Children are the flowers of our lives. But often they cause a lot of trouble with their uncontrolled behavior. Sometimes they experience sudden emotional outbursts. Short-term tantrums may also appear in children 2-3 years old. Such seizures, at first glance, can begin and end completely without reason. This is what very worries parents. After all, when you do not understand the reasons for what is happening, it is difficult to figure out what influenced such an emotional manifestation and how to help your baby. Dramatically in this situation, parents can only help a qualified child psychologist. But some do not even have a clue what to do if a child at 3 years old has temper tantrums, why this happens. This is what will be discussed in the article.
What are children's tantrums?
Hysteria is a strong nervous excitement, accompanied by a nervous breakdown and loss of self-control. As a rule, this can be observed during the period when the child is 3-5 years old. Tantrums at this time are manifested by a loud scream of children, heavy crying, waving arms and legs. He can even ride from the excess of emotions on the floor. In the process of a seizure, the baby is not able to adequately respond to questions from parents and their soothing actions. He sometimes does not even hear the admonitions of adults. Therefore, the usual methods of sedation do not affect the child.
Hysteria as a way of manipulation
According to psychologist Elena Makarenko, hysteria in children of 3 years old, up to the age of five, can be a way of manipulating parents. If with this help the kids can achieve the goal they aspired to, they will use this method constantly. Moreover, they can start testing this technique even from two years old. Although, in addition to the manipulative, there are many more reasons for a child to behave inappropriately at 3-4 years. Tantrums suddenly appear in him and just as unexpectedly stop, puzzling parents and absolutely not shedding light on what needs to be done and how to resist it.
Such a strange behavior of a child cannot be ignored completely. Because the reasons can be much deeper than simple manipulation by adults. Against the background of misunderstanding and unwillingness of adults to delve into the problems of crumbs, she can develop such a very unpleasant nervous disease as hysteria. But in this case, you need to react correctly.
The correct reaction of adults and the nuances of tantrums in two years
But what tactics should parents choose if the child’s tantrum is 3 years old? What to do - do not react in any way or punish how for misconduct, reassure or try to prevent? Adults need to pay attention to what factors were provoking for the emergence of hysteria, and on the basis of this already build their tactics. But one thing is obvious - it is impossible to leave this important issue without attention in any case. In the search for the causes of the child's hysterical behavior, attention should be paid to some features characteristic of different ages.
At the age of two, babies often use hysteria to attract the attention of adults. This is especially true in crowded places where the attention of parents is directed not at the child, but at other things and objects. As a rule, this happens in stores and on children's entertainment venues to get the desired toy or a visit to the attraction. The seizure is accompanied by screams and crying, because at his too young age the child does not know how to protest against the prohibitions of his parents in another way. A hysteria can also happen due to the tiredness of the baby or because he is hungry. The baby can stomp her legs and scatter toys when she does not like the change of daily routine or the attention of adults is reduced. In many cases, this is the fault of the child’s behavior in family tensions, where adults find out their relations, quarrel, get divorced, not understanding how harmful this affects their young.
Three year old child. Why does he have tantrums?
When a tantrum occurs in children 3 years old, its causes are already deeper and more diverse. Psychologists consider this age to be the most critical for the manifestation of such seizures. At this time, an emotional breakdown can occur literally from scratch. At this vital frontier, even the most obedient and quiet children begin to show obstinacy and disobedience. Of course, due to the personality of the character, these manifestations may differ in intensity and power, but they necessarily appear.
Suddenly, the baby ceases to listen to the instructions of adults and begins to be stubborn, show independence and self-will, act contrary to what parents require of him. Most often, this is a way to achieve what the child wants. After all, he still does not know how to concede or find compromises. If hysteria occurs in children 3 years old, it is very important to make sure that this does not become a habitual manipulation of the parents for the baby. Once yielding to such a requirement of the child, be prepared for the fact that this method has already been adopted by him. And he will continue to use such an effective means of obtaining the desired.
If adults manage to resist the little tricks of their baby and this does not become a habit in him, then literally by four or five years old the tantrums will stop. The child will become older and will already be able to more clearly express their desires and protests in a verbal way. This will make him calmer, and his emotions will become more controlled.
