Children of any age quickly get used to sleeping with their parents. Babies who slept with them in the same bed from birth can then be very difficult to put into a crib for a night's sleep. How to teach a child to sleep separately from parents? We will tell you more about this in our article.
Optimum age for independent sleep
Of course, the most important thing in the life of a newborn baby is that her mother is always there. Therefore, parents, in order to ensure the most comfortable psychological conditions for the baby, put him to sleep next to them. But as the little man grows up, they are puzzled by the question: "How to teach a child to sleep separately from his parents?"
Psychologists say that the most suitable age for shifting a baby into their own crib is 2 years. But this statement does not fit all the kids. Parents need to carefully watch their baby. This will help to see when he will be ready to move to his bed.
How to understand that a child can sleep alone?
So, to determine whether the child is ready to sleep on their own in their crib, parents should pay attention to the following points:
- The process of breastfeeding is safely completed.
- The baby sleeps for several hours in a row (5-6) and does not wake up.
- The child can independently spend time in the room (20 minutes) and at the same time not call an adult.
- When he wakes up and does not see his mother next to him, he reacts normally (does not cry).
- The baby does not often ask in the arms of his mother.
- The child has a concept of his property (“mine”).
If parents can give a positive answer to all of the above questions, then we can say with confidence that the child is ready to move to their bed.
When is it worth the time?
The question of how to teach a child to sleep separately from parents independently should be taken very responsibly. Extreme measures and coercive actions can cause psychological trauma to the child, as a result of which he will have various phobias and fears. Therefore, in the following cases, you should wait a bit with "relocation":
- The kid is irritable, crying, at times falls into hysteria.
- He has a birth injury or serious pathology.
- The baby is ill.
- The baby's teeth are cut.
- Change of climate, time zones, familiar surroundings.
- The child undergoes adaptation in kindergarten.
- Mom is pregnant (in this case, it was worth putting the baby in the crib long before an important event).
All these cases are a serious reason to postpone the decision on how to teach a child to sleep separately from his parents.
Independent sleep of children in 1 year
Without a mother, children who have been sleeping next to her since birth usually refuse to sleep. Of course, for mom after pregnancy and childbirth, a joint sleep with the baby is a very good option. Therefore, most often adults begin to think about how to teach a child to sleep separately from their parents, at 1 year old.
Until this time, babies often wake up due to activity or the need for motion sickness, as well as to eat. Adults should know the important conditions that must be observed in order to solve the problem of how to teach a child to fall asleep separately from parents:
- Putting your baby to sleep is better at the same time.
- You can not miss a day's sleep due to the fact that the child falls asleep better in the evening. In the mode of children up to a year, he must be present.
- Observe the feeding regimen so that the child does not wake up feeling hungry after falling asleep.
How to teach a child to sleep independently in 1 year?
One-year-old children need to be accustomed to independent sleep in stages. It’s better to start with a nap. When the mother puts the baby in the crib, you must definitely sit with him, pat him on the head or give him a hand. You can offer your baby a new "friend" - a toy.
Now there are a lot of hugging toys, which are very convenient to take with you to the crib. Children with them usually fall asleep more calmly. Mom does not need to leave the room for the first time, for example, she can read or knit while sitting close to the crib. Gradually, when the child gets used to it, it will be possible to leave him to fall asleep alone.
Estivil Method
This technique is designed for children 1-2 years old. In foreign countries, it is considered the most common. This is an effective method that will help solve the problem of how to teach a child to sleep separately from parents.
At 3 years old this method will not work. Children over three years old are already quite violently protesting against the will of their parents, so using this method can cause great harm to the child, causing a strong emotional shock.
What is the essence of the technique of Esteville? The author says that parents should leave immediately after they put the child in a separate crib. If the baby got up in it, cries or screams, then mom does not need to immediately approach him. It is necessary to wait a minute for the first time, and only then come in, put the baby in the crib and leave again. And so gradually increase the intervals of returning to the room. Sooner or later, the baby will fall asleep.
When mom returns to the bedroom, she makes it clear to the baby that he is not alone, that he was not abandoned. The key to success will be peace and perseverance of parents. The Esteville method can be used only if the child does not have any psychological or neurological pathologies.
Independent sleep of children 2 years
How to teach a child to sleep separately from parents at 2 years old? It is already possible to negotiate with such children and clarify the situation. It is necessary to explain to the crumb that each member of the family should have his own bed. It is necessary to tell the child that he is already an adult and may well sleep in his bed.
Usually children of this age imitate adults, so the likelihood that a son or daughter agrees to go to bed in the afternoon is quite high. Gradually, the baby will get used to the new bed and will stay there for the night.
