Probably, everyone had to watch an unpleasant scene in the supermarket or in the market, when a young mother tries to drag a screaming 4-5-year-old child by the hand, demanding to buy him a car, a gun, a doll, candy, ice cream - the list goes on and on. All her attempts are in vain - from her cry, the child seems to be recharged with energy, and his cry and cry turn into a real hysteria.
Many sympathetic women try to calm him down. No one pays attention to the fact that the little "blackmailer" is carefully watching what is happening around him. If you imagine that at some point everyone will turn their backs and begin to go about their own business, then the baby will calm down very quickly and turn his attention to something else.
Usually a capricious child is one who could not be taught to communicate, talk, and in his arsenal of means to achieve the desired only experience gained up to a year. Namely - I lie and scream.
The psychology of a child up to a year is entirely aimed at communicating with adults surrounding him, primarily with his mother. First, he gets attention to himself, using crying. Unfortunately, in the absence of proper attention, this weapon remains in small hands for years.
I would not want to upset many parents, but if you have a moody child, then
you are not his authority. Imagine a very common situation that illustrates the collapse of the parents' pedestal. The young mother has been talking enthusiastically on the phone with her friend for almost an hour.
The child wanders around the apartment, not knowing what to do with himself. He asks mom to give him an apple. Mother dismisses him and drives her to her room. But he does not leave, he stands nearby, begins to sob, falls to the floor, aching, and voices. As you understand, the conversation with a friend is spoiled, the mother goes to the refrigerator with irritation and brings the child two apples.
The child very quickly realizes that Mom’s “no” is not at all final, therefore, listening to Mom is not necessary at all, and he is the main one in the house - he got an apple, and even two.
The capricious child begins to realize that mother is absolutely indifferent, that in fact he needed not an apple, but attention. There is a classic picture of farms. The older the child becomes, the more expensive it will cost parents such a substitution of attention.
Very often, communication with a child in many mothers comes down to several trainer commands - “sit, I said,” “removed his hands,” etc. When such a mother says: “I have a moody child, what should I do with him?” , as it seems to us, lies on the surface. It is necessary to stop communicating with him as with a trained animal.
The child grows, changes, and parents often do not keep pace with him. If the relationship of parents to their beloved child does not change, then his whims will not disappear even over the years. Before you lament that you have a moody child, start with yourself. Learn to communicate with him as an adult, do not "lisp", do not try to fulfill any of his whims, explain to the baby every decision you make.