Causes of Tantrums
If hysteria occurs in children 3 years old, then there must be reasons for this. And a small person has a large number of them:
- lack of attention, desire to attract the attention of adults;
- a way to achieve the desired;
- dissatisfaction with the actions or words of adults;
- lack of sleep;
- hunger or thirst;
- weather effect - heat, cold, rain;
- severe tiredness;
- unwell, the onset of the disease;
- imitation of adult behavior;
- too persistent manifestation of guardianship;
- frequent punishments.
According to psychologist Elena Makarenko, who conducts training for parents on this issue, the main reason for tantrums is prohibitions and punishments. Also, the child is well able to learn from someone else's experience. If he sees that this behavior helped the other child to achieve the goal, then he will certainly use this scheme. Parents should not perceive such behavior of a child as a desire to anger them. Since the baby does not yet understand such subtleties, he just wants to defend his opinion and outlook on life. What should parents do if a child has a tantrum of 3 years? What to do in order to stop her and soothe the baby?
What should parents do with children's tantrums?
Since the main percentage of tantrums falls on drawing attention to the person of the child, adults should work to help the baby learn to express their desires in a more relaxed way. If a child throws tantrums at 3 years old, then he should clearly demonstrate that this method is ineffective. And if he calmly asks for something and tries to convince his parents that it is important for him, he will be able to achieve what he wants much faster.
When you can trace what factors influence the adequacy of a child’s behavior, you will be able to simply prevent their occurrence. In any case, you need to teach the baby to properly respond to a variety of things and situations that can provoke tantrums in a 3-year-old child. Tips for parents will help you understand in which case and how to behave with a haggard child.
rules
First of all, parents themselves must learn to notice in time the characteristic changes in the mood of the child and control the arrival of emotional outbreaks. But if the seizure has already begun, parents need to follow these simple rules:
- In no case do not panic, remain completely calm and defiantly show that such an ugly behavior of a child will not catch you.
- Note what exactly served as the catalyst for children's hysteria - maybe to calm the child it’s enough to stop making long visits with your friends and acquaintances, where he may be bored and tiring. Perhaps he was upset by failures in a computer game or some kind of television program. Or maybe he begins to increase body temperature due to illness, and the baby, feeling unwell, whimpers and nags. Replacing the problematic activities with others that have a positive effect, or having completed the treatment on time, you will not tolerate hysteria and stop these problems in the bud.
- Try to ignore the emotional explosion, remaining completely indifferent to screaming and crying.
- If the hysteria is just beginning and has not gained much strength, you can try to find mutual understanding with the baby, wondering what upset him so, or turn his attention to something interesting to him. Often a distracting maneuver is very effective and causes the child not to fall into hysteria.
- If you clearly see that this is a manipulation, stay steadfast and do not give in until the baby asks for something calmly.
- Often the usual caress - stroking the head or body, patting on the back, clutching yourself - solves the problem very quickly.
- Never try to punish a child during a tantrum - you will achieve the exact opposite result. All conversations about improper behavior and parental maxims should be rescheduled to the time when the baby calms down and can adequately perceive them and take note.
Night tantrums
Very often there are night tantrums in a child of 3 years. This is also a very common phenomenon, which happens in almost all babies. This is usually observed about an hour after falling asleep and can happen several times a night. This can provoke a poorly ventilated room, a terrible tale told at night, or something that struck the imagination of a crumbs cartoon. This is easy to cope with - caress, calm, stay awhile with the baby, and she will fall asleep in a sweet sleep.
But what if a child at 3 years old has a tantrum at night very often, or even several times a night? More serious and painstaking measures will be required. In this case, try to ask the child what is behind his nightmare. Analyze how his day went, what he did and with whom he talked, what games he played and what films he watched. Knowing the reason why a child at 3 years old wakes up with a tantrum at night, you can fight his seizures.
How to avoid night tantrums? Rules for preparing for bed
In any case, you need to learn how to properly prepare your baby for sleep:
- Make sure that the child’s room is well ventilated before bedtime - oxygen-rich air contributes to a sound and peaceful sleep.
