Touchiness is not considered the most attractive feature for both a child and an adult. It repels people and does not allow to live a full life. So that the child does not grow upset, parents need to get rid of this unpleasant character trait as soon as possible.
The essence of children's resentment
During the formation of personality, the child independently adds up his own ideas about himself together. The fundamental part of the character is compiled due to the influence of parents or close relatives. After all, it is their behavior that is for the child an example of how to act. Adults begin to compare children among themselves, to distinguish their child from the general crowd, and also constantly evaluate his behavior, habits, words and appearance. After that, they still wonder why the children are touchy.
Such a parental attitude affects the character acquired by the baby. Without his own reinforced opinion, the child is always waiting for a reaction to all his actions. From adults, he needs recognition and attention. Therefore, if the baby was denied the purchase of another toy, it is not surprising that he begins tantrums and resentment.
Resentment
However, the reaction in children is completely different. Depending on the nature, the child responds to stressful situations in the following way:
- Trying to settle everything.
- Angry, showing aggression.
- Offended.
The latter feeling is known for its fine line between hope and disappointment. Having not received the expected act or reaction from adults or peers, the child cannot control his feelings and is offended. A child’s resentment always needs a demonstration so that the abuser notices how he did wrong and begins to regret. Offended, the child will certainly reinforce his emotions with facial expressions, gestures, crying or silence.
Before condemning the baby for the manifestation of resentment, it is necessary to find out the essence of its occurrence. Perhaps his reaction to some events is quite normal and adequate. It is especially delicate to relate to the insults of a child who is under 5 years old. At this age, the baby is just starting to learn how to manage his emotions.
Reasons for frequent grievances
It is completely different to look at the situation if the child shows resentment already at a conscious age. Most likely, these are already manifestations of manipulations, especially in the case of offenses against parents. Features of a touchy child can be as follows:
- Low self-esteem. In this case, the baby is constantly in doubt in his own thoughts, abilities and talents. It seems to him that he is worse than other children in everything. He may also consider himself unworthy of the attention of adults or other people of interest to him. This is what makes the touchy child hide, avoid contact with everyone, be rude and show their whims. Thus, he tries to show his significance in the eyes of others. If resentments entail increased attention, the child fixes this in his memory, and when he becomes sad or lonely, he prefers to remind himself of himself precisely by such actions. In order to overcome the baby’s low self-esteem, it is necessary to praise, encourage and encourage him as often as possible.
- Lack of attention. Even when it does not seem to parents that they pay little attention to their child, a touchy child may have a different opinion on this. Most often it goes against the beliefs of adults. Therefore, it is not necessary to immediately reject the lack of attention as the main cause of resentment. It is necessary as often as possible to be interested in the life of the child, his interests, hobbies, friends. Every evening with family, should be accompanied by heart-to-heart talk. This is the only way to fill the child’s lack of attention and prevent resentment.
What to do to parents
First of all, parents need to understand that quickly reeducating an offensive child will not work. For an effective result, it will take a very long time to work with his self-consciousness. Sometimes it will be difficult and painful to work out the deep complexes of the child, which have become the cause of excessive touchiness. However, this must be done without fail. Only after passing this difficult stage, the child will understand how much unnecessary pain brings him resentment.
Parents do not have to wait for a critical situation to start working with the perception of their child. Attentive parents should recognize the problematic character trait as soon as possible before it brings the child suffering. Due to ridiculous insults, he can lose friends or alienate all his friends. To prevent this from happening, adults should gently and delicately influence the psyche of the touchy child.
Practical advice for adults
To bring to the baby the futility of offenses can be through games or joint leisure. It is very important not just to read notations, but to try to interest him with his explanations. To do this, you can use the joint reading and discussion of the read. Based on the topics of the book, you need to explain to the baby the reason for the actions of the protagonist. An important advantage will be his sympathy for the main participant in all the events in the book. Together, determining the motives of his behavior, you can help the child overcome his own fears and complexes. Comparing himself with the main character of the book, the kid will be clearly aware of how to behave in a particular situation.
