is no secret that Japan is a country in which the observance of traditions is considered one of the main principles of society. A person gets acquainted with them from birth. After the tradition they go along throughout his life. And despite the fact that the West is influencing the modern social structure of Japan, the changes brought to the Land of the Rising Sun do not at all concern the deepest social structures. They appear only in the external imitation of fashion trends and trends.
The same can be said about raising a child in Japan. It fundamentally differs from those teaching methods that are used in Russia. For example, in Japanese playgrounds for children it is impossible to hear harsh phrases such as “I will punish you now” or “you are behaving badly.” And even in those cases when these kids start to fight with their mother or, picking up felt-tip pens, and outline the white door of the store, there will be no reprimands from adults. After all, everything is permissible for a child under 5 in Japan. Such liberal traditions of the educational process do not fit into the idea of Russian people.
This article will briefly discuss parenting in Japan. What is remarkable about this system?
Mother's role
The care of raising a child in Japan falls, as a rule, on the shoulders of a woman. Fathers practically do not take part in this process. This is especially true for the first years of the baby's life.
The status of mothers in Japan is highlighted. These women are called “amae”. Translating the meaning of this word into Russian is rather difficult. It expresses the desired and very deep dependence of the baby on the most important and beloved person in his life.
Of course, Japanese mothers do everything for their child that depends on them. It is almost impossible to see a crying child in this country. Mom does everything in order not to give him an occasion. During the first year of his life, the baby is constantly with the woman. Mother wears it on her chest or behind her back. And in order to make this possible in any weather, Japanese clothing stores offer special jackets in which there are compartments for children fastened with zippers. When the baby grows up, the insert comes unfastened. Thus, the jacket becomes ordinary clothes. Mother does not leave her child even at night. The little pean always sleeps near her.
Japanese mothers will never claim power over their children. It is believed that this can lead to a feeling of alienation. Mother will never dispute the wishes and will of the child. And if she wants to express her dissatisfaction with one or another act of her child, she will do it indirectly. She just makes it clear that her behavior upsets her. It is worth noting that most Japanese children literally idolize their mothers. That is why, having committed a certain offense, they will certainly feel remorse and guilt for their actions.
Getting acquainted with interesting facts about raising children in Japan, it is worth noting that when a conflict arises, the mother will never move away from her baby. On the contrary, she will try to be as close to him as possible. It is believed that this will enhance the emotional contact, so necessary in such a situation.
Also in Japan, children do not help their mothers wash dishes. They do not clean the room. Similar in the country is simply not accepted. Housework falls entirely on the shoulders of the hostess. It is believed that the woman who asked for help is not able to cope with her main function - to keep the house in order and to be a mother. Even the closest friends do not help each other in household matters.
Maternity is considered the main function of women in Japan. Moreover, it certainly prevails over the rest. Even when communicating with each other, women of this country rarely turn to each other by name. They indicate precisely the family status of their interlocutor, saying: "Hello, mother of such a child, how are you?"
Stages of education
The main elements of the Japanese pedagogical system are three modules. These are peculiar steps on which the baby has to go through at different periods of his life.
So, the main phases that exist in the traditional upbringing of a child in Japan are:
- Step "emperor". When raising children in Japan up to 5 years old, it is believed that they are allowed almost everything.
- Step "slave." It lasts for 10 years when the child is between 5 and 15 years old.
- The step is "equal." Children pass this phase after their fifteenth birthday.
It is worth noting that the method of raising children adopted in Japan is effective only in this country. After all, all adults who live on the territory of the state, from megacities to provinces, follow its principles. For a different environment, such a technique will need some adjustment in order to adapt it to local conditions.
The Emperor
The first phase is designed to educate children under 5 years old. In Japan, at this age, adults practically do not forbid a child.
Mom allows everything to be done to her child. From adults, a child can only hear warnings “bad,” “dirty,” or “dangerous.” However, if he nevertheless got burned or hurt himself, his mother believes that only she is to blame. At the same time, the woman asks the child for forgiveness that she could not save him from the pain.