- Pay attention to the fact that closer to bedtime he doesn’t play active exciting games - it’s better to draw or amuse the figures calmly, this will relax his nerves and allow him to calmly go to bed.
- After hygienic procedures, do not put your baby to sleep immediately - read something good and pleasant so that he sees magical dreams and is not afraid of anything.
- Decorate a fun and pleasant nursery, buy some nice nightlight in the form of a good smiling face, so that, waking up in the middle of the night, the baby finds himself in a calm, familiar atmosphere and can continue his dream.
Prevention of hysterical outbreaks in children
What should parents do when constant tantrums occur in a 3-year-old child? The advice of psychologists is that it is better not to allow them. If the baby begins to act up, try to find out the reason that worsened his mood. Perhaps the reason for the annoyance is so insignificant that avoiding the tantrum will be very easy. Very well, you can distract the child from the vagaries, if you make him laugh. A good mood immediately returns to him, and he laughs with pleasure. A child should be taught by his own example how to clearly express different emotions - anger, joy, anger, fatigue, fear, simple irritation, displeasure with someone else’s actions, and so on, that you don’t need to throw tantrums, but to solve the disagreements through negotiations and compromises.
As a result, the baby must learn that the desired can be obtained in a less nervous way, especially since in the adult world tantrums will not help him in any way, but the correct negotiation is very useful. Of course, the development of such a science will take not a day or a month, but it is worth it. In addition, it disciplines and stops tantrums in a 3-year-old child. The advice of a psychologist will not be superfluous and will help save you and your baby from problems. Here are some recommendations that will allow you to exclude from your relationship any tantrums as a phenomenon. Compliance with these rules will make calmer not only the child, but also his parents, who will have to demonstrate to the baby all these psychological wisdom and an acceptable model of behavior in society and the family by example.
Recommendations for parents from psychologists
It is possible to avoid tantrums in a child of 3 years. The advice of psychologists will help to correctly build preventive measures. Experts will tell you how to properly respond to hysterical discontent of children by adults. Remember these simple rules and follow them in communication with the child:
- Strict adherence to the daily regimen will eliminate such annoying factors as fatigue, drowsiness, and hunger. Accustomed to a clear schedule, the child’s body will not declare its needs at the wrong time and will relieve the child of discomfort, and you - of his tantrums about this.
- Preparing the baby for the changes in life that will happen when he goes to kindergarten. Tell him in detail what will happen in this new life for him and how he is supposed to behave in new circumstances.
- Demonstration of the firmness of the parent word that no tantrums will force you to change your mind, but you can hear the baby’s arguments about the ban, and if they are reasonable and do not damage his safety, you can come to an option that will satisfy him.
- The need for bans - no need to veto literally everything. A weighty parental ban should relate to serious and significant things and should be clear to the child, because it is not at all the same thing - to eat something at inopportune times and to walk on the roadway or to swim in the river unaccompanied by adults.
- Having a choice - teach your child to make a choice, allowing him to make an important decision for himself: take a typewriter or soldier with him in a kindergarten, put on a jacket or overalls, tie a bow or use a hair clip. All this is very useful in life, and with age, the tasks can be complicated.
Tips from a practicing psychologist Elena Makarenko
Remember, the child urgently needs the attention of parents and other close relatives. He must be sure that he is loved at home and is always glad to see him - this feeling of need is much more reassuring than simple words.
And finally, some practical advice from Elena Makarenko:
- During hysteria, calmly tell the baby: “My little sun, I don’t understand what you want, when you scream like that, please say it all calmly so that I can hear it.”
- If a tantrum is already raging with might and main, then it is better to leave the baby alone, watching it slowly - when the object for which this idea was started is eliminated, the tantrum will become unnecessary and subside by itself.
- After a seizure, do not scold or reproach the child, just calmly explain to him that when he screams, it is impossible to hear and understand him.
- Do not flatter yourself that once ignored hysteria will remain in the past - it will take some time to consolidate the material and move to a new communication model. Be patient and consistent in your quest to rid the child of hysterical fits.
Little conclusion
Now you know why there are tantrums in children of three years. Understanding the psychological background of this behavior of your child will help to find a common language with him and always understand each other.