How to help your child deal with resentment
Thinking about what to do with a touchy child, first of all it is necessary to talk heart to heart. Parents should teach their baby to express emotions from a very conscious age. You cannot force a child to hide or be ashamed of his feelings. He should not be afraid of them. If a child grows too touchy and vulnerable, this indicates his inability to express emotions in a natural way, without quarrels or tears. Only by learning to determine the causes of psychological discomfort can he express his feelings less painfully.
The child must understand that he is not alone in experiencing such a huge range of emotions. Other people also feel frustrated, misunderstood, and mismatched by reality with their desires. Nevertheless, many are able to correctly express their dissatisfaction, without crying and blaming. Thanks to this skill, their collapse of hope does not bring them so much pain and frustration. The same needs to be explained to the child.
How to be with a touchy baby
It is difficult for young children to explain the inner motives of adults, which encourage them to turn resentment into dialogue. But more often than not, parents have a question: what to do with a touchy child of preschool age? Therefore, it is necessary to take advantage of certain tricks by analyzing situations that occurred during the day. For example, you need to tell a child that a friend refused him a toy not because he treats him badly and does not want to be friends, but simply because it is new. The fact that he was not invited to play can be explained by the fact that he himself did not show a desire to participate in the team. It is necessary to help the baby to look at offensive situations differently. Conducting such conversations daily, you can teach him to correctly understand the thoughts and actions of other people, even if the child is very touchy.
How to prevent persistent resentment
In order to prevent the insidious feeling from overcoming the heart of a little man, it is necessary to prevent the development of resentment. To do this, be guided by the following rules:
- Do not compare the child with others. Such actions destroy the children's psyche and make the baby constantly compete with other children. He begins to perceive any misconduct too painfully, which leads to the development of an inferiority complex and low self-esteem. These experiences sooner or later will make the child unnecessarily touchy and vulnerable.
- No need to play contests with young children. It is better to choose intellectual games that have clear rules and boundaries. A constant desire to win will interfere with the normal development of the baby. Because of this, touchy preschool children transfer all their experiences to adulthood.
- Give your child the opportunity to be creative. An ideal choice would be joint classes in modeling, drawing, design.
When doing everything to prevent vulnerable resentment and a tendency to self-flagellation, it is necessary to remember the age of the child. It is better to work with the consciousness of the baby in the preschool period of his life. In this way, possible disappointments that always occur in touchy children can be prevented.
Parent Mistakes
Some adults, without realizing it, have been cultivating complexes in their own children for years. This is due to the fact that they grow them through the prism of their own unfulfilled desires. After that, they are very surprised that the child has become touchy. You can’t do this with kids, because they are separate individuals with their own desires and a different character. This attitude contributes to the accumulation of resentment in the child, which is subsequently expressed in all the people around him.
Due to the mistakes of his parents, he goes into adulthood with the negativity that has been going on in his soul for years. Such a person takes offense at any unpleasant event, thus reinforcing his complexes even more. If you do not overcome them in childhood, it will be much more difficult to do this in the future.
Feelings of offended children
Offended by something, the child will perceive the people around him and the events that occur are inadequate. He is inclined to consider himself deprived and underestimated. From a positive point of view, we can distinguish that he always expects an exceptionally good relationship. At the same time, the behavior of the child will in every possible way demonstrate the expectation of approval, support and recognition. The negative side of this perception is that such children constantly consider themselves underrated by others. A tearful and touchy child will always be in a sinking, dissatisfied state.
Having received approval a hundred times and once faced with misunderstanding, the baby will experience a strong sense of resentment. It will seem to him that the world is unfair to him, and people do not understand. Such an attitude towards others will complicate all aspects of the future life of the child. That is why parents should eradicate his incorrect perception in childhood.
Family atmosphere
When a child is very touchy, not every parent knows what to do. Someone begins to blame him, and some send the baby to sessions with a psychologist. However, first of all, the problem must be sought within the family. The family atmosphere has a profound effect on the child. It is from parents that he takes the basic habits, which then form his character. If the family decided to take offense at each other for the smallest trifles, the child will also relate to his friends, and then to his life partner.
Constant conversations with the baby about the futility of offenses will only give a temporary result. Children rarely listen to the words of their parents if they are contrary to their actions. Therefore, it is so important to create a friendly atmosphere in the family. Looking at how adults share their experiences, trust and love each other, the child will project the same behavior in his life. In this case, there will be no room for resentment in it.