Transitional age in a child: when it begins, signs and symptoms, developmental features, tips

Yesterday you could not get enough of your child. And suddenly everything changed. Daughter or son began to throw tantrums, be rude and stubborn. The child has become simply uncontrollable. What happened?

Everything is very simple. Your krovinka smoothly "entered" into transitional age. This is a very difficult stage not only in the life of a small person, but also of his entire family. How many transitional ages do children have in their entire lives and how to survive this difficult period? After all, it is very important not only to establish relationships, but also not to miss a child.

Options for age-related behavior changes

In adolescence, children behave very inappropriately. These stages of the formation and growth of the child accompany the entire period of his growing up:

• 2.5–3 years - the period of the first social adaptation, the first experience of independent communication in a team (nursery or kindergarten);
• 6–7 years - the time of manifestation of independence, complicated by the change of the children's team (from kindergarten to school);
• 13-14 years - the notorious puberty, the formation of personality, a gradual adaptation to adulthood.

When a child begins a transitional age, many parents are simply lost and do not understand how to respond to changes. There can be no panacea in this matter. It all depends on the individual characteristics of the child’s development, upbringing, the nature of habitual communication with the outside world and people. The duration of the transition also varies. Some adapt to new conditions in a few months; others may take 1.5–2 years.

Stubborn Three Years

The transitional age in children of 3 years can begin both earlier and later than the indicated term. It all depends on individual characteristics. During this period, the baby for the first time begins to become aware of himself as a person, to establish the boundaries of what is permitted. For the first time, his own “I” begins to form. Yesterday, your baby was affectionate and obedient, and today in front of you is a stubborn, constantly crying and capricious mischief.

Vivid manifestations of the three-year crisis

To miss such a change is simply impossible, the signs are too obvious. The transitional age in children of 3 years looks something like this:

1. The baby constantly naughty, aching, requires more toys and mother's attention. It seems that the baby is never completely satisfied.
2. The child does not obey and demonstrates his equality with adults.
3. Persistently trying to independently perform various actions. If nothing comes out, she cries and throws a tantrum, but stubbornly refuses the help of adults.
4. Stubbornly trying to subjugate his parents. At the slightest resistance he throws a tantrum, forcing him to submit.
5. Many previously beloved things and people are denied: the beloved bear is abandoned in the corner, the adored grandmother is perceived as a stranger.
6. Absolutely does not perceive the words "impossible" or "no." When trying to force something, he arranges public tantrums.
7. He does not listen to explanations at all, runs away from his parents, throwing them in the middle of the road.

How to react to parents?

So, you are convinced that the child has a transitional age. How to behave with a little despot? First of all, you need to remember that screaming is an inappropriate weapon in the fight against age-related changes. Parents will have to gather all their nerves into a fist and show maximum patience.

Here are some suggestions:

• The child is your reflection. The calmer the mother behaves, the faster the child will repeat after her and calm down himself.
• Do not criticize. Accompany each correct action with praise. If something doesn’t work out, don’t hang tags.
• Let your child make decisions. He can choose his pants in kindergarten or choose a name for the hamster.
• Show your love. Do not scold the baby for petty pranks. Praise the cup you have washed, even if you have to wash it again.
• Do not compare crumbs with other people's children. Children of this age simply do not have a sense of competition.
• Let the child sometimes win, especially in those moments that are not so important. He wants to try on his mother’s old skirt? Nothing terrible will happen from this.
• Recognize your child’s right to be an adult. Tell him how adults behave. Try to explain all one hundred thousand “why” in an accessible way.

Features of the development of first graders

If the transitional age of a three-year-old child is safely passed, parents can relax a bit and rest. But just a little bit. In just a couple of years, a new round of developments awaits them.

With the beginning of school age, the child undergoes a complex restructuring of the peripheral nervous system, experiences emotional overstrain, and rapid fatigue. But at the same time it shows special mobility and activity.

The transitional age of a child of 7 years is most often associated with the emergence of a new type of activity - study. Yesterday's kindergartener strives to quickly become an adult, go to school. However, he still thinks in images. During this period, it is difficult for children to concentrate on one subject for a long time. The brighter the image proposed by the teacher, the easier it is for the child to remember one or another concept.

Signs of a crisis of 6–7 years

The transitional age in children of 6 years is also manifested quite clearly. The main features of this stage of personality formation are:

• disobedience, an attempt to ignore the requests and instructions of adults;
• twisting and mimicking of others, most often relatives;
• poorly motivated attacks of anger (screaming, tantrums, throwing toys);
• separation of one’s self into internal and public;
• mannerisms, grimaces, posing always and everywhere, copying adult behavior;
• the requirement for adults to recognize their own "adulthood."

During this period, the child becomes very "uncomfortable." The established adult-child relationship is broken, and parents pay attention exclusively to the moment of obedience. Too much effort made in this direction can break the psyche of the child, make him lethargic, limp, develop the habit of thoughtlessly submitting to a stronger or adult person.

How to negotiate with a "new" child?

The transitional age of a child 6-7 years old requires a special approach. Adults need to reconsider their approach to education:

• Allow the child to exercise reasonable autonomy. Determine the range of responsibilities that he can perform on an equal basis with adults (feed the cat, take out the trash, walk the dog).
• Sometimes remind the child that in some cases he cannot replace mom and dad. Arrange a "day on the contrary." Let the child try to fulfill your duties independently, and for this time you should take his place.
• Negotiate. A child of this age should understand that any promise has value.
• Leave the child the right to have a bad mood. The kid has the right to be sad, rejoice, or even cry if he is bitter and offended.
• Show your child ways to throw out aggression. You can, for example, hang a punching bag in your house or stock up on a bunch of old newspapers that you can crumple and tear in a fit of rage.
• If you don’t agree, use the principle of “soft pressure”. In an even and calm voice, repeat the rules of conduct, set the boundaries of what is permitted. For example, the weaker can never be beaten, you can’t talk with your grandmother, like with a girlfriend and peer, running across the road is unacceptable. When the situation is not critical, do not insist. Let the child make his own choices and feel the consequences.
• Talk with the children. Tell us that in your life there have also been conflicts and difficult periods. Share your experience of getting out of various situations, together talk about what else can be done.
• Refuse punishment, psychoemotional and physical pressure. A child, to whom a belt was often used in childhood, will forever learn that the one who is older and stronger is right.
  
