How to communicate with a child, Gippenreiter Yu.B. reveals in the pages of his book, which has gained popularity among parents around the world.
The main thing in communication with the child is unconditional acceptance and unconditional, invaluable love. It is unconditional, i.e. “Just like that”, exactly as it is and only for what it is. To learn to communicate precisely from the point of view of a loving and accepting parent, rather than an indignant and making a claim, to help find a solution to the problem without putting pressure on the child, Yu. Gippenreiter suggests learning to bear some responsibility for the consequences of this.
According to the author, expressing dissatisfaction with any actions of the child, it is possible to discuss and criticize only actions and deeds, as well as their consequences, but in no case the child himself. And it is imperative to focus on the fact that his action upset you, but this did not affect your attitude to the child, but only greatly upset you. Those. even condemning the child’s actions, we let him know that he is still important and valuable to us, says Julia Gippenreiter. Communicate with the child should be constantly, discuss everything that interests him, speak on any topic, openly and confidentially. However, not only the child, but also the parent is not always ready for this.
Listen to hear
So how to communicate with the child? Hippenreiter Yu.B. advises to master the technique of “active listening”, which allows you to establish contact with the interlocutor and show that his problems are close to you, that you understand and empathize with him. It is described in detail in the book by J. Hippenreiter “Communicating with a Child. How?" According to the author, to build the right dialogue and set up the child to communicate are the first steps to solving the problem.
Another technique that allows you to decide how to communicate with a child, Hippenreiter, Yu.B. calls the method "I - messages." With its help, you can express your attitude, namely your feelings about the current conflict situation, without giving an assessment of the actions of the interlocutor. An example of “I am a message” is the phrase “I am very upset over today's quarrel” instead of “You are a message” “You behaved disgustingly, and I was upset.” “I am messages”, according to the author, they do not blame, but only express your attitude to the incident, which is important in communicating with any person, and even more so with a child, teenager. Thanks to this method of communication, the child’s self-esteem does not suffer, his self-esteem does not hurt, and there is no protective negative reaction.
Theory and practice
And how to motivate a child to something, overcome resistance without breaking it and crushing parental authority, how to find a common language with a “difficult” teenager, to overcome alienation and isolation? The book contains dozens of practical tips and real stories that clearly illustrate the solution to many typical situations. After each section, homework is given to practice a particular communication technique. Performing them will allow you to master practical techniques and extract them from the back streets of memory at the right time.
To the question: "How to communicate with a child?" Hippenreiter Yu.B. does not give the only true answer. She offers to think, improve, empathize, learn to think outside the box, accept the child unconditionally and, first of all, remember that he is a loved one, a loved one, and infinitely dear to you.