It is proved that children who were not punished in childhood are less aggressive. What is rudeness? First of all, this is revenge for the pain. Punishments can cause a deep resentment, which can drown out everything, including the common sense of the baby. In other words, the child can not throw out the negative, he begins to burn the baby from the inside. Therefore, children can break down on younger brothers and sisters, curse with elders, offend pets. How to raise a child without screaming and punishment? Let's figure it out!
Punishment: what is it and what does it eat with?
Punishment is a kind of additional motivator that should deter the child from taking any action, while the baby should not be afraid of him at all, but of the consequences of his actions.
If you are planning to punish your child, think about whether you understand the reasons that prompted him to do so. Are you not going to punish the baby?
Remember that if you do not forbid something, then this is allowed. In addition, if the child committed the misconduct for the first time, then it should be explained to him that this is bad, because perhaps he simply did not know this. Warn the baby about the possible consequences of his misconduct. In addition, you should not criticize the child, but his actions. If you are ready to scream, it is better to start talking in a whisper.
Before punishment, look in the mirror. Very often, the causes of poor child behavior lie in the parents themselves. If the baby is behaving badly, most likely, he takes an example from you.
What do we teach a child by punishing him? To lie, dodge, in every possible way to avoid reprisal. What for? Remember that there are natural consequences of the actions of the baby. The child learns everything from his own experience, therefore it is better to concentrate his attention on this.
Example - a baby scattered toys all over the room, and now for the third hour he has been looking for his beloved bear. Here it is - punishment without screaming and reproach.
How to raise a baby? Allow him to learn from his own experience, even if he is negative.
To educate without punishing?
A child who was brought up without punishment will not become an egoist. Selfishness is not a trait that can be brought up by a rational approach. Who are egoists? Most of them are disliked children who, as adults, try to catch up with what they missed.
Parenting without punishment is a lot of hard and daily work for both parents. First of all, this is work on yourself. Why? Because no matter how we behave or how we act, the children will still be like us - our parents.
How to raise a child without screaming and punishment? Tips & Tricks
Too many parents doubt whether they are raising their child correctly. One of the main doubts is whether to punish the baby? Answer: not always. The following are the principles of education without punishment, whining and screaming.
That parent, who voluntarily chose the option of education without punishment, will face many difficulties and difficulties. The main thing is to remember that the absence of a punitive factor emanating from parents does not mean permissiveness at all. This option of education does not mean that the baby will not have any rules and norms of behavior.
Patience
Those parents who decide to raise children without punishment and scream must go a long, full of obstacles. Patience is what they should show in the first place in relation to their child. Moms and dads promise many problems this way, however, if all conditions are met, the child will grow up into a self-sufficient and, most importantly, happy person.
Love for children
How to raise a child without screaming and punishment? First of all, to love him. We need to love children not for what they give us, for example, a sense of pride, confidence, but just like that - for the fact that you have them. Undoubtedly, punishing a baby is much easier than sitting and figuring out why he is behaving badly. However, this is the main egoism of parents and other relatives. In an effort to make life easier for themselves, they infringe on their child, and although he is small, he is still a personality.
Baby adoption
One of the most difficult parental tasks is to accept the child as he is, including his vagaries, problems and other troubles. Education without screaming and tantrums, first of all, is that the baby always feels that his mother and father appreciate and love him.
Attention
Adequate attention paid to the child is one of the main secrets of how to raise children without punishment. In most cases, it is precisely the lack of parental attention that is the main cause of childhood disobedience.
Recognition of the child as an individual
The kid from the youngest years, when he still does not know how to walk or speak, is already able to choose a toy or clothes. The child already has its own feelings, and joys, and suffering. How to raise a child without a scream? In no case do not neglect the baby and do not show disrespect for him. Because it destroys children's personality.
Parenting by example
If you are teaching a child not to litter on the street, please do not do it yourself. You forbid the kid to tell a lie? Do not lie yourself. And do not even embellish or be silent. The rules offered to the child must be followed by the whole family. Education without screaming and tantrums is based on the baby's need to behave like an adult. Mirroring parental actions, manners and behavior is a programmed subconscious process.
Do not push on the child
Remember the simple rule of how to raise a child without any punishment: the more you press on the baby, the more he will resist. If you constantly tell the child: do not, do not touch, remove the toys, do it, do not go there - a tense atmosphere is created in the house. Of course, the baby will develop a desire to escape or somehow fence off. This he will do, throwing tantrums to his parents, being capricious and protesting.
Will there be much greater power for each force?
If you are wondering about how to raise a child without a scream, a belt, then you understand that, as soon as the baby grows up, your financial and power authority will be lost. It is then that understanding will come that punishment is a gross mistake of upbringing, but it will be too late.
