Sexual education of children is a topic that is usually avoided. Parents try not to talk about forbidden topics and hide from the growing child everything that at least somehow suggests the topic of relations between a man and a woman. Of course, in this way they try to protect him from information that is difficult to accept and analyze.
And all would be well, but very often the idea of the parents that "it is too early" does not correspond to reality. Sexual education of children should begin much earlier than the puberty, and even more so before the moment when the grown-up child begins to enter into sexual relations. But on the other hand, this is not the reason for it to end.
Important need
Parents and educators need to know that sexual and sexual education of children and adolescents is not just desirable, but absolutely necessary. To form a psychologically and emotionally mature personality, attention must be paid to all areas, not excluding intimate relationships, no matter how taboo this topic may be.
There are many reasons why it is closed. A huge role in this was played by Christian morality and appropriate education. On the one hand, the Scripture says, “Be fruitful and multiply.” On the other hand, intimate relationships are declared sinful and inferior. Of course, a growing person does not understand anything about this. But add to this a physiology that makes itself felt and awakening sexuality, and you will understand what kind of cocktail of feelings a child experiences.
Lack of sexual education of children leads to inferior, distorted development. One cannot simply ignore such a powerful natural need as procreation. No matter how developed we are, the biological roots of man have not been canceled.
Improper education - problems in society
And we have to deal with this today. It is not too difficult to guess where the sexual and sexual deviations, perversions and non-traditional orientation come from. All these are trends that are gradually being developed in society. Hence the early pregnancies and abortions, single mothers, abandoned children and many other problems.
We are talking about improper upbringing in the family, that is, about all forms of its manifestation. Do not think that the problem arises only with an excess or lack of information on this issue. The role of parents' behavior and their relationship to each other plays a role, as well as the form in which spicy information is presented. Adult sites are the worst example of how a child can learn forbidden topics. They give a distorted idea of their own body and the relationship between the sexes.
Sex education of preschoolers
Most modern parents simply do not know how to properly approach this issue. Therefore, they leave it to school teachers, psychologists and yard friends. So the guys will learn about the most important of the most unreliable sources. If you do not know where to start, then a book on the sexual education of children will come to the rescue. You need to start enlightenment with yourself, then you will get a good result.
The problem is that in society and in the minds of many people a certain prohibition is programmed to discuss such topics with children, and often among themselves. Probably, many noted that children aged 4-5 ask questions about their origin. And in response they receive either an outright lie or a mysterious one: "If you grow up, you will find out."
Parenting does not equal prohibition
This is an open process. To understand something, you need to be able to discuss it. And adults prejudice and stereotypically think that sex education at an early age is not necessary. Everything has its time, they will grow up and they will understand everything themselves. Sexual relations are not only not discussed, but are prohibited both verbally (in words) and nonverbally, that is, behavior.
But all you need to know is in modern books. Sexual education of children is a topic that every parent must study. If it causes persistent hostility, then it is worth working on your settings, perhaps contact a specialist. So, thanks to our actions (or inaction), a parental program banning sexual education is formed in the child’s head. When the baby grows up, he will also not be engaged in this work with his children. And so generation after generation.
Fundamental rules
Preschool children need to instill basic hygiene and behavior skills. This is more important than any adult stories. At the same time, it is also an acquaintance with physiology, since sexual development is closely related to bodily. When caring for children, it is very important to avoid wearing clothes that hamper their movement and rub their crotch.
Education in preschool and primary school age is based on the principles of trust and goodwill. It is very important to be able to build an atmosphere of mutual respect. Then all the questions will get simple and clear answers. This means that the child will not form a fad on the topic of sex.
The relationship between boys and girls at this age is also very important. Under the guidance of an adult, such qualities as restraint, modesty, and the ability to help are formed in them. This is facilitated by a joint visit to theaters, museums, various exhibitions. That is, relations should be built on the background of the beautiful, this is an excellent foundation. Often in pre-school age the first love also happens. This should also be taken with understanding, not to make fun of a child, but to understand and support him.
Sex and sex education
I would like to draw your attention to the fact that these concepts are different from each other. Sex education is the awareness of belonging to a particular sex, the awareness of oneself as a boy or girl, the assimilation of norms and rules of behavior associated with this. Parents and carers are still somehow dealing with this. But with sex, everything is worse.
But despite the fact that they do not directly talk about this, the children observe the relations of their parents. Gestures and facial expressions, hugs and kisses, stroking - all these are the first impressions that lay the foundation for understanding the relationship between a man and a woman. Sounds of voice, emotional manifestations become an overlay, which makes it still clearer. When a child gets older, he has his own ideas and fantasies. In addition, television, the Internet, and the street begin to influence indirect sexual perception (often distorted).