  
  
  
  
  

Puberty

The transitional age in children 12 years old is associated with the onset of puberty, the formation of an adult model of behavior. The teenager begins to analyze information, draw independent conclusions, critically evaluate the actions and words of the people around him. The child seeks his place in society, consciously accepts or rejects various moral principles.

A transitional age in a child of this age is accompanied by rapid growth, hormonal changes and noticeable physiological changes. All this has a noticeable effect on the psyche of a teenager, making her labile, unbalanced. Hence the emotional explosions, frequent mood swings.

"Cherry on the cake" are often all kinds of teenage ailments. Bones, muscles, vessels simply do not keep pace with the overall rapid growth of the body. From here - frequent dizziness, sweating, hypoxia, fainting, palpitations, pain and aching joints and muscles. Well, traditional acne on the face does not add optimism at all.

Why it happens?

The physiological processes hidden from the eyes of others cause teenagers to feel discomfort, emotional overstrain, anxiety and fatigue. Add "pleasant" minutes of increased training loads. With poor performance, parents often increase pressure.

The child often “loses himself”, the old landmarks no longer work, and where to move on, he still does not understand. A growing sense of confusion, inner anxiety, loss of self. The adolescent’s own life experience is still too little to make informed decisions, and the feeling of hypertrophied independence prevents adults from seeking advice and help.

These obscure teens

How can homeworkers understand that a child is in a transitional age? What to do? How to help not lose yourself?

It is unlikely that you will not notice the beginning of the changes. During this period, yesterday's first-grader changes very quickly, both physically and emotionally. You can congratulate your family on the onset of the teenage crisis if:

1. The child began to grow vigorously and over the last year added more than 10 cm.
2. The teenager began to show secondary sexual characteristics.
3. The skin on the face, back, or chest “blooms” with acne and acne.
4. Just yesterday, a calm and affectionate child begins to show aggression, is rude, rude and argues more often than usual.
5. Shy of parental attention and affection with strangers.
6. He becomes incredibly touchy, reacts violently to what he did not notice before.
7. The teenager suffers from sudden mood swings, seeks to show his personality (nose ring, green hair, pants with holes, etc.).
8. Prefers to spend more time with friends than with parents.
9. The child is rapidly losing self-esteem. From a self-confident class leader, it can turn into a shy and notorious single-handed person in a few months.

What will “please” boys and girls with?

The transitional age in a child is directly related to a change in hormonal activity. This leads to sudden mood swings, depression, aggression, isolation or increased anxiety.

A teenager is trying to regain personal space. Because of this, conflicts often occur, because the child is trying to get out of the custody of adults.

Relations in the team also begin to heat up. The desire for leadership leads to conflicts between peers. This can cause asocial behavior. In an effort to demonstrate to others his coolness, a teenager can join a bad company, start smoking and drinking alcohol.

Complex relationships in the team can lead to the fact that the child will feel like an outcast. He closes in himself, becomes gloomy and gloomy. In the company of peers, such a child will experience a constant sense of humiliation.

Great importance is attached to issues of appearance. Both boys and girls begin to spend more time in the bathroom or in front of the mirror. Previously, a child indifferent to clothing begins to demand trendy expensive outfits.

There are problems of the first unrequited love. An unsuccessful first experience with the opposite sex can leave a very strong imprint on the formation of self-esteem and the personality of the adolescent as a whole.

How to help a teenager accept himself?

Excessive criticality, often manifested in the expressions of the child, is aimed not only at others, but also at himself. Try to explain to a teenager why he is good. Show his strengths and weaknesses. Celebrate successes, give praise and don't let it get stuck in failures. This will help increase the self-esteem of a boy or girl.

Do not stop your child from communicating with peers. Help build relationships in the team. As far as possible one on one, analyze the ongoing conflicts, offer several options for getting out of the situation. Tell us about your experiences with teenage problems.

Do not laugh at new hobbies. Want to learn to play the guitar? Steadfastly endure nightly strumming. Plans to insert a ring in the nose? Discuss this option as well. Do not stop the teenager from expressing himself, otherwise he will stop sharing his thoughts with you. Make it clear that you will love a daughter with red hair.

Try to be as calm as possible about the shocking tricks of a teenager. Let him go wild. Of course, if this does not pose a danger to others and to himself.

Allow the offspring to make their own mistakes. Warn him about the possible consequences and allow him to make a decision on his own. Of course, before this it is important to make sure that the child’s behavior does not entail critical consequences.

Psychologist's help

Parents do not always understand how to communicate with a child in such a difficult period for him. They simply do not have enough knowledge, endurance or free time. An ideal solution would be to consult a psychologist. This is especially important in such situations:

• the teenager is very tired and even refuses to eat;
• rude to all adults indiscriminately;
• literally requires, not asks for pocket money;
• demonstrates suicidal tendencies;
• shows noticeable aggression;
• does not make contact, closes in itself.

Every crisis is a difficult test both for the child himself and for his relatives. A specialist will help to establish contact and it is easier to overcome a difficult period. It will be easier for parents to be sensitive, understanding and accept a “new” member of their family.