Your child has long remained for you the smallest and most tender creature on earth. But time passes inexorably, and here you have a teenager who claims his rights and desires, and besides, he has many uncomfortable questions. The menstrual cycle, first and sexual fantasies, body changes and relationships with the opposite body. Subjects are very sensitive, and most parents prefer to avoid them. However, sexual education of adolescents is an extremely important issue, and ignoring it often leads to disastrous consequences.
First changes
The age at which they become especially noticeable can be different. For some it is 11 years old, for others - 14. At this time, the active development of the organism as a whole takes place. Significantly increases body weight and growth, increases efficiency, actively develops all physiological systems. But the most active glands at this time are the endocrine glands. Under their influence, even behavior changes. Sexual education of adolescents should be started as early as possible, competently answering all questions and not hushing up topics that interest him, so as not to create an informational vacuum.
School or parents
This is another important issue. More recently, sexual education of adolescents did not take place at all. Information had to be collected by the children themselves bit by bit, recognizing it from older comrades. As a result, she acted in a distorted and not always complete form. Today, society has finally come to the point that it is extremely important to educate a teenager not only in the bosom of the family, but also to conduct special education as part of school education.
The introduction of special subjects can increase the level of information awareness and enables each teenager to ask questions of interest to him. Thus, we can say that the sexual education of adolescents is the task of society as a whole. That is why today there are so many informational videos that are broadcast on television. They are designed in an accessible and simple form to convey to yesterday's child the most important information that he needs so much.
At the junction of physiology and psychology
Both the boy and the girl in their incomplete 14 years become completely different, which is often the cause of anxiety for a caring parent. Yes, and how not to worry, if an affectionate and contact child suddenly begins to shut himself in, to shut himself off, he has his own life, about which he does not want to tell anything. In fact, he himself does not fully understand what is happening to him. The fact is that the puberty is characterized by a sharp hormonal surge. It is thanks to this that the active appearance of secondary sexual characteristics, the formation of constitutional features of the body, breaking the voice and all the accompanying changes with the external and internal genital organs occur.
But that is not all. The boy and girl do not yet know what exactly is happening in their body, so all changes can be scary. The activity of the gonads easily explains the instability of vegetative functions and frequent mood swings. As you can see, changes in behavior are well founded. The increased activity of the gonads at this point also plays a role. Hormones are secreted as much as there is not even in an adult. At the same time, the teenager has no opportunity for the full realization of this energy. This translates into rudeness and stubbornness. Do not be offended, it is best to teach the child to adequately implement everything in the right direction. Interesting activities, sports, outdoor activities will help.
School Objectives
Sex education in our school is in its infancy. This is facilitated by the fact that most of the information related to sex in our society is taboo. This is a relic of the Soviet past, when sex education in school was reduced to a page in the textbook of anatomy, where the genitals of a man and a woman were drawn. But to this information there were no comments from the teacher.
Why is it recommended to work in a team? Because it is possible to invite qualified specialists and experts who will give information that each parent individually does not have in full form. Or, if he owns it, he cannot convey it to the growing child. The second point: this information immediately spreads to the entire class, that is, each of the students forms the correct idea of the nature of sexuality. As a result, it will be easier for them to have a discussion outside the classroom.
The main problems that sex education at school solves
- First of all, it is necessary to name the filling of the information vacuum. Teenagers have always been interested in forbidden topics. However, distorted or inaccurate information often does more harm than good.
- Prevention of problems that carries an early onset of sexual activity. Today, this issue is becoming increasingly relevant. Even if the fact of early adulthood continues, it is imperative that safety is maintained for both partners.
- Prevention of sexual violence. Sexual education of girls should necessarily include informing adolescents about the problem of pedophilia in order to reduce the number of adult men who abuse them.
Information block
Do not forget that information must be received promptly and strictly in the required amount. At the age of three, the question "How did I appear?" You can tell a fairy tale about the king and queen, who were very fond of each other and slept tightly hugging in one bed. And once they realized that someone appeared in the queen’s stomach. He was growing fast, and soon the court doctor said that this was a girl. Everyone was very happy. And when she grew up, she came into the world.