Children, starting to walk, are constantly under their mother’s supervision. A woman follows her little one on its heels. Often mothers organize games for their children in which they themselves take an active part.
As for dads, they can be seen on a walk only on weekends. At this time, the family seeks to go outdoors or visit the park. If the weather does not allow this, then gaming rooms in large shopping centers become a place for leisure.
Japanese parents will never raise their voice on their children. Nor will they read them notations. There can be no talk of corporal punishment at all.
There is no public censure of the actions of young children in the country. Adults will not comment on either the baby or his mother. And this despite the fact that on the street a child can behave at least rude. Many children take advantage of this. Based on the fact that raising children in Japan up to 5 years of age occurs in the absence of punishment and conviction, children very often put their whims and whims above all else.
The power of personal example
Features of raising children in Japan at the "emperor" stage for American and European parents seem to be pampering, indulging whims, as well as a complete lack of control by adults. However, this is not at all true. The power of parents in raising a child in Japan is much stronger than in the West. The fact is that it is traditionally based on appeals to feelings, as well as a personal example.
In 1994, an experiment was conducted, the results of which were to indicate a difference in approaches to raising and educating children in Japan and America. Scientists of Azum Hiroshi were invited to mothers, representatives of both cultures, to assemble a pyramid constructor with their children. Observations revealed an interesting fact. Japanese women first showed their babies how to build a structure. Only after that did they allow the child to repeat their actions. If the children were mistaken, then the women began to show them everything from the beginning.
American mothers took a completely different path. At first, they explained to their child the algorithm of necessary actions, and then they performed them together with the baby.
The difference in educational methods noted by the researcher was called the "enlightening type of parenting." It was held by Japanese mothers. They did not “admonish” children at all with words, but acted on their consciousness with actions.
Peculiarities of raising children in Japan are that from infancy they are taught to pay attention to their feelings, as well as to the feelings of people around them and even objects. Mom will not drive the little prankster away from the hot cup. However, if the child is burned, then the Amae will certainly ask him for forgiveness. At the same time, she will definitely mention that the act of her little one hurt her.
One more example. Having become spoiled, the child breaks his favorite typewriter. The European or American in this case will select the toy. After that, she will read the notation to the baby that she had to work hard to buy her in the store. The Japanese, in this case, will tell the child that he hurt the typewriter.
So, the traditions of raising children in Japan up to 5 years allow almost everything for them. Moreover, in their minds the formation of the image “I am good, loving parents and well-mannered” takes place.
"Slave"
This phase of the parenting system in Japan is longer than the previous one. From the age of five, a child has to face reality. He is subject to strict restrictions and rules, which he simply cannot disregard.
This phase can be explained by the fact that Japanese society is essentially community-based. The economic and climatic conditions of this country have always forced its population to live and work together. Only thanks to selfless service and mutual assistance did people receive a good rice crop, which provided themselves with food. This explains the highly developed group consciousness of the Japanese. In the traditions of this country, the expression of public interest is a priority. A person realizes that he is no more than one of the elements in a large and very complex mechanism. And if he did not find his place among people, he would certainly become an outcast.
In this regard, according to the rules for raising a child in Japan, he is taught to be part of a general group from the age of 5. For the inhabitants of the country there is nothing worse than social exclusion. That is why the kids quickly get used to the fact that they need to sacrifice their personal selfish interests.
Favorite activities of little Japanese "slaves"
Kids who are sent to kindergarten or to a special preparatory school fall into the hands of a teacher, who plays the role of not a teacher at all, but a kind of coordinator. This specialist uses a whole arsenal of pedagogical methods, one of which is “delegation of authority to supervise behavior”. The teacher divides his wards into groups, each of which not only gives a task to perform certain actions, but also invites them to follow their comrades.