Do not confuse sexual education and licentiousness. Information should be provided to the child reliable, truthful, but strictly dosed. No need to give him more than he is able to understand today. For example, a baby 3-4 years old is enough to explain that he appeared in his mother’s tummy, because mom and dad love each other.
Puberty
This age can be called very difficult. There is practically no sexual education of children at school, but it is very important. Boys and girls vaguely feel their growing sexuality and can hardly imagine where to direct this energy. To compensate for hormonal bursts, sports, communication, swimming and much more will help.
Parents should tell their children about the changes that await them. The appearance of secondary sexual characteristics is a sign that a person is growing up, it is not shameful and not scary. Girls need to be prepared for the appearance of menstruation, taught the rules of personal hygiene.
Main problems
Sexual education of children and adolescents is a complex and multifaceted topic. Adults forget themselves at this age and are judged a little down. Particularly acute is the question of masturbation and sexual relations between a boy and a girl. And in that, and in another case, having caught the teenager for such an act or suspecting him, parents fall into a state of anxiety and begin to shame him. This cannot be done. If the relationship in the family is trusting, if your child from early childhood knows what the relationship between a man and a woman is, if this topic is not taboo, then most likely he will not be pulled so soon to try the forbidden fruit.
Teenage masturbation is a completely normal phenomenon. Here you only need to be able to explain how and when it can be done, not forgetting the rules of hygiene. With a sexual relationship, things are a little more complicated. But here it is necessary to treat with understanding the entry into adulthood. It will not be superfluous to recall contraception. Of course, sexual education of girls in this regard is more complicated. The young lady must be taught dignity, modesty, wisdom.
How to raise a man
At first glance, this is easier. But it’s worth considering, and you understand that the sexual education of boys can be even more difficult. Hormones rage more strongly in them, and the natural desire for leadership creates certain problems for parents. But if you approach this issue wisely, then everything will be much simpler. It is easiest to say that you can not think about it until the age of 15, and there the boy will know everything himself. But practice shows that parental support for growing up a child is very important. It starts from the moment the boy is weaned. Now mom should not change clothes with him. To create in his head the image of a future wife, a humble and immaculate girl, she needs to behave appropriately.
Experience of different countries
Sexual education of children in Europe is usually started early, and the first teacher for the boy should be dad. It is he who teaches to respect women, to be responsive, to be able to bear responsibility for their words and deeds. From about 6 years old, the father will have to tell the growing child where the mysterious act called sex comes from. And during a confidential conversation, the son finds out that there is nothing shameful in emissions, morning erection, and other manifestations of growing up. It's just that the boy turns into a man, because it was like that with dad too.
By age 11, the boy should already know everything about contraception, sexually transmitted diseases and other problems that arise due to the fact that partners are thoughtlessly giving in to their desires. Do not panic even if a quiet and calm boy suddenly surprises with vulgar jokes. Bans only fuel interest, so just emphasize that such words are inappropriate in a decent society.
What are the results achieved
In the cultures of various peoples, the task of upbringing, including sexual education, was solved in their own way. Somewhere, the relationship between a man and a woman was presented as natural. For other nations, the topic was strictly taboo. Most often, those peoples who practiced early marriages were more calm about the topic of sex. If a girl was married off when she was not even 11 years old, then her interest in this issue might simply not have time to wake up. And then the older women shared their experiences with her.
Sexual education of children in Germany begins at the age of 4. It is a must. Each age has its own program. It covers various spheres of life and expands as a child grows up. The topics of contraception and safe sex, LGBT relationships and ways to achieve orgasm are discussed. For teenagers there are practical seminars on the use of contraception, classes are held on the topic of sexual violence and natural needs. I must say that this gives its results. For 1000 adolescents, there are only 8 cases of early pregnancy and abortion.
In Norway, sexual education of children is also compulsory and is part of the general education program for children aged 8-12. On public television broadcast programs in which they talk about growing up, secondary sexual characteristics, what menstruation and sex, as it happens. Why masturbation is not bad, and much more. The number of early pregnancies per 1000 adolescents is 9 cases.
What kind of books do parents need to read
It is very difficult to conduct a conversation with a child if you do not know how to formulate your idea of what you can say and what to leave behind the scenes for now. Books about sex education are designed to help you.
- And one of the first books for parents can be called the creation of Mervi Lindman "How I was born." The writer touches on many aspects of this issue, and makes it simple and affordable.
- Peter Mail "Where did I come from?" Another work worth exploring. The author conducts a conversation with the child, talking about the differences between a man and a woman, the formation of the fetus inside the mother, labor pains and childbirth.
- Virginie Dumont “Where did I come from? Sexual Encyclopedia for Children 5-8 Years. ” Great book in questions and answers. Moreover, questions are formulated on behalf of the child. Parents themselves can learn how to respond, or give the child a book to study.
On the shelves of bookstores you can find other works that will help in the educational process.