Usually, when a child enters the garden, the child begins to understand the difference between the sexes. And again, do not brush aside such questions. Confirm that the genitals are arranged differently, in boys they look like a faucet, and in girls they look like a click. For now, this will be enough.
When the child reaches the age of five, you can add a little information about how he got to his mother's tummy. Here it is appropriate to tell that dad gave his mother a cell himself. She connected to her mother’s cell, and a child developed from her. If the baby saw dogs or cats on the street at an intimate moment, and he again had questions, then you can stick to the same version. So the animals pass each other their cells, and soon the babies will appear in the belly of the female.
The age of 8-9 years is considered optimal for the first talk about sex. This does not mean that the child needs to be planted and lay out to him everything that you know. But, having seen the gasket advertisement, you can start a conversation with the girl about the fact that she will soon begin menstruation and her breasts will begin to grow. Now she will become even more beautiful and turn into a young girl. The husband can tactfully tell the boy about the approaching pollutions and breaking his voice. And again, it must be emphasized that this is a normal phenomenon, and it suggests that everything is in order with his body.
At about 8-9 years old, you can already talk about sex. Explain that the genitals have serious names - the penis and vagina. Hugs and kisses are very pleasant for both men and women. From this, the penis enlarges and can be inserted into the vagina like a key. Sperm cells come out of it, which connect to the female egg and form a new life. On this basis, at the age of 13-14, it will be possible to impose a conversation on contraception and protection against sexually transmitted diseases. The main thing is not to compose fairy tales and fables, but to talk with the child seriously and frankly.
What should parents learn
The issues of sexual education of adolescents seem so sensitive to us primarily because our parents did not conduct such conversations. And still, although we have grown children ourselves, talking about “this” seems too unethical. However, you should be well aware of the following points:
- Personality and sexuality are indivisible. This rule also applies to sex education, which cannot be considered separately. The child just needs to be properly educated, communicate with him and answer his questions.
- Sexual education work with adolescents should be carried out long before they reach this very age. All the questions that the child asks should be taken seriously, and the answer to them is built as competently as possible. No need to tell a three-year-old baby fairy tales about a stork. It is enough to say now that the parents love each other and therefore a baby appeared in the mother’s tummy. As it grows, it will be possible to increase the amount of information.
- In fact, to give a child a competent idea of an intimate life is no more difficult than to teach any other things.
Basic rules for parents
We are all from Soviet childhood, which leaves its mark. But in fact, the sexual education of adolescents by parents is a consequence of correctly developed trusting relationships. At home they will always listen to him, they will believe him and protect him. If parents were able to prove in practice that they deserve this trust, then no problems will arise in the future.
The second point is the identity of the parent himself. Sexual education problems are often associated with the fact that an adult has to meet with their complexes and problems, to conduct internal work on them. And the most important thing is not to pass them on to your child. It is only about the attitude to your body and the process of conception as such. It should be uniquely positive. There is nothing wrong with the body.
Well, one more thing: in the process of sex education, a very important role is played by the situation in the family. Normal, trusting and warm relations between mom and dad contribute to the child's natural perception of sex-role differences between men and women.
Pedagogy of sex education
Of course, not all parents are teachers and psychologists, so this aspect of education is perceived with certain difficulties. Moreover, sex education of the younger generation is one of the weakest areas of modern and, in particular, family pedagogy. Not all parents, like teachers, fully understand what is included in it.
Gender problems of sexual education of adolescents are acute in single-parent families, where the parent brings up children of the opposite sex. However, a married couple sometimes cannot decide who will talk with their daughter or son on a particular topic. However, the main thing here is to understand that sex education is a complex of pedagogical influences on the educated. This issue is considered from two sides:
- This is an integral part of moral education. If the child has clearly formed concepts such as girlish honor, moral purity, male dignity, respect for women, friendship and love, then consider that you have fulfilled your mission.
- The second aspect is the socio-hygienic problem, which is associated with health and well-being. That is, a certain minimum of knowledge is simply necessary.
It is the full disclosure of these two aspects that implies sexual education. Topics should be raised as the child's interest develops. It is impossible to separate sex education from the development of moral qualities.