Schools in Japan - this is the place where children go in the same strict form, behave quite restrained and respectfully treat their teachers. At this age, they are instilled with the principle of equality. Little Japanese people begin to realize that they are all the same members of society, regardless of the origin or financial condition of their parents.
The most favorite activities of Japanese children are choral singing, relay races and team sports.
Beginning to follow the laws of society helps babies and their affection for mom. After all, if they begin to violate the norms accepted in the team, then this will greatly upset the “amae”. At the same time, shame will fall on her name.
So, the “slave” phase is designed to teach the child to be a part of a microgroup and act in concert with the team. In this case, the formation of the social responsibility of the growing personality.
"Equal"
From the age of 15, a child is considered an adult. He is already quite ready for the responsibility that he must bear for himself, and for his family, and for the entire state.
A young Japanese who has entered this phase of the educational process should know, and also impeccably observe, the rules that are accepted in society. Follow all the norms and traditions he needs when visiting schools. But in his free time, he is allowed to behave as he pleases. The young Japanese is allowed to wear any clothes from Western fashion or Samurai traditions.
Sons and daughters
The traditions of raising children in Japan differ depending on the gender of the child. So, the son is considered the support of the family. That is why the upbringing of a child (boy) in Japan is closely connected with the traditions of samurai. After all, they will give the future man the ability and strength to endure adversity.
According to the traditions of the Japanese people, boys are not allowed to work in the kitchen. It is believed that this is a purely female affair. But at the same time, sons are certainly recorded in various classes and circles, which is not mandatory for girls.
The basis of parenting in Japan are numerous holidays. There is a day among them dedicated to the boys. A separate holiday exists for girls.
On boys' day, multi-colored images of carps are raised in the sky. After all, only this fish is able to swim for a long time against the river course. That is why she is considered a symbol of the readiness of the boy - the future man - to ensure that he will certainly overcome all life difficulties.
What is typical for raising a girl in Japan? From a very early age, a child is raised to fulfill the functions of mother and guardian of the hearth. Girls are taught to be patient and submissive, as well as obey all men. Kids are taught to cook, wash and sew, to walk and dress beautifully, feeling like a full-fledged woman. After the lessons, they don’t have to attend the circles. Girls are allowed to sit in a cafe with girlfriends.
Secrets of parenting in Japan
The approach that residents of the Land of the Rising Sun use in pedagogy is quite interesting. However, it can be considered not just as education. This is a whole philosophy, the main direction of which is perseverance, borrowing and respect for personal space.
Teachers from many countries of the world are sure that the Japanese system, which is called Ikuji, allowed the country to achieve stunning successes in the shortest time to take its place in the list of leading countries of the world.
What are the key secrets to this approach?
- “Not individualism, but only cooperation.” This method in raising children is used to direct the "child of the Sun" along the right path.
- “Every child is welcome.” This happens because it is believed that a woman, being a mother, can be sure that she will occupy a certain position in society. It is considered a great misfortune for a man if he does not have an heir.
- "The unity of mother and child." Only a woman is engaged in raising her baby. She does not go to work until her son or daughter is 3 years old.
- "Always near". Moms follow their children everywhere. Women always carry babies with them.
- "Father is also involved in education." This happens on the long-awaited weekend.
- "The child does everything like parents, and learns to do it even better than them." Dads and mothers constantly support their child in his successes and endeavors, teaching him to imitate their behavior.
- "The educational process is aimed at developing self-control." For this, various methods and special techniques are used. One of them is “the weakening of control by the teacher.”
- “The main task of adults is to educate, not educate.” Indeed, in later life, children will have to be in some group themselves. That is why, from an early age, they learn to analyze the conflicts that arise in games.
The challenge of Japanese education
The main goal of pedagogy of the Land of the Rising Sun is to educate a team member. For residents of Japan, the interests of a corporation or firm are paramount. This is the success of the goods of this country, which they use in world markets.
It has been taught like this since childhood, that is, to be in a group and to benefit society. At the same time, every resident of the country will certainly consider that he is responsible for the quality of what he does.