It is better to put the crib next to the parent for the first time, since it is important for the child to know that they are nearby. Psychologists do not recommend adults to euthanize a child next to themselves, and then transfer it to their crib. This method works only the first couple of times, and then the baby becomes moody and restless: he will be afraid to wake up at night alone.
Independent sleep of children of three years
Children of this age are big dreamers, so parents will have to show not only patience, but also turn on the wit. Fairy tales for the night, amazing stories will help adults in solving the problem of how to teach a child to sleep separately from parents.
At 3 years old, you can say that at night he will be transferred to a magical land or a fairy tale where any wishes will be fulfilled. Also, the “training” method works well with children of two or three years old: the child needs help to choose a comfortable posture for sleeping. It so happens that children simply can not comfortably lie down. If the baby wants to take a toy with him to the crib, he must definitely allow it.
How to teach a child to sleep independently at 4-5 years old?
As a rule, children 4-5 years old refuse to sleep in a separate room or in their bed for certain reasons:
- fear of the dark;
- fear of an unknown creature or monster;
- scary fantasies;
- fear of death.
How to teach a child to sleep separately from parents? At 4 years of age and older, children can fall asleep better if a nightlight is lit in the room. Also, parents with a child must necessarily talk about his fears and feelings and try to convince him that he is absolutely not at risk from home.
The kid should understand that mom or dad is nearby in the next room and, if necessary, they will come to the rescue.
Why do children sleep poorly at 6-7 years old?
There are some children who cannot sleep separately from their parents, even at the senior preschool age. Usually the reason for this is various phobias and fears, as in five-year-olds.
Children who go to school may be worried about grades, lessons, or fear of being disapproved by the teacher. How to teach a child to sleep separately from parents at 6 years old (7 years old)? The method of gradual adaptation will help here, but it can be reduced.
Of course, parents need to talk as much as possible with the child, find out the reason for his fear. Children at any age should feel the help and support of their parents, feel that they are not alone, that in case of danger they will certainly help.
If parents cannot cope with the problem of how to teach a child to sleep separately from their parents at the age of 7, on their own, a child psychologist should be involved.
Gradual removal
A good method that will help solve the problem of how to teach a child to sleep separately from parents at 5 years of age and older is the method of gradual removal. Mom should tell the baby that every day she will move further from the crib and stay there until he falls asleep. It will look something like this:
- In the first 2-3 days you can sit next to the child on the bed.
- Then, for two days, mom sits next to the bed until the baby falls asleep.
- In the next couple of days, my mother does not wait until the baby falls asleep. After sitting near the crib for a short time, she leaves, but remains in the field of vision of the child.
- In the following days, mother leaves the door, but first you need to sit a little with the child near the bed.
The door to the room should be closed only when the baby will fall asleep calmly alone.
Special rituals
In order for the child to fall asleep sooner, it is necessary to perform the same actions daily. This is an evening swim, watching a cartoon, reading a fairy tale, talking with mom or dad about the past day, about impressions and so on.
Such daily rituals contribute to the development of a certain habit in the child: go to sleep immediately, as soon as the baby put on his pajamas, brushed his teeth. Many children fall asleep faster when they expect something good and interesting. For example, on weekends, the parents promised to take the child to the zoo, cafe or film - you can even close your eyes and dream about this event.
Some babies fall asleep quickly when their mom just lies down a bit. If a child asks her mother to stay with him all night, you can resort to a little trick: to say that next, while mom is washing, brushing her teeth, laying down a toy, and she will come in about twenty minutes. In such cases, the baby usually falls asleep on his own.
Another trick (for children 1-3 years old) - you can hang on your crib’s back a mother’s thing, for example, a bathrobe. The baby will feel the presence of mom and fall asleep calmly.
What else do you need to remember?
The child’s addiction to independent sleep should not become difficult for him. Adults will need patience and time in such a difficult matter as teaching a child to sleep separately from their parents. Psychologists tips :
- About an hour before bedtime, you don’t need to play outdoor games with your child, talk loudly, watch entertaining shows.
- Observe daily evening rituals.
- To sleep, the baby needs to create comfortable conditions: a comfortable mattress and pillow, soft pajamas and bedding. It is better to ventilate the room before going to bed.
- At the request of the baby, leave the nightlight or lamp turned on in the room.
- Talk with the child, if something disturbs him, try to calm him down.
- Parents should be persistent and consistent in their actions and requirements.
- You need to talk with the child in a calm and even voice, without an ordered tone.
- Parents themselves should set an example for the children, not stay up late, but get laid at a certain time.
The main thing is not to be nervous and worry a lot. Each child has its own growth rate and developmental features. Some babies sleep peacefully in their crib from the age of six months, while someone learns this at only five years old.
Parents can use the experience of friends, other families, psychologists, and can develop their own method of teaching the baby to independently fall asleep in their crib.