The main tasks that are common for family and school
The sex education program for adolescents should be unified, as it serves the same purposes. Today in our society there is a tendency to conduct promiscuous sexual life, the number of divorces is growing. And it affects the demographic situation far from the best way. The concepts of civil and guest marriage that have appeared and become stronger bring their confusion into the general picture of the world, which the children absorb. There is nothing better for forming the right model of the world and sex-role relationships than the model of a strong and friendly family.
Based on this, let's formulate the main tasks that pursue the sexual education of adolescents, and the role of the school in this matter:
- Formation of a positive attitude to a healthy lifestyle and a desire to have a real, friendly family.
- Help in understanding their needs and adequate ways to meet them.
- Providing children with competent information that will make it possible to understand what is happening to them and adapt to changes.
- Raising a sense of respect for other people, male and female.
The school is a social institution where boys and girls learn not only to read and write, but also to build their first relationships with members of the opposite sex. Therefore, educators no less than parents should be involved in the process. Their tasks are even more global, since the correction of the sexual education of adolescents launched in the family rests on the shoulders of a school teacher or social worker.
The main directions of sex education
We have already considered the main tasks in accordance with which the work of both teachers and parents needs to be built. The sexual education of girls in the classical sense will be aimed at creating an understanding of themselves as the guardians of the family hearth, traditions, and continuers of the clan. Boys learn respect for a woman, gentle and careful attitude to her, protection. Thus, several areas of sexual education can be formulated:
- Sex-role education. It helps to shape psychological masculinity and femininity. In addition, it is at school that children learn to establish effective communications among themselves, as representatives of a male and female gender.
- Sexual education. It is aimed primarily at the optimal formation of sexual erotic orientations.
- Preparing for a responsible marriage. First of all, mutually responsible partnerships should be worked out here.
- Preparing for responsible parenthood.
- The idea of a healthy lifestyle should pass here as a red thread. It is assimilated through an explanation of the dependence of sexuality, marriage and parenthood on such bad habits as alcoholism and drug addiction, on infidelity and related sexually transmitted diseases.
Sexual education methods for adolescents
We already well understood what tasks we are facing so that the future generation will normally enter adulthood. At the same time, I want to note that not so much is required from parents and teachers to carry out these tasks. The main tool is communication. First of all, you need to establish contact with the child and gain his trust, and then carry out the educational process. However, communication is different. Today we highlight two main ones that can be used:
- Orienting communication methods are unhurried conversations and explanations in the process of communication. The most effective way of such communication is the question-answer option. Discussion of various situations and lectures is another form of educational activities.
- Methods of upbringing communication - this is another large section that says that a person in the process of upbringing not only learns some norms and rules, but also experiences some feelings that form mental neoplasms. Sex education cannot be reduced only to the assimilation of certain norms. Among the methods of upbringing, one can single out the reception of positive samples of sex-role behavior, as well as methods of approval and disapproval. However, they act only because they cause certain emotions. Therefore, the correct choice of means of influence and an individual approach are so important.
Best helpers
Most parents are faced with the fact that they lack the right words and explanations, especially when it comes to sex education. A book is the best help. Choose a good encyclopedia and give it to a teenager when he turns 10-12 years old. His interest in forbidden topics will only grow, and when he comes up with the question of who is gay or transvestite, you can always refer to the book. For example: "In the encyclopedia, this question is better sanctified, let's see together."
Sexual education of a child is a joint journey into the world of adults. From the very first days of his life, you have taught the baby so many things that for you this is a familiar thing. All the difficulties that arise with sex education are associated only with our own fears and complexes and shame. Do not focus on this so as not to pass them on to the child. Answer calmly and accurately. , .
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There is a lot of literature on store shelves, but far from everything is suitable for educating a teenager literally. Moreover, there are books that are best read by parents in order to be able to correctly tell the child about everything that interests him. Among them are:
- “From Diapers to First Dates” D. Huffner.
- “Where did I come from. Sexual Encyclopedia for Children 5-8 Years ”V. Dumont.
- “Encyclopedia of sexual life for children 7-9 years old. Physiology and Psychology. " C. Verdu.
If you want to additionally give a teenager the opportunity to read and find answers to questions on his own, it is recommended to buy him a book “My body is changing. Everything that teens want to know and what parents are embarrassed to talk about ”by Clever. Having presented this book, do not forget to tell your child that you are open to dialogue, and that he will read everything here, you can discuss additionally.