Consistency - the main assistant
Often the cause of the baby's whims is precisely the unstable behavior of the mother. Today it requires one thing, tomorrow another one, the day after tomorrow a third. And how to understand it? In addition, at home, she permits certain actions, but in public, on the contrary, prohibits. Naturally, the child first tries to adapt to the changing requirements, although he does not see a holistic system, then he gets confused, falls into confusion, is afraid. Of course, conflict becomes inevitable. In addition, imagine the condition of the child, if, among other things, there is a difference between the requirements of mom and dad!
Consistency is one of the main secrets in how to raise a child without screaming and punishing. Let the child know: all that you promised - you will fulfill. If you said that this month do not buy him a toy - do not buy. If you promised not to give sweets before dinner - do not give. Otherwise, the baby will learn the rule: if you can’t do it today, and tomorrow you can, then you can always.
In addition, for the child to be able to realize what is required of him, the reaction of the mother should be the same at least five times. Only then the baby will understand what he should do and what is prohibited.
Promotion
Another secret of how to raise children without punishment. The kid will quickly forget about the punishment threatening him for pranks, while presentations for good behavior are remembered for a long time.
Parent must evolve
Everyone knows that children are lovers of complex and unusual issues. In order for the kid not to take you by surprise with his question, you must constantly learn something new and develop intellectually.
Do not succumb to provocations
Often, to achieve the desired, the baby begins to scream and roll up scandals. Be indifferent to such behavior.
How to raise a child without screaming and punishment? How to learn this skill?
When you study books on the proper upbringing of children, you are in complete confidence that you will never, under any circumstances, scream at your baby. Yes, and how can it be? And to punish is a guard at all! After all, every mother of a new generation knows that Spock's theory is nothing more than violence against the personality of the child, which at least needs to be respected. So, what do parents need to know about how to raise a child without a cry?
One of the ways of self-expression is pranks and whims
When the baby does not have enough freedom, he begins to spoil his parents in every possible way: he will shout, he will coat the cat with chocolate oil, or he will draw a wallpaper.
Often, the vagaries of a child appear during crisis periods, for example, there is a crisis of three years and a transition period. There are four of them: the crisis of the first year of life, three years, which happens in the interval from two to four years; seven years old and adolescence. Therefore, if you see that the child’s behavior has changed a lot, pay attention to whether he is in one of the above age categories. Indeed, if so, then this is not whims at all, but the next stage of development.
Each year, it is necessary to give the baby more free space and time, and not add to him household chores. Because freedom is, first of all, independent decision making.
Natural consequences
As we have already found out, the natural consequences of pranks and actions are the best punishment. Allow them.
Find a way out together
Try to feel the way out of this situation with your child. For example, if he took someone else's thing, talk to him that the owner will probably be upset if he does not find the missing one. Maybe this thing is very dear to him. She must be returned urgently!
Ask interest
Parents need to make sure that the right behavior arouses interest in the baby, instead of looping the child on the possible bad consequences of his actions. How to understand this? The parent does not tell the baby that if he touches the flower, he will stand in the corner, but says: "Sit here and ride the car, I will come soon."
What to do with young children?
A small child is one who is not yet able to realize either the incorrectness of his actions or their consequences. Naturally, explaining this to him is useless. What should be done? Physically remove the baby from the hazardous environment and create a safe environment for him. For example, if a child crawls to a stray dog, then you can distract him with a toy or take him to another yard.
Talk with baby
Do not forget to chat with the baby. Explain to him what is good and what is bad. You can simulate the situation using the example of dolls or solve the issue in the game.
In addition, children are extremely intelligent creatures, and very often you can learn everything directly from them. Just ask the child in the midst of hysteria, why does he behave this way, what does he achieve with his bad behavior. Perhaps the baby will answer all your questions.
Be reasonable in your inhibitions
There is no need to impose bans on those actions of the baby that he needs to perform. He could not physically be able to sit quietly and calmly for about forty minutes in a queue for a doctor. Children need to play, run and jump, because this is their nature. But the desire to have a “comfortable” baby is a selfish whim of parents.
Fairytale therapy is one of the methods that allows you not to punish a child for what they have done, but to try to figure out the reasons for such behavior. Come up with a fairy tale whose main character will be like your baby. Bring the development of the conflict to a climax, and then tell on the example of this hero how to behave, how to ask for help, how to apologize.
Another variant of the same method: in the process of developing an action, ask what your child’s opinion is about why, for example, Vasya is rude to adults, offends his mother and spits. Most likely, the child will tell you about the reasons for his own bad behavior. If you listen to his answers, you